She said I'd need a blaster and I'd need a freezer gun

[sovay]

Everything since Readercon has been exhausting to no good end. Something needs to give. The cat dying was the wrong thing.

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[readingthedark.livejournal.com]

Our beloved Berrycat became a panther in the sky about ten weeks ago. I've had cat-shaped holes in my heart before, but there's a certain dull clawmark ache in all four chambers that can make it seem like everything's being dragged under. I've found that breathing sometimes helps. Not any kind of deep or special breathing, just the kind where I keep using my lungs and don't walk in front of trains or anything.