Talk of style and glory, but you never pictured me
I wrote: I pay rent on this apartment, but I'm not at home. I haven't had a home for years. I think I will die before I have anywhere I can rest.
We celebrated my mother's birthday at Tryst this evening. When we got home, I lit the candles on the cake my father had made with layers of chocolate angelfood, yellow cake and ganache, and a sauce of sour cherries; my niece who loves tearing paper off things helped my mother unwrap her birthday books. Last night I saw Alex Garland's Annihilation (2018) with![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
spatch and rushthatspeaks; it's a beautiful remix of Jeff VanderMeer's novel and I want to write about it, but first I need the free time in my head and I'm realizing that I just don't get any of that between work and other necessary stresses, not for a long time now. I am not managing to write even about movies I really enjoyed. Fiction, forget it. It feels like suffocating inside my own head. I am hoping to do absolutely nothing with my day tomorrow. I would like to do absolutely nothing with my weekend, but I don't think I can afford it. I would like to do absolutely nothing for a month and then our landlord would move to evict.
There is a line in the song I'm listening to: searching for a song about a love that might have been between anxiety and hindsight. The first time I played it, I heard in between anxiety and Einstein and thought it was some kind of relativity metaphor. I am a little disappointed it was not, although I recommend the album in general. It's good personal-political punk with a non-binary singer-songwriter.
I have Autolycus on my lap and that's nice.
We celebrated my mother's birthday at Tryst this evening. When we got home, I lit the candles on the cake my father had made with layers of chocolate angelfood, yellow cake and ganache, and a sauce of sour cherries; my niece who loves tearing paper off things helped my mother unwrap her birthday books. Last night I saw Alex Garland's Annihilation (2018) with
spatch and rushthatspeaks; it's a beautiful remix of Jeff VanderMeer's novel and I want to write about it, but first I need the free time in my head and I'm realizing that I just don't get any of that between work and other necessary stresses, not for a long time now. I am not managing to write even about movies I really enjoyed. Fiction, forget it. It feels like suffocating inside my own head. I am hoping to do absolutely nothing with my day tomorrow. I would like to do absolutely nothing with my weekend, but I don't think I can afford it. I would like to do absolutely nothing for a month and then our landlord would move to evict.There is a line in the song I'm listening to: searching for a song about a love that might have been between anxiety and hindsight. The first time I played it, I heard in between anxiety and Einstein and thought it was some kind of relativity metaphor. I am a little disappointed it was not, although I recommend the album in general. It's good personal-political punk with a non-binary singer-songwriter.
I have Autolycus on my lap and that's nice.
no subject
Thank you.
Transience is hard. I have been in my current house nearly six years; before that I moved 20 times in 22 years, between three countries. I didn’t realize some of the effects until I stopped.
Yes. That's a lot of moves. I moved three times in 2013 and four times between October 2015 and October 2016. It was awful. I've been stationary since, but not in a way that can be permanent or even long-term, and it's stressful.
The cake sounds fantastic.
It was ridiculous. For most of my life, my father cooked but did not bake; he decided to start learning a couple of years ago and the results have been excellent.