katiedid717: (Default)
[personal profile] katiedid717 posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
I am a social person. But increasingly, I have little time to socialize. I have two young children and a demanding job. Still, some friends text me frequently, even though I reply concisely and keep refusing their kind invitations. Should I be firmer — maybe start ignoring texts?
BUSY MOM


I once had a boss who, like you, was a busy working mother. She taught me a valuable lesson for managing social interactions on text and email: Do not become hostage to your phone or feel compelled to respond to every message as it arrives. Once or twice a day, spend 15 or 20 minutes responding to all of them — and don’t worry about them again until the next time. It beats telling friends to stop texting.

EDIT: LW provided more info in the comments

I am Busy Mom, LW #4. I just want to clarify something.

In my email to Philip, I used the word "acquaintances," not "friend." The texts I am referring to are from former coworkers, parents of my kids' old friends who now attend different schools, etc. - people I really don't know very well.

I know I should count my blessings, and I do appreciate that people are reaching out, but I truly feel overwhelmed by the number of texts I get from these acquaintances. There are a few former co-workers who text me all the time just to chat and "stay in touch," and I truly do not have as much time for them as they have for me. I'm genuinely wondering if it's better to "ghost" them and stop replying, or to say I don't have the capacity right now.

I'm not sure if other young(ish) parents can relate, but parenting right now feels like a constant barrage of communications - medical appointment reminders, school and after-school emails, parent chat groups, parent-teacher meeting updates, mom WhatsApp groups, neighborhood Signal chats, school log-in systems with updates from teachers, I am completely and utterly overwhelmed with information overload. I get so much textual messaging across so many different platforms, it honestly stresses me out, and I can't keep track of everything.

Psychological safety

2026-05-12 13:59
[personal profile] cosmolinguist

I've just had a cute, kinda meta conversation about psychological safety at work.

I mentioned it offhandedly in the big team meeting this morning and just now a colleague called me just to ask about it. He said he hadn't heard of it before but he was interested. I'm no expert but I tried to explain that it's about feeling safe to challenge people, to be unpopular, to be more of your whole self at work.

It was nice that I could use an example where he once asked me about a new colleague he started working with who uses they/them pronouns; he wasn't sure what that meant or how to use them so he asked me.

And of course him asking me this is itself an example of psychological safety. Something that he noticed himself at the end of the conversation. He's cool, I really like him.

seekingferret: Two warning signs one above the other. 1) Falling Rocks. 2) Falling Rocs. (Default)
[personal profile] seekingferret
I've been a Knicks fan for 35 years and this past two weeks has been the best I have ever seen the Knicks play. They are better by far than '94 and '99. They're also astoundingly more likeable than the '94 or '99 Knicks. It's so much nicer to cheer for Jalen Brunson than it was to cheer for Latrell Sprewell.

The Hart-Bridges-Brunson Nova Knicks thing is adorable, the sheer joy of them getting to hang out again with their college buddies is one of the fun dynamics of this team and certainly contributes to team chemistry.

And KAT, especially Point God KAT that we are seeing in the playoffs, is so much fun. The problem with KAT has always been that he's so talented that sometimes he loses interest and coasts, but he is so fun to watch when he tries his hardest and I have never seen him trying harder than he is trying right now. He fights for every rebound, he's blocking shots like he was Willie Cauley-Stein, and when he drives from the three point line it's like a freight train. And yet even better than any of that is when he stands at the middle of the arc and orchestrates the offense like an air traffic controller. And he's doing it with all of his goofy KAT energy intact. What a delightfully silly man.

I haven't even said anything about OG, who a surprising amount of the time is the best Knick in the floor, a defensive wizard who has discovered how to score at will.

