sovay | First you pound the fish flat with a mallet

That is so funny. My first reaction was "Aww..." and my second was "People are gonna want to eat that."

LOL

"With a pink crustacean and a pickup truck..."

It looks like the misbegotten offspring of Marilyn Monroe and a bedbug. Maybe the next family should be Samsaida?

Nine

It looks like the misbegotten offspring of Marilyn Monroe and a bedbug.

I was thinking a crawfish and a feather boa, myself.

Maybe the next family should be Samsaida?

It'd be a biologist's headache: changing species every time it woke up. "We've discovered . . . wait, damn, all right, we've discovered a new . . . hold on, it just . . . oh, for crying out loud . . ."

That is about the most bad-ass creature as I have seen in years... I will harvest them into an army of unfathomable intimidation.

... that was my thought, too. You just know somebody's gonna start a restaurant.

Wait a year; I bet you it's part of a sushi at Miya's. The Kiwa Decompression Roll. I'd try it.

As would I. The chef would be sitting in the back on a gigantic black-leather swivelly chair with one of them (modified to breathe air) perched in his lap, petting it rhythmically and laughing maniacally.

with one of them (modified to breathe air) perched in his lap, petting it rhythmically and laughing maniacally.

*ksnerk*

I can only state that the next Bond film would be infinitely improved by the scene you have just described.

Aww. It looks just like an alabaster Egyptian scarab. With big fuzzy pigtails.

Or a scarab that's taken up flamenco dancing . . .

Someone agrees with me that it looks like a scarab! Yay :)

I also thought that it looked a little like what might happen if a tribble were forced to evolve self-defense, but that was so incurably geeky—and for a fandom I'm not even part of—that I went with the flamenco scarab image instead.

I think Tribbles defend themselves by drowing you in their offspring.

They did almost destroy the Klingon Empire, so clearly it works pretty well . . . and besides, that way YOU don't have to fight anybody, just your plethora of progeny . . . and even then it's not fighting so much as taking up so much space that your opponent dies of suffication :)

I think Tribbles defend themselves by drowing you in their offspring.

I wonder if this means that tribbles are kosher. Before you start looking at me like that—I've always assumed that the reason locusts are kosher is because when you get a plague of locusts, there's damn-all else to eat after they're done with your fields. So on the same theory, would one be allowed to eat the tribbles before they reproduce you right out of house and home? And if so, does this mean that tribble parmesan is trayf?

1) I'd be surprised if there were meat enough on the tribble to eat. Considering how little energy they need in order to reproduce, I figured they were a reproductive system with legs and little else. They're not seen moving, so I wonder if they even have locomotive capabilities or rely on people getting angry and throwing them far away . . .

2) They could also be considered akin to fish, making them parve. It's never stated what the original natural habitat of tribbles looked like, so far as I'm aware (other than that it was filled with baby tribbles). Not that they have fins and scales, but the locust comment seems apt.

3) I also have this image of a chinese chef "Poison . . . poison . . . tasty tribble!" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/One_Fish,_Two_Fish,_Blowfish,_Blue_Fish)

They're not seen moving, so I wonder if they even have locomotive capabilities or rely on people getting angry and throwing them far away . . .

That would be brilliant, actually: like the reason that trees produce fruit in the first place, only with annoyance instead of attraction as a method of transportation. Those fuzzy little bastards may be smarter than I thought. (Also, I beg to point out that there's not much meat on a locust either. I imagine they're the sort of comestible one eats en masse. Sort of the junk food of the ancient Near East: bet you can't eat just one . . .)

They could also be considered akin to fish, making them parve . . . Not that they have fins and scales, but the locust comment seems apt.

So locusts are parve, then? I was never sure.

"Poison . . . poison . . . tasty tribble!"

*ksnerk*

I imagine they're the sort of comestible one eats en masse.

Well, yes, I was imagining a tribble as something like a puff pastry in terms of capacity to fill you up. I mean, clearly most of its body is used to hold eggs which are about to be laid. So at best it will have the nutritional value of a coconut filled with escargot-of-tribble, at worst the nutritional value of a marshmellow.

