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In Memphis, on Valentine's Day
Diameter of mental blast crater not diminished. Outside is absurdly springlike following the double-tap of winter that required me to shovel my mother's car out twice, once for the unexpected four inches of snow and then for the glacial swamp the succeeding sleet turned the driveway into. In the process I seem to have inherited the Bat, the stupidest motorcycle jacket I have met in my life. It doesn't have sleeves so much as it has patagia. It is covered with snaps that open into flaps and none of them into pockets. The total design suggests that it may be so heavily constructed because otherwise in a sufficiently stiff gust of wind its owner could achieve accidental unpowered flight. It looks like an opera cape with ambitions of fetish night. My mother insisted on it because I had run out to shovel the first time in my flannel shirtsleeves and the second time my corduroy coat was obviously not adequate to the slush-fall, but it was a present to my father from my grandparents about forty years ago and it looks functionally mint because he has spent most of that time avoiding ever wearing it. In its defense, it is extremely warm and also I look like a tire. There will be no photographs.
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Taken in about fifteen seconds because
(The effect worsens when it's fully zipped and snapped.)
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Our hard work ain't been in vain for nothing!
You see why I had to record the advent of this garment into my life. I cannot imagine its target audience. It seems actively unsafe to wear while riding a bike at speed.
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BASE jumping for Goths.
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The T-shirt saying "I AM IN CONSTANT PHYSICAL PAIN" underneath goes perfectly.
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I realized after the photo had been taken that the sleeves had sort of