You looked unusually lovely with your dark, dark hair

1. My poem "For Saint Valentine, on the Occasion of His Martyrdom" has been accepted by Goblin Fruit. It was written the day after last Valentine's Day. There are classical deaths in it.

2. Trawling the internet with derspatchel way too late last night, we came across the trailer for Empires of the Deep. And, yes, it looks like a dysfunctional big-budget cliché of epic proportions with inexplicably non-underwater mermaids and way too much obvious CGI. It also looks a great deal like some of the not-quite-fic I was writing in early high school, obsessed with inspired by the illustrations and the flavor text on the blue cards of Magic: The Gathering: Fallen Empires (1994).* Gigantic war-sturgeons carrying crews of shell-armed mer-soldiers? Sign me up. Enormous lobsters smashing everything within reach? Deep Spawn, I've missed you! Drowned underwater temples? Twist my arm. I don't know why the tank-sized anglerfish has legs, and I still can't tell whether the opposing army is riding giant crabs or whether they're actually half-crustacean, but I'm not sure this is the kind of movie where you're supposed to care. I would almost certainly watch it, is what I'm saying, even if the story has all the depth and mystery of wet tissues. There are too many images in that bombastic trailer that thirteen-year-old me would recognize.

(Comments on that article also contain the best worst Court Jester pastiche I have seen on the internet. You are warned.)

* Ditto the green, although only the elvish half. The Thallids freaked me out sufficiently that I didn't even like to keep the cards. I was pretty much indifferent toward the other colors in that expansion, although the artifacts were good and I collected all the lands. The sunlit, bone-hung emptiness of Havenwood Battleground, I still find haunting.

3. I must write more later; I have a dentist's appointment to get to. First braces-tightening. Store of carrot-ginger soup already laid in against my return.