So I had this package of smoked salmon in my refrigerator. I had vague thoughts of eating it with cream cheese, although not with bagels because I haven't had a chance to get to Brookline. On my way home this evening I stopped by Dave's to look for sliced mushrooms; I came out with a pound of fresh squid ink pappardelle, matte-black and smelling faintly of the sea. And with thoughts of squid ink and salmon for dinner, I got home and found that all the readily accessible recipes pertaining to this combination called for ingredients I didn't have: capers, lemon juice, crème fraîche, dill, mussels . . . I was not leaving the house again. I looked at what I had and improvised.
Oh No You Don't Kitty Squid Ink Pasta with Smoked Salmon and Kippers
1 pound squid ink pasta
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 cloves garlic
4 ounces cream cheese
4 ounces smoked salmon
1 tin (≈ 3.5 ounces) kippers
lemon juice if you have it
cream and grated Parmesan as needed
black pepper to taste
Put up a large pot of hot water to boil. Dump in the pasta as soon as the water is boiling; drain the pasta as soon as it's done, in this case about seven minutes since it was fresh. Follow these steps independent of the rest of the recipe; once drained, the pasta can hang out in its pot or strainer until needed, which is exactly what it did.
Finely dice two cloves of garlic. In a medium-sized pot, sauté in olive oil until garlic starts to brown. If you have lemon juice in your kitchen, add a tablespoon or two at this point. (Capers, ditto.) If you don't, remember that the bottom shelf of the refrigerator is currently hosting those chopped artichokes in olive oil and lemon juice that you haven't been able to eat. Pour off about a tablespoon of lemony olive oil onto the garlic and keep stirring until garlic is soft.
Chop cream cheese into rough chunks; this is not aesthetically necessary, but it will melt faster. Slice salmon into small pieces. The kippers will crumble from being stirred, but open tin anyway so that they are right there and ready. Realize this is a terrible mistake when one of the two small cats who have been prowling thoughtfully around the kitchen suddenly breaches vertically like an orca, seizes the kippers off the top of the dead dishwasher which you use as a cutting station, and brings them back down to the linoleum in front of the stove with him. Shout. Grab protesting cat, toss gently but purposefully away across the kitchen. (Do not worry. He lands securely on his feet.) Dive for kippers, breathe sigh of relief on confirming that the tin landed right side up and displays no signs of kitten interference. Clean kipper juice off oven door and surrounding floor, periodically removing cat from area. Prevent other cat from taking this opportunity to sniff out the plate of chopped salmon. Add cream cheese chunks to medium-sized pot, stir until melting; add salmon and kippers and stir until all components have smoothed into a sauce. If too thick and chunky, thin with splashes of cream. Grated Parmesan adds texture and body. You can skip the middle of this stage if you don't have a cat.
Transfer pasta to sauce pot. (Technically speaking, transfer about two-thirds of pasta because of size disparity between pots. Understand that other kitchens will not necessarily have this problem.) Toss until thoroughly coated. Serve hot with a dusting of black pepper. Agree it could have used some dill, but don't feel too bad about it. The dish as it stands is delicious and fishy and salty and the pappardelle have an oceanic darkness that persists without jarring through the cream sauce. Put a lid on the remains as you leave the kitchen. The cats are already starting to investigate.
Oh No You Don't Kitty Squid Ink Pasta with Smoked Salmon and Kippers
1 pound squid ink pasta
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 cloves garlic
4 ounces cream cheese
4 ounces smoked salmon
1 tin (≈ 3.5 ounces) kippers
lemon juice if you have it
cream and grated Parmesan as needed
black pepper to taste
Put up a large pot of hot water to boil. Dump in the pasta as soon as the water is boiling; drain the pasta as soon as it's done, in this case about seven minutes since it was fresh. Follow these steps independent of the rest of the recipe; once drained, the pasta can hang out in its pot or strainer until needed, which is exactly what it did.
Finely dice two cloves of garlic. In a medium-sized pot, sauté in olive oil until garlic starts to brown. If you have lemon juice in your kitchen, add a tablespoon or two at this point. (Capers, ditto.) If you don't, remember that the bottom shelf of the refrigerator is currently hosting those chopped artichokes in olive oil and lemon juice that you haven't been able to eat. Pour off about a tablespoon of lemony olive oil onto the garlic and keep stirring until garlic is soft.
Chop cream cheese into rough chunks; this is not aesthetically necessary, but it will melt faster. Slice salmon into small pieces. The kippers will crumble from being stirred, but open tin anyway so that they are right there and ready. Realize this is a terrible mistake when one of the two small cats who have been prowling thoughtfully around the kitchen suddenly breaches vertically like an orca, seizes the kippers off the top of the dead dishwasher which you use as a cutting station, and brings them back down to the linoleum in front of the stove with him. Shout. Grab protesting cat, toss gently but purposefully away across the kitchen. (Do not worry. He lands securely on his feet.) Dive for kippers, breathe sigh of relief on confirming that the tin landed right side up and displays no signs of kitten interference. Clean kipper juice off oven door and surrounding floor, periodically removing cat from area. Prevent other cat from taking this opportunity to sniff out the plate of chopped salmon. Add cream cheese chunks to medium-sized pot, stir until melting; add salmon and kippers and stir until all components have smoothed into a sauce. If too thick and chunky, thin with splashes of cream. Grated Parmesan adds texture and body. You can skip the middle of this stage if you don't have a cat.
Transfer pasta to sauce pot. (Technically speaking, transfer about two-thirds of pasta because of size disparity between pots. Understand that other kitchens will not necessarily have this problem.) Toss until thoroughly coated. Serve hot with a dusting of black pepper. Agree it could have used some dill, but don't feel too bad about it. The dish as it stands is delicious and fishy and salty and the pappardelle have an oceanic darkness that persists without jarring through the cream sauce. Put a lid on the remains as you leave the kitchen. The cats are already starting to investigate.
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