Advised repair schedule: reboot startup disk, offline for thirty-six hours, and replace head

[sovay]

The trouble is that when I manage to get a day in which I do nothing except lie around and read and occasionally glance at the internet and go back to lying around reading—and now intermittently thinking about rewatching Hans Christian Andersen (1952)—I feel that I am wasting time. I am not writing poems. I am not writing stories. I am not writing movie reviews. I am not working my paying job. I am not looking for supplementary work, of which God knows I need some. The Protestant work ethic is killing this country as we speak and I'm not even Protestant and it has been a demonstrable fact for years that if I do not get time by myself, unplugged, unstructured, not interacting in any fashion including the internet, I go nuts. And yet I feel like I'm wasting my time. Time I can't afford. Time running out. Avoiding my way through the end of days. Title of this post determined by my current mood, not by what I'm watching.

Comments

[davidgillon]

Tell your superego it needs to sit back and be quiet while your id and ego let plots and poems ferment in the background ;)

[sovay]

Tell your superego it needs to sit back and be quiet while your id and ego let plots and poems ferment in the background

Thank you. I have spent today trying. I'm not sure I have an ego left, if that's the bit with the self-esteem: I think I just have the overthinking on on side and the abject stress on the other.

[gwynnega]

Time spent resting and recharging is definitely not wasted time.

[sovay]

Time spent resting and recharging is definitely not wasted time.

I know this for other people. As with so many other aspects of the human condition, I am garbage at remembering it for myself.

[grammarwoman]

"Fuck the Protestant work ethic" has been a thought that has run through my head quite a lot recently, because seriously. Hope your rest is restful and not resentful.

[sovay]

"Fuck the Protestant work ethic" has been a thought that has run through my head quite a lot recently, because seriously.

I'm not too keen on capitalism while we're at it.

Hope your rest is restful and not resentful.

Thank you. I read some more books and watched a movie. I'm trying.

[muffyjo]

Having recently rewatched Hans Christian Andersen, specifically, I was rather horrified by the misogyny and the brutality in the message about how it is ok to hit your spouse, if you really love them you see. Still has great tunes but was wearing on the soul to lose the glossy joy of it from my childhood.

[sovay]

Still has great tunes but was wearing on the soul to lose the glossy joy of it from my childhood.

I will keep that in mind if I try it again. Thanks for the heads-up.

[kore]

it has been a demonstrable fact for years that if I do not get time by myself, unplugged, unstructured, not interacting in any fashion including the internet, I go nuts. And yet I feel like I'm wasting my time. Time I can't afford. Time running out.

OH MAN, get out of my head. Doing anything other than work for money every second you're alive is Wrong! especially if you're poor or just scrambling for money!


I have 1 of 2 questions to ask you: can you read PDFs in any way? (I have given up converting them but can read them on my laptop all right, but it's a bit annoying.)

[sovay]

I have 1 of 2 questions to ask you: can you read PDFs in any way? (I have given up converting them but can read them on my laptop all right, but it's a bit annoying.)

Yes, although I don't prefer to if the alternative is a book. (I like not being on screens all the time and I remember things significantly better if I read them in three dimensions.) What's the second question?

[kore]

2) I have a PDF of John Riley's 'Shostakovich: A Life in Film' from the KINO series, it's about 1 MB. Would you like a copy if you don't hae one, and if so would you like it emailed or put up on a Google drive or something? You can DM me details if you like? (I think you have my email address? I can resend it anyway)

[sovay]

2) I have a PDF of John Riley's 'Shostakovich: A Life in Film' from the KINO series, it's about 1 MB. Would you like a copy if you don't hae one, and if so would you like it emailed or put up on a Google drive or something?

I'd love it. That's incredibly kind of you. Thank you.

[edit] Whichever way is easiest for you to send the file. I usually inflict music on people via sendspace, but if Google Drive works best for you, whatever.

[kore]

Wow, sendspace is a lot easier to use now. Here you go! I think I did it right?

https://www.sendspace.com/file/xnmtmn

[sovay]

Here you go! I think I did it right?

Perfect! Thank you! How did you end up with this book in PDF?

Have this poem I wrote about Shostakovich last year.

[kore]

ROCK! I have successfully merged on the information superhighway!

How did you end up with this book in PDF?

Uh, I probably got it off an academic book site ages ago, because that's where I got a ton of PDFs of books that sounded neat but that I could never justify buying (hope this is all right). I was sorting my ebooks last night and thought 'Hey, Sonya might possibly like this.'

Oh that's lovely.

[sovay]

ROCK! I have successfully merged on the information superhighway!

All taillights intact and no tickets!

I was sorting my ebooks last night and thought 'Hey, Sonya might possibly like this.'

