There were signs in the sky, but I did not know
If one more student tries to tell me that Constantine was responsible for making Christianity the official state religion of the Roman Empire, I'm going to stab them with a Chi-Ro.
(I agreed to help grade papers for a friend with a classful of undergraduates. I despair of humanity.)
(I agreed to help grade papers for a friend with a classful of undergraduates. I despair of humanity.)

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Under the circumstances, I think this would be an entirely pardonable act.
Good luck with the lot. Sorry they're such eejits.
I'm sadly reminded of an old boss of mine who told me she'd ended up giving As on intro archaeology papers simply for not plagiarising.
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Rather severely blasphemous, probably, but cathartic.
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Not so much worse than stabbing them with a cross-hilt sword,* I should think, but if it would make you feel better you could strike them with a Thor's hammer instead--not as symbolic, maybe, but appropriate.
*If you were Catholic I'd advise you to find a Jesuit historian for when you went to Confession afterwards. I'm sure he'd be understanding and let you off with no more than a couple of Hail Marys.
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And belated congratulations on all the good things happening in your life -- may your success continue and grow.
I thought you might find my new holiday greeting amusing:
Best Wishes for all the Holy Days You Care to Count,
And Not One Holy Day More, So You May as Well Count All of Them,
Ron
P.S. What I like about it is that, really, if one chooses, every day is a holy day, every last one of them. And none of us will ever see any of them ever again, so we may as well treasure each one under foot, in our hearts, before our eyes, beyond the skies.
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But get a second opinion from sovay.
--The Professor in question
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Constantine was, on the other hand, the first Roman Emperor to report seeing the face of Christ appear in his morning breakfast cereal ...
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At least he was classier about it than grilled cheese!
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Or this:
http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2010/12/24/ohio-woman-says-markings-in-pistachio-look-like-jesus-face/?iref=allsearch
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I make a distinction between personally adopting, decriminalizing, and popularizing a religion (Constantine I, 313 CE) and making it the only option on the menu (Theodosius I, 380). One could still be a practicing pagan under Constantine—the temples were open, the imperial cult was still on the books. After Theodosius, observance of pagan religion was not only illegal, but systematically proscribed. He put out the sacred fire in the Temple of Vesta.
And belated congratulations on all the good things happening in your life -- may your success continue and grow.
Thank you!
And none of us will ever see any of them ever again, so we may as well treasure each one under foot, in our hearts, before our eyes, beyond the skies.
That's a good blessing.
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Yep. The line I deleted from my reply to
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... wait a minute, that's actually rather nightmarish...
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*headdesk*
I stab them with a labarum.