Strange is your language and I have no decoder

Created with the kind help of weirdquark and Markov:

Authors and staff members will read from the underworld. Be warned, the text implies that she has it in mind to take over the last king of the above.

(Cut for greater randomness than usual.)
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You are The Mad Hatter

One thing is for sure -- you're as mad as a hatter.
You have an obsession with time and if tea time
were to ever cease, you would probably be even
more confused.

What Alice in Wonderland Character Are You?
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Eh. That suits.