And OG's injury aside, the greatest delight of this postseason is how well rested everyone is. It was so miserable last season watching Thibs grind his starters into powder. Were there triumphs, yes, but the human cost was too high. With help from Mitchell Robinson, Deuce McBride, Landry Shamet, Jordan Clarkson, and even a bit of Tyler Kolek and Jeremy Sochan, the starters are getting to take a break, and the result is obvious, what everyone was screaming about last year. If you're well rested, you don't get hurt as much and you can play with more energy and have more fun. DUH, Thibs And now the Knicks get a full week off before the Eastern Conference Finals while Detroit and Cleveland slug it out.

I'm very nervous nonetheless about Detroit, who has dominated us in the regular season even though they look like they're running out of gas now. But maybe we don't need to face them at all, if they can't get passed the Cavs. And right now the Knicks look like they can beat anybody, and I cannot remember ever having that feeling. It feels so good.
annabeth_roses: (DW: 11 pleading (Eleventh Hour))
[personal profile] annabeth_roses posting in [community profile] fandom_icons
245 Doctor Who icons from Bells of St. John, Rings of Akhaten, Cold War, Hide, Journey to the Center of the TARDIS, The Crimson Horror, The Name of the Doctor, and some more The Snowmen icons.
All Eleventh Doctor with several of him & Clara in the same icon. Also Eleven and River. This was literally the "Eleventh Doctor batch."
Very image heavy.

Teasers:



here @ my journal
[syndicated profile] snopes_feed

Posted by Jack Izzo

The federal health agency wasn't in charge of inspecting the cruise ship where a hantavirus outbreak occurred in 2026, contrary to posts' suggestions.
med_cat: (Spring tulips)
[personal profile] med_cat posting in [community profile] greatpoetry
I feel my boots
trying to leave the ground,
I feel my heart
pumping hard. I want

to think again of dangerous and noble things.
I want to be light and frolicsome.
I want to be improbable beautiful and afraid of nothing,
as though I had wings.

From "Starlings in Winter by Mary Oliver

(via [personal profile] minoanmiss , with many thanks)

3w4dw: Too Cool for Skool

2026-05-12 19:40
adore: (Default)
[personal profile] adore
Greetings, friends. Today for [community profile] 3weeks4dreamwidth I bring you not a Kingdom of Knuffel avatar, but a Wild Knuffel. Wild Knuffel are adoptables made by users, for users! Anyone who wants to try their hand at art and use the Knuffel base to draw on can create one, and submit them for release. Once released, other users can adopt them.

Here's one made by user HanafuruLove. When I told her that I'd adopted him, she saw that I'd named him 'Too Cool for Skool' and she found that hilarious



It's possible to click on the preview box above if you're curious about seeing him in his full glory (all the details HanafuruLove added to him!) or if you want to try feeding and playing with him. I love his tattoos, piercings and of course, his skateboard. The expression on his face speaks volumes
thewayne: (Default)
[personal profile] thewayne
Short answer? Probably not.

This writer has a complex home network. Mesh-enabled, lots and lots of devices plugged into it, a decent-sized family using it heavily. And he did some benchmarking at various times of the day, testing throughput with multiple benchmarks, resetting the router, then doing it again. Not rigorously scientific, but still demonstrative. The result? Didn't make much of a difference.

So he talked to some router manufacturers. And the responses were pretty uniform: modern routers are highly engineered and pretty robust, they're designed to be reliable and have high uptime. If you're having performance issues, the problem most likely lies elsewhere: computer needs a restart, network issue with your ISP, poor network design (you might benefit from a mesh or a faster connection). Or you may need a better/newer router. And, of course, keep your router's firmware updated for performance purposes and to ensure it's patched for the latest security updates.

Do I reboot ours very often? Nah. We have occasional power outages, in which case I'll shut off our UPS which will power off the router. The funny thing is that I read this article last night in bed before I went to sleep, and during the night Russet was working and our ISP had a network shutdown for maintenance. The first thing she did? Reset the router. Didn't make any difference since the upstream network was dead.

https://www.pcworld.com/article/3125791/i-rebooted-my-router-and-busted-reddits-favorite-tech-myth.html

Octopuses and Gardens

2026-05-12 09:53
mallorys_camera: (Default)
[personal profile] mallorys_camera


Spent much of yesterday trying to parse how Flavia will react to the news of Neal's death, since I don't want to repeat the Mimi phone call even from a Rashomon view.