I really appreciate the thought. And I'll keep an eye out for a copy in print.

Oh that's lovely.

Thank you.

[kore]

The other books also sound pretty amazing:

KINOfiles Filmmakers’ Companions
General Editor: Richard Taylor
Written for cineastes and students alike, and building on the achievements of the KINOfiles Film Companions, the KINOfiles Filmmakers’ Companions are readable, authoritative, illustrated companion handbooks to the most important and interesting people who have participated in Russian cinema from its beginnings to the present. Each KINOfile examines the career of one filmmaker, or group of filmmakers, in the context of both Russian and world cinema. KINOfiles also include studies of people who have been active in the cinemas of the other countries that once formed part of the Soviet Union, as well as of émigré filmmakers working in the Russian tradition.
KINOfiles form a part of KINO: The Russian Cinema Series.

Filmmakers’ Companions:
1 Nikita Mikhalkov, Birgit Beumers
2 Alexander Medvedkin, Emma Widdis
3 Dmitri Shostakovich, John Riley
4 Kira Muratova, Jane A.Taubman

Film Companions:
1 The Battleship Potemkin, Richard Taylor
2 The Man with the Movie Camera, Graham Roberts
3 Burnt by the Sun, Birgit Beumers
4 Repentance, Denise Youngblood and Josephine Woll
5 Bed and Sofa, Julian Graffy
6 Mirror, Natasha Synessios
7 The Cranes Are Flying, Josephine Woll
8 Little Vera, Frank Beardow
9 Ivan the Terrible, Joan Neuberger
10 The End of St. Petersburg, Vance Kepley,Jr.
11 Chapaev, Julian Graffy
12 Storm over Asia, Amy Sargeant


(see this is my downfall, I'm like 'Oh I could read this someday!' and get big piles. At least if it's free PDFs there's still room to walk in the house)

[sovay]

KINOfiles form a part of KINO: The Russian Cinema Series.

That is an amazing-looking series, like the BFI Guides for Russian cinema. I'd love to see the one about Tarkovsky's Mirror.

(see this is my downfall, I'm like 'Oh I could read this someday!' and get big piles. At least if it's free PDFs there's still room to walk in the house)

The primary furnishings of every apartment I have ever lived in have been books. I can live with this, but I still need more shelves.

[sovay]

Wow, sendspace is a lot easier to use now.

So if you want a lot of actors singing, this post is full of links.

[mme_hardy]

I feel the same way. I'm really sorry.

Give yourself what respite you can. Everybody's got this empty feeling like their mother or their dog just died.

[sovay]

Give yourself what respite you can. Everybody's got this empty feeling like their mother or their dog just died.

You, too, then. Take care of yourself.

I don't know about the long-stemmed rose, but spatch did bring me chocolates when he got home from work tonight.

[teenybuffalo]

And yet I feel like I'm wasting my time. Time I can't afford. Time running out. Avoiding my way through the end of days.

It also me. Another friend used to say that she wound up with Catholic guilt and stern Protestant work ethic despite not being either of those things. I have no idea how one deals with this.

[sovay]

It also me.

*hugs*

I have no idea how one deals with this.

I am attempting to deal with it by also doing nothing societally productive today, but man, I feel weird about it.

[alexxkay]

Me it three. Well, looking through the thread, considerably more than that...

[nineweaving]

*hugs*

Time for musing is essential.

Nine

[sovay]

Time for musing is essential.

I am trying to give myself what I can. I did nothing socially productive yesterday, either.

[selidor]

Yeah, the growing-back days are critical.
After too many years, there are now weekends again where the laptop stays firmly closed (ok maybe a quick email check, but no working), and this has proven to be a Very Good Thing for a healthier Selidor.
But then after the weekend there will still be a voice in the mind of 'yes but what did you get done?'. Fie on thee, guilt-voice. Unwatered seeds never grow.

[sovay]

But then after the weekend there will still be a voice in the mind of 'yes but what did you get done?'. Fie on thee, guilt-voice. Unwatered seeds never grow.

Thank you. I'm glad you have that time for yourself, no matter the false guilt afterward.

[brigdh]

God, I have this exact same problem. Sympathies, at least?

[sovay]

God, I have this exact same problem. Sympathies, at least?

Likewise!

[handful_ofdust]

You're not even vaguely wasting time. I've spent the last two days sleeping all day AND most of the night, and I can only think I'm recharging. Don't let the world tell you otherwise.

[sovay]

Don't let the world tell you otherwise.

Thank you. I'm trying.

(I understand it's not the point, but I did notice that after determinedly doing nothing for a weekend, I promptly wrote a movie review.)

I'm glad you're sleeping.