It's too late to say you're sorry—say you're sorry still

So two years ago Readercon almost died in a self-inflicted fire over the handling of a harassment complaint. I was one of the people who worked to keep the con (a) alive (b) the kind of community we would actually want to remain part of. I think it worked. Our code of conduct is pretty cool. I've just become a member of the safety committee that didn't exist before the summer of 2012. I am glad that I can look back and consider these results entirely worth the experience; at the time it was mostly nerve-racking and full of adrenaline nausea and really stupid arguments. We became a cautionary tale and then we got better. (Note: I don't think we're perfect. Just not dead.)

I've been out of the house since this afternoon, but the last thing I saw before leaving was the Wiscon ruling on James Frenkel. This is the text of the e-mail it instantly provoked:

I would have been fine with this judgment without the promise of time off for good behavior in the first paragraph. If you're going to ban someone for four years, ban them for four years. If they radically revise their attitudes, behavior, and ability to apologize to people and mean it before the end of the ban, good for them! They are behaving like a rational adult human being and not just tailoring their actions to a timeline! Give them a lot of positive feedback and look forward to their eventual return to non-harassing society. But don't undercut your own decision by stating an ultimatum and then instantly offering the option to take it back. That just makes it look like you're giving the harasser a loophole—and the people who were harassed, who might have enjoyed the chance to look forward to a four-year breather, instead have to start worrying all over again: will this be the year he looks convincingly contrite enough that they let him come back and he upsets someone else? Penalties for harassment are not appropriately based on how much you really wish the person would get over their bad behavior; they are based on the bad behavior already done. This is very frustrating.

I could have written that more concisely, but I stand by the sentiment. I do not know any of the people who signed their names to this statement. I do not know their concerns, allegiances, stresses, or conflicts; I have no inside knowledge of the workings of Wiscon and I'm not asking for any. Regardless of the process, what it produced is an official statement advertising that the convention cares more about providing for a harasser's return to the community than about ensuring the safety of those community members who were harassed by him in the first place. And that is not the right order of priorities.

(derspatchel: "Exactly. This ban isn't about James Frenkel; it's about the people he harassed and their right to enjoy Wiscon in a safe environment." I knew someone in this house was concise.)

I have to run out for a radio show. Title of this post and current music courtesy of handful_ofdust, who hooked me up with Bastille's remix of To Kill a King's "Bloody Shirt." It is a perfect theme song for The Walking Dead. It seems applicable to many worsening situations.

It's too late to say you're sorry
Say you're sorry still
I stepped out with heavy heart
To bail you out again

All these things you do
And all these things you do

Get out and get gone
This town is only going to get worse
Get out and get gone
This town is only going to eat you