sovay: (I Claudius)
sovay ([personal profile] sovay) wrote2012-11-06 04:22 am

Mine own, and not mine own

So tonight [livejournal.com profile] lignota posted one of those memes where you set a list of character questions and ask your friendlist to suggest fandoms to answer from:

Name a fandom and I'll tell you which character I most likely:

1. bake cupcakes for:
2. lend my books to:
3. put thumbtacks on the chair thereof:
4. have a crush on:
5. pack up and leave if they moved next door:
6. vote for President:
7. pick as my partner in a buddy movie:
8. pair up:
9. vote off the island and into the volcano:
10. wheedle into fixing my [whatever is currently broken around the house]:


I said the complete works of William Shakespeare.

Her answers were so brilliant, I sent the same meme—with the same fandom—to [livejournal.com profile] nineweaving. Her answers were so brilliant, I couldn't turn down trying it myself. Now I want to know what the rest of my friendlist thinks. This is too much fun not to share.

(In the interests of example and honesty, my answers to Nine are below the cut.)

Oh, God. Some of mine will be taken, of course; I don't think anyone disputes that Beatrice and Benedick are one of the great romantic couples of Western literature, which would totally embarrass them to find out. Also the mechanicals were such an inspired choice, I can't disagree: if they're competent workmen, it's a good job and they'll probably leave you fliers for their next show, and if they're "Right Said Fred," at least you can sit back with popcorn and relax in the knowledge that it was worth in hilarity what you're about to pay in fire insurance. So let's see who's left . . .

1. Cupcakes: Malvolio. I cannot imagine he'd let himself be seen taking comfort food, but I conjecture that if you left a tray of tarts or a syllabub or something outside his door, you might find it'd disappeared the next time you walked by.

2. Books: Marina. Any character who can philosophize an entire brothel's clientele out of the activity traditionally practiced in such establishments (to the point of getting herself hired out as a teacher before she ruins their business entirely) is probably safe around your library.

3. Thumbtack: Leontes! What the fuck, man! Othello at least had a stealthy enemy actively working his destruction; you did it all on your own. You're just lucky you turned out to be in a pastoral romance, is all I'm saying. Under normal dramatic conditions, everybody would have died. (Runner-up: Prospero! Being wronged by your brother does not give you carte blanche to play writer-director with the lives of everyone around you, your daughter included. At least by contemporary standards you are still not as OH SHAKESPEARE NO as: Petruchio! Seriously! Your entire play is a problem by its premise, but you're not helping any!)

4. Crush: I recuse myself from this question, because the most recent Shakespearean character it's applicable to was wearing a really bad tie. I always liked Mercutio, though. And Benedick. And Karl Johnson's Ariel.

5. Flee: EVERYBODY IN THE MERCHANT OF VENICE. EXCEPT MAYBE JESSICA. BUT ALSO MAYBE NOT.

6. President: Viola, Duchess of Illyria. If she was clever enough to come out of a play that labyrinthine with her heart's desire, she'll do fine in government. Her husband might even make a decent Vice-President now that he's gotten over his romantically languishing period.

7. Buddy: I believe the genre of the buddy movie requires a pair of opposing personalities, which means I need someone I wouldn't necessarily hit it off with but could learn to bond with. Which means they can't be a complete asshat, even if they look like it at first. Er . . . I shall go alt-historical and suggest Tybalt, who isn't a villain per se, neither malicious nor stupid, just hot-tempered and house-proud. If you could keep him from killing himself in duels, who knows what he might mature into?

8. Pair: Beatrice and Benedick. It's a classic because it deserves it. Non-canonical runners-up: Starveling and Snug in that one production by the Boston Lyric Opera. They were so adorable.

9. Volcano: IF I HAVE TO LISTEN ANOTHER MINUTE OF YOUR REMORSEFUL RAVINGS MR. LEAR I AM LEAVING YOU ON THIS HEATH AND GOING THE NEXT MYTHOLOGY OVER TO HANG OUT WITH THE CHILDREN OF LÍR. AT LEAST THERE'S SHAPE-CHANGING IN THAT ONE TO MAKE UP FOR ALL THE SELF-PITY. AND I'M TAKING THE UMBRELLA WITH ME.

10. Fix-it: Quince & Co.! No job too small, no malapropism too large. Satisfaction guaranteed or your money back plus two tickets to our next production. Funny, we never get repeat customers with that one.

Your picks?

In other news, I should really try to sleep. I have to vote in the morning. So, if you're in this country, should you.

[edit] Done.

[identity profile] rose-lemberg.livejournal.com 2012-11-08 04:51 am (UTC)(link)
If you can give me a different fandom too, that would be great. Shakespeare is not exactly my thing.

[identity profile] rose-lemberg.livejournal.com 2012-11-08 05:40 am (UTC)(link)
Mrrr this is harder than it looks.

[identity profile] rose-lemberg.livejournal.com 2012-11-09 12:06 am (UTC)(link)
I am almost done. There are too many candidates. My computer crashed from overheating again so I will have to resurrect some of the quotes. Do you want the quotes translated or no? :-)

[identity profile] rose-lemberg.livejournal.com 2012-11-09 02:25 am (UTC)(link)
Wow, this has become blown out of proportions. *sigh*