And I watched you as you disappeared

In which I backtrack and attempt to say something about Gaylaxicon, because it was a great deal of fun. Mostly I hung out with gaudior, rushthatspeaks, weirdquark, eredien, rabidfangurl, and John who needs to get a livejournal, and was earnestly convinced by nearly everyone around me that I really do need to read Lois McMaster Bujold. Miles Vorkosigan does sound like the sort of character on whom I might have seriously imprinted, had I read the books younger. And the fact that Bujold said that she envisions him "growing up to be Lord Jestocost"—of Cordwainer Smith's Norstrilia and "The Ballad of Lost C'mell," two of my favorite pieces of science fiction ever—was rather a draw. The bad news: we have no Bujold in the house. The good news: Readercon starts on Friday. If someone in the dealer's room isn't selling Miles Vorkosigan books, I will buy myself a hat for the sole purpose of eating it. (Look, I'll have to do something with the money . . .)

The panel I was on ("Women Writing Gay Men—Beyond Slash") went better than I'd expected, at least from the perspective of me having something to say other than, "Er . . . what about gay characters I've written?" We got off-topic so fast, I was able to talk about all manner of classical things—Achilles and Patroklos in the Iliad versus Achilles and Patroklos in Greek tragedy and later traditions, Gilgameš and Enkidu, puns in cuneiform, and Mary Renault—while other panelists handled more strictly relevant aspects like politics, power, gay men as other, the male as human default, Joanna Russ, playing with equality, do gay men write femmeslash, do most women find the idea of two men as sexy as most men apparently find the idea of two women, hot boy-love, projection of self, and many other topics besides. Lots of contemplation of slash, to which I had very little to contribute (and so invited rushthatspeaks up onto the panel, because she (a) can discuss slash far more intelligently than I (b) is just very cool). And finally toward the end of the panel we somehow got onto favorite characters—I think it might have been an outgrowth from the self-projection question, but I frankly cannot remember—and I probably talked far more about mine than anyone in the room really wanted to know. (Moral of the story: I can work Fflewddur into anything.) But it all seemed to go well. Despite having slept approximately half an hour the night before, I was apparently neither incoherent nor obnoxious, and I don't think I offended any of my fellow panelists. (Since two of these were Ellen Kushner and Delia Sherman, whose work I like, this is important.) Readercon may not be as much of a trainwreck as I have feared.

I did not win the Gaylactic Spectrum Award. But I got a reading list out of attending the ceremony!

The reading on Monday was also surprisingly fun. There were perhaps five people in the room, and most of them I knew personally; but since I had never formally read one of my own stories before, the numbers were negligible. I had very little voice, since I had provided a soundtrack of balladry all the way back from New York City the prior night, and that was not a bright idea. I had gotten very little sleep, for much of the same reason. And I read "Kouros," from Singing Innocence and Experience, and what I have discovered is: I really like doing voices for my characters! (Jasper was especially fun, since I consider him the only person with common sense—and a sense of the absurd, which is perhaps more important—in the entire story. Since "Kouros" evolved from looking at stories where someone offers to exchange their own life to bring their lover back from the dead and wondering why on earth the dead lover thinks this is a good idea, it is important to get Jasper right.) I'm not scheduled for a reading of my own at Readercon, so I doubt I'll have the opportunity for this kind of performance again in the near future, but I am glad to know it works.

And as for my schedule at Readercon, see below. (Cut, for the first time in weeks, not for a silly quiz.)
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P.S: Singing Innocence and Experience is now available from amazon.com! Only the paperback, for some reason; but that's fine, it's more affordable than the hardcover. Whee!