Maybe she replays the events of the weekend they just spent together, wondering what she didn't see? I dunno. It irks me that I'm so removed from the creative source that these kinds of plot details aren't flowing! I blame the Schlock gig.

###

In other news, there was frost last night! You can't really plant while frost still rules the night. Hopefully, that will be the last of it.

Also, the New Paltz Community Garden Row Check Committee dinged my garden, citing "Needs general tidying of odds & ends."

What the fuck does that mean?

The garden is vast, which is why they rely on ridiculous bureaucratic measures like a Row Check Committee I suppose, but still. There are no authoritarians like left-wing progressive types who are suddenly put in charge of something.

You have to join a committee, too. I joined the Events Committee. It's filled with the Queen Bee types that 20 years ago, as the mother of a high school jock (Ichabod!), I spent my days avoiding. There's a text thread. The text thread is where these women vie with one another over which delicious treat they will be bringing to the next event—

I will bake cupcakes! 🧁 🧁🧁

I will bring hibiscus, elderberry, and mint tea so we can do an herbal tea tasting! 🍵🍵🍵

I will bring wholesome muffins!
(No emoji. She lost points.)

I will not bring a goddam thing!

###

They've made a movie from Remarkably Bright Creatures, which was one of my favorite books a couple of years back, so last night I watched it.

Surprisingly good!

I mean—not a cinematic masterpiece or anything. But Sally Field and Lewis Pullman are excellent in the leading roles, the evocation of life as usual in a pretty little town in the Pacific Northwest was engaging, and the CGI octopus was awesome. It's a sentimental movie without being cloying. I cried buckets!

Octopuses have always fascinated me as the prime example of convergent evolution. For example: Their eyes have a cornea, lens, iris, and retina, the same system humans and other vertebrates use, and yet humans and octopuses diverged from their common ancestor 500 million years ago, long before the development of ocular organelles in either phylum.

They are extremely intelligent, but their neurons aren't myelinated (i.e. insulated) the way vertebrate neurons are. These neurons are able to transmit signals rapidly because they are so thick. Most of an octopus's neurons are not centralized into a brain but spread among their tentacles, which are not mere arm analogs but sophisticated sensory organs.

And despite Remarkably Bright Creatures' remarkably appealing Marcellus, octopuses are not social in the slightest. They have no equivalent to cultural learning. Both males and females die shortly after a reproduction cycle is complete, which makes for short lifespans, typically between one and five years. This is really fascinating to me because, as far as I can tell, vertebrate intelligence evolved as a tool for managing social interactions. I mean, what other function does intelligence perform? So, if they're not social, why did octopuses become intelligent?

Firsts

2026-05-12 07:45
firecat: (quadruple facepalm)
[personal profile] firecat
I wrote what I thought was a fun and helpful comment somewhere on R3ddut. The mods decided it was written by AI so they removed it. Do I get a statue with three arms and six fingers per hand as a reward? Should I missspel more words in my next comment?
[syndicated profile] reddittrackers_feed

Posted by /u/mrbeanmp3

I looking for a good music tracker Preferably one but a good Selection of uk dubstep and epunk I know about OPS and RED But Ops but OPS Interviews are closed and RED seems too difficult And I already use soulseek And if it matters I just joined myanonamouse A couple days ago It's my only tracker I'm in

submitted by /u/mrbeanmp3
[link] [comments]

charabanc

2026-05-12 07:28
prettygoodword: text: words are sexy (Default)
[personal profile] prettygoodword
charabanc (SHAR-uh-bang) - (UK, dated) n., a bus hired by groups for pleasure outings.