All I can imagine if they are marshmellow-like is a Klingon eating game: How many tribbles can you fit into your mouth at one time? The record is somewhere around 6 or 7, if you consider how many the Klingon actually put in his mouth. Though if you count post-reproduction, there were probably 13 or 14 in there. But it's somewhat hard to tell, as by the time of judging the entire building was full of tribbles and had to be nuked from orbit . . .

locusts are parve

Wikipedia doesn't explicitly say, but I think so. At least, I'm sure I've eaten chocolate covered grasshoppers with a hescher on them. What I'm not sure is whether it was milk chocolate or not. But it may well have been. (For reference purposes: they're crunchy.)

So at best it will have the nutritional value of a coconut filled with escargot-of-tribble, at worst the nutritional value of a marshmellow.

I think tribbles reproduce by live birth, actually . . . That said, a coconut filled with roe-of-tribble would almost certainly appear on someone's future menu. If in this day and age one can order sushi made with snapper, papaya, and brie, it's not at all out of the question.

But it's somewhat hard to tell, as by the time of judging the entire building was full of tribbles and had to be nuked from orbit . . .

If you ever take up writing Star Trek novels, warn me in advance?

At least, I'm sure I've eaten chocolate covered grasshoppers with a hescher on them.

There was about a three-year period in my childhood when I really, really wanted to eat chocolate-covered grasshoppers. I no longer remember why. But I'm extremely entertained by the fact that they come with a heksher.

Gerrold originally put something into the script about how tribbles could be bred for meat and fur-- Roddenberry nixed it because in his future wearing fur was barbaric, and I suppose eating the cute widdle fluffy things would be even more so.

(Yes. I am a big geek. Your point?)

My father is given to occasional imitations of a Saturday Night Live sketch where John Belushi tries to sell the audience a contraption* into which one would put mink: the dual result being mink stoles and mink burgers. I'm now picturing a similar sort of production line with tribbles. Cute widdle fluffy coats!

(I don't think Gene Roddenberry would have liked me very much.)

*Which may or may not be called a Ronco Mink-o-Matic; I cannot swear that my father's not confusing it with Dan Aykroyd's Bass-o-Matic.

If you want to see something really cool (that doesn't look very edible), in the Florida cave systems they have these albino crawfish with nearly translucent skin (err... or shell?) so you can see their hearts beating. Very creepy.

These things kindof remind me of orangutans. I don't know why. Maybe it's the long furry arms/claws/whatever. My mind works weird.

I was thinking yeti myself. Half-beetle, half-yeti. If I saw it in a B-movie I'd assume they'd stuck two old monster suits together.

Nah, that's about right; and notice that although the article is much too scientific to suggest any such thing, the author is mentally measuring it up against a salad plate. Not to mention that their informant is called Segonzac, which is, as we know, in the heart of Cognac country.

The researchers said that while legions of new ocean species are discovered each year, it is quite rare to find one that merits a new family.

Aren't we lucky to live on a planet with so much water?

Aren't we lucky to live on a planet with so much water?

Mm. The possibilities for sushi are endless.

Given their habitat, many crustaceans probably give devotion to The Elder Gods. For thousands of years, humans have been eating The Elder Gods' followers. So it is only just that when The Elder Gods return they should exact their revenge: crustacean-eaters will be the last people consumed so that they will be forced to watch in horror the bloody extinction of their own species!

I'm doomed. At the tender age of three, I was devouring crustaceans like nobody's business. (I ate my shrimp tempura appetizer. I ate my mother's shrimp tempura appetizer. I ate the second shrimp tempura appetizer my mother ordered. I think she finally gave up and ordered something that I wouldn't eat—with no seafood.) I'm going to be the after-dinner mint of the Elder Gods.

As dooms go, that's a singularly snappy-sounding destiny.

I do try. ("I time my apocalypses." —John Benson)

First you pound the fish flat with a mallet

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