That’s the way it’s been since protozoa

[sovay]

I love my mother.

Last night, she is commenting on the difference between love and a crush—and up to this point, you must bear in mind, she has been speaking in strictly real-world terms, illustrated occasionally with anecdotes from her life in high school. And then: "But there's that obsessive quality to a crush. Because all you can see is the nymph. And then you move in with the nymph and she turns you into a tree."

Something must be done with this.

Comments

[cucumberseed.livejournal.com]

Very nice.

Are crushes really thought of so negatively? Mine, once I was able to experience mutual shared love have been generally very pleasant and fun. When I worked, briefly as a temp for ING, there was a young lady not too far from my cube whom I dubbed "Lovely Coworker" and for whom I nurtured a secret office crush for about two months, smiling and nodding, maybe daring a hello as we passed one another, until I had to work with her, at which point I learned her name was Jen and that she was a fairly nice, grounded person, decent to work with, and that I liked her, but had no actual romantic interest in her. Right before I went to work there, a year's realtionship had just ended for me and the crush was a big part of my recovery, so I am quite grateful to Lovely Coworker Jen for being the object of my obviously unrequited affection.

I guess my point is that crushes can be wonderful, when you expect nothing from them.

[hans-the-bold.livejournal.com]

I think the quality of crushes depends on the person who has the crush. In most cases they are quite harmless and can even be flattering. They become negative when the person with the crush begins to expect the other person to respond in a certain way, placing expectations on them that are inherently unfair.

So I would say that the danger sign of an unhealthy crush is when the person with the crush insists on calling it love and thereby insists that it is "more" than a crush. Hence the wisdom of the original anecdote; it's easy to get turned into a tree if you aren't careful.

(Cue the Lumberjack Song here....)