Originally a horse-drawn then motorized omnibus with benches and open sides for sightseeing:

a motorized charabanc packed with tourists
Thanks, WikiMedia!

Now generally called a coach, which is also used in the States (can't speak to other locales). The word can still be used in the UK to describe any vehicle that is slow or overcrowded or an overelaborate production, but I don't know how common either of those are, and in any case the sense in Sayers' time was the above. Taken sometime around 1900 from French char-à-bancs, literally coach-with-benches.

---L.
neonvincent: For posts about geekery and general fandom (Shadow Play Girl)
[personal profile] neonvincent
...but it's the last one in PopCultureDetective asks 'Who Framed Public Transit in LA?'

MerMay The Twelfth

2026-05-12 21:46
leecetheartist: Photo of me coming at the camera, in my colourful mermaid gear (Default)
[personal profile] leecetheartist posting in [community profile] drawesome
Title: Ocean Dancer
Artist: leecetheartist
Rating: G
Fandom: n/a
Characters/Pairings: n/a
Content Notes:

This MerMay - number 12, was drawn in the cardiologist's waiting room while [personal profile] rdm had his tests. It's drawn with the beautiful Azure Kingfisher ink I've used before this MerMay, it's in a Lamy Demonstrator.





Non human looking merperson

Rather non-human looking merperson


Detail of Tail
james_davis_nicoll: (Default)
[personal profile] james_davis_nicoll


Human paleontologists have the professional opportunity of a lifetime... but there's a catch.

Bones of the Earth by Michael Swanwick
kathleen_dailey: (Default)
[personal profile] kathleen_dailey
This 2019 thread on Plaidadder's Tumblr raises points that have bugged me for decades about some writers' (far too often, women writers') unwillingness to use their skills and their imaginations to discover the truth about canon female characters.

https://plaidadder.tumblr.com/post/185804552724/i-know-i-know-i-knooowww-i-knowww-that-women-in


Read more... )

In the case of the canon character I've written most often, five decades of pro and fan stories have (mostly) denigrated, ridiculed, and distorted her onscreen actions and--crucially--her motivations. This Tumblr discussion reminds me that I'm not the only writer and reader who has felt compelled to look for the truth behind the representations, and misrepresentations, of women in canon.

More ballet

2026-05-12 09:35
seekingferret: Two warning signs one above the other. 1) Falling Rocks. 2) Falling Rocs. (Default)
[personal profile] seekingferret
Spring Experience by Boston Ballet

After choreographed by Lia Cirio, music by Lera Auerbach

This didn't really land for us. Immediately afterward we were speculating that maybe we just didn't have an eye yet for non-narrative ballet, but the next two pieces belied that theory, so all I can say is that this didn't land for us. The set consisted of a large white structure of curves, somewhat resembling a miniature Gehry building, but the dancers didn't really interact with it. I think there was some fusion of classical ballet and modern dance vocabulary, but it didn't spark anything for me.

Herman Schmerman choreographed by William Forsythe, music by Thom Willems

On the other hand, this landed. An energetic duet (pas de deux?) followed by a section for 5 dancers, to an interesting miminalist electronic score. I loved the way the dancers moved to the music and how they played off each other, I loved the bits of humor sprinkled throughout. Also the asymmetries of the 5 dancers played out in really satisfying ways. My girlfriend said it seemed like they were having fun out there above all else.

Dances at a Gathering choreographed by Jerome Robbins, music by Chopin

Seeing this was the reason [personal profile] chestnut_pod recommended we go to this performance and it didn't disappoint.

Ten dancers each in distinctive colored outfits perform in a series of smaller ensemble dances, mixing and matching relationships, to a sequence of short Chopin piano pieces. The dancing was beautiful, graceful and physical and surprising. But it was really the combinatorics that were striking, the way the dancers mixed and mingled in different interactions, playing out their personalities by way of the dance. It was an utterly enchanting experience.

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