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Mine own, and not mine own
So tonight ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
lignota posted one of those memes where you set a list of character questions and ask your friendlist to suggest fandoms to answer from:
Name a fandom and I'll tell you which character I most likely:
1. bake cupcakes for:
2. lend my books to:
3. put thumbtacks on the chair thereof:
4. have a crush on:
5. pack up and leave if they moved next door:
6. vote for President:
7. pick as my partner in a buddy movie:
8. pair up:
9. vote off the island and into the volcano:
10. wheedle into fixing my [whatever is currently broken around the house]:
I said the complete works of William Shakespeare.
Her answers were so brilliant, I sent the same meme—with the same fandom—tonineweaving. Her answers were so brilliant, I couldn't turn down trying it myself. Now I want to know what the rest of my friendlist thinks. This is too much fun not to share.
(In the interests of example and honesty, my answers to Nine are below the cut.)
Oh, God. Some of mine will be taken, of course; I don't think anyone disputes that Beatrice and Benedick are one of the great romantic couples of Western literature, which would totally embarrass them to find out. Also the mechanicals were such an inspired choice, I can't disagree: if they're competent workmen, it's a good job and they'll probably leave you fliers for their next show, and if they're "Right Said Fred," at least you can sit back with popcorn and relax in the knowledge that it was worth in hilarity what you're about to pay in fire insurance. So let's see who's left . . .
1. Cupcakes: Malvolio. I cannot imagine he'd let himself be seen taking comfort food, but I conjecture that if you left a tray of tarts or a syllabub or something outside his door, you might find it'd disappeared the next time you walked by.
2. Books: Marina. Any character who can philosophize an entire brothel's clientele out of the activity traditionally practiced in such establishments (to the point of getting herself hired out as a teacher before she ruins their business entirely) is probably safe around your library.
3. Thumbtack: Leontes! What the fuck, man! Othello at least had a stealthy enemy actively working his destruction; you did it all on your own. You're just lucky you turned out to be in a pastoral romance, is all I'm saying. Under normal dramatic conditions, everybody would have died. (Runner-up: Prospero! Being wronged by your brother does not give you carte blanche to play writer-director with the lives of everyone around you, your daughter included. At least by contemporary standards you are still not as OH SHAKESPEARE NO as: Petruchio! Seriously! Your entire play is a problem by its premise, but you're not helping any!)
4. Crush: I recuse myself from this question, because the most recent Shakespearean character it's applicable to was wearing a really bad tie. I always liked Mercutio, though. And Benedick. And Karl Johnson's Ariel.
5. Flee: EVERYBODY IN THE MERCHANT OF VENICE. EXCEPT MAYBE JESSICA. BUT ALSO MAYBE NOT.
6. President: Viola, Duchess of Illyria. If she was clever enough to come out of a play that labyrinthine with her heart's desire, she'll do fine in government. Her husband might even make a decent Vice-President now that he's gotten over his romantically languishing period.
7. Buddy: I believe the genre of the buddy movie requires a pair of opposing personalities, which means I need someone I wouldn't necessarily hit it off with but could learn to bond with. Which means they can't be a complete asshat, even if they look like it at first. Er . . . I shall go alt-historical and suggest Tybalt, who isn't a villain per se, neither malicious nor stupid, just hot-tempered and house-proud. If you could keep him from killing himself in duels, who knows what he might mature into?
8. Pair: Beatrice and Benedick. It's a classic because it deserves it. Non-canonical runners-up: Starveling and Snug in that one production by the Boston Lyric Opera. They were so adorable.
9. Volcano: IF I HAVE TO LISTEN ANOTHER MINUTE OF YOUR REMORSEFUL RAVINGS MR. LEAR I AM LEAVING YOU ON THIS HEATH AND GOING THE NEXT MYTHOLOGY OVER TO HANG OUT WITH THE CHILDREN OF LÍR. AT LEAST THERE'S SHAPE-CHANGING IN THAT ONE TO MAKE UP FOR ALL THE SELF-PITY. AND I'M TAKING THE UMBRELLA WITH ME.
10. Fix-it: Quince & Co.! No job too small, no malapropism too large. Satisfaction guaranteed or your money back plus two tickets to our next production. Funny, we never get repeat customers with that one.
Your picks?
In other news, I should really try to sleep. I have to vote in the morning. So, if you're in this country, should you.
[edit] Done.
lignota posted one of those memes where you set a list of character questions and ask your friendlist to suggest fandoms to answer from:Name a fandom and I'll tell you which character I most likely:
1. bake cupcakes for:
2. lend my books to:
3. put thumbtacks on the chair thereof:
4. have a crush on:
5. pack up and leave if they moved next door:
6. vote for President:
7. pick as my partner in a buddy movie:
8. pair up:
9. vote off the island and into the volcano:
10. wheedle into fixing my [whatever is currently broken around the house]:
I said the complete works of William Shakespeare.
Her answers were so brilliant, I sent the same meme—with the same fandom—to
nineweaving. Her answers were so brilliant, I couldn't turn down trying it myself. Now I want to know what the rest of my friendlist thinks. This is too much fun not to share.(In the interests of example and honesty, my answers to Nine are below the cut.)
Oh, God. Some of mine will be taken, of course; I don't think anyone disputes that Beatrice and Benedick are one of the great romantic couples of Western literature, which would totally embarrass them to find out. Also the mechanicals were such an inspired choice, I can't disagree: if they're competent workmen, it's a good job and they'll probably leave you fliers for their next show, and if they're "Right Said Fred," at least you can sit back with popcorn and relax in the knowledge that it was worth in hilarity what you're about to pay in fire insurance. So let's see who's left . . .
1. Cupcakes: Malvolio. I cannot imagine he'd let himself be seen taking comfort food, but I conjecture that if you left a tray of tarts or a syllabub or something outside his door, you might find it'd disappeared the next time you walked by.
2. Books: Marina. Any character who can philosophize an entire brothel's clientele out of the activity traditionally practiced in such establishments (to the point of getting herself hired out as a teacher before she ruins their business entirely) is probably safe around your library.
3. Thumbtack: Leontes! What the fuck, man! Othello at least had a stealthy enemy actively working his destruction; you did it all on your own. You're just lucky you turned out to be in a pastoral romance, is all I'm saying. Under normal dramatic conditions, everybody would have died. (Runner-up: Prospero! Being wronged by your brother does not give you carte blanche to play writer-director with the lives of everyone around you, your daughter included. At least by contemporary standards you are still not as OH SHAKESPEARE NO as: Petruchio! Seriously! Your entire play is a problem by its premise, but you're not helping any!)
4. Crush: I recuse myself from this question, because the most recent Shakespearean character it's applicable to was wearing a really bad tie. I always liked Mercutio, though. And Benedick. And Karl Johnson's Ariel.
5. Flee: EVERYBODY IN THE MERCHANT OF VENICE. EXCEPT MAYBE JESSICA. BUT ALSO MAYBE NOT.
6. President: Viola, Duchess of Illyria. If she was clever enough to come out of a play that labyrinthine with her heart's desire, she'll do fine in government. Her husband might even make a decent Vice-President now that he's gotten over his romantically languishing period.
7. Buddy: I believe the genre of the buddy movie requires a pair of opposing personalities, which means I need someone I wouldn't necessarily hit it off with but could learn to bond with. Which means they can't be a complete asshat, even if they look like it at first. Er . . . I shall go alt-historical and suggest Tybalt, who isn't a villain per se, neither malicious nor stupid, just hot-tempered and house-proud. If you could keep him from killing himself in duels, who knows what he might mature into?
8. Pair: Beatrice and Benedick. It's a classic because it deserves it. Non-canonical runners-up: Starveling and Snug in that one production by the Boston Lyric Opera. They were so adorable.
9. Volcano: IF I HAVE TO LISTEN ANOTHER MINUTE OF YOUR REMORSEFUL RAVINGS MR. LEAR I AM LEAVING YOU ON THIS HEATH AND GOING THE NEXT MYTHOLOGY OVER TO HANG OUT WITH THE CHILDREN OF LÍR. AT LEAST THERE'S SHAPE-CHANGING IN THAT ONE TO MAKE UP FOR ALL THE SELF-PITY. AND I'M TAKING THE UMBRELLA WITH ME.
10. Fix-it: Quince & Co.! No job too small, no malapropism too large. Satisfaction guaranteed or your money back plus two tickets to our next production. Funny, we never get repeat customers with that one.
Your picks?
In other news, I should really try to sleep. I have to vote in the morning. So, if you're in this country, should you.
[edit] Done.
Part 1! (the whole thing is apparently too long)
1. Bake cupcakes for: Heiðrún, the mead-making goat. I have not yet met a goat I did not like, and Heiðrún has been on my Top 5 Goats of the Year List forever. A self-respecting mythical goat should enjoy cupcakes, but if not, I am also handy with cabbage.
Heiðrún heitir geit, er stendr hǫllo á Heriafǫðrs
oc bítr af Læraðs limom,
Scapker fylla hon scal ins skíra miaðar
knáat sú veig vanaz. (Grm. 25)
Heithrun is called the goat
who stands by the Hosts-father’s hall
And bites on Lærað’s branches.
A vat* she** shall fill with the bright*** mead,
that intoxicating beverage that can never run out!
*skap-ker: skap- here means fitting, right, correct.
** she, the text says, and obviously Heiðrún is a girl’s name, yet Thorpe translates “he” – what’s up with the goat-mysogyny?
***skírr is bright, or clear; I like ‘bright’
2. lend my books to: Huginn and Muninn; I do so anyway. Such books as are not being lent to either of those worthy ravens are very sad books indeed.
Huginn oc Muninn fliúga hverian dag
iormungrund yfir;
Óomc ec of Hugin, at hann aptr né komið,
Þó siámc meirr um Munin. (Grm. 15)
Thought and Memory fly each day
over the immense ground (= earth),
Fear I for Thought, that he shall not come back,
though even more for Memory.
And I would borrow books from Alvíss, the incredible dwarf linguist!
Segðu mér þát, Alvíss, -ǫll of rǫc fira
voromc, dvergr, at vitir-
hvé sá eldr heitir, er brenn fyr alda sonom
heimi hveriom í.
Eldr heitir með mǫnnom, enn með ásom funi,
kalla vag vanir,
frecan iotnar, enn forbrenni dvergar,
kalla í helio hrǫðuð. (Alv. 25-26)
Tell me that, Alviss – all people’s fates
it seems to me, dwarf, that you know –
how is fire called, that burns for mankind
in each of the worlds.
It’s called fire among men, and among the Aesir – flame,
Vanir call it conflagration,*
giants call it ravenous, and the dwarves - burner,
in Hel they call it hurrier.
* vag is a hapax legomenon. Do we need more evidence that the Vanir spoke a separate language? Methinks not!
3. put thumbtacks on the chair thereof: Bragi! Because I am with Loki here:
Sniallr ertu í sessi, scalattu svá gora,
Bragi, beccscrautuðr! (Ls. 15)
Bold are you on the seat, you shall do no such thing (= cut Loki’s head off),
Bragi, you are a bench-ornament!
4. have a crush on: Kostbera. It’s the magical literacy thing.
Kend var Kostbera, kunni hon scil rúna,
inti orðstafi at eldi liósom ;
gæta varð hon tungo í góma báða:
váro svá viltar, at var vant at ráða. (Am. 9)
Kostbera was learned, she knew how to interpret runes,
read out the letters by the bright fire;
she became attentive to her tongue and both gums,
they (= the runes) were so tangled, it was hard to interpret them.
I was sorely tempted to say “Thor in drag,” but see 5. He's also not my type. Nevertheless:
Bundo þeir þór þá brúðar líni
oc ino micla meni Brísinga,
Léto und hánom hrynia lucla
oc qvennváðir um kné falla,
Enn á briósti breiða steina
oc hagliga um hǫfuð typþo. (þrm 19)
Bound they Thor then in the bridal veil,*
and in the great necklace of Brisings.
Let the keys rattle around him,**
And women’s garments fall to the knee,
And on the breast the broad gems
And pleasingly arranged his hair up.***
*the bridal veil here is, of course, the bridal linen.
** the mistress of the house wears the keys on her belt as a symbol of her authority.
*** It could also mean a headdress, but I like this possibility better.
5. pack up and leave if they moved next door: Thor. I mean, he kills Alvíss, I will never forgive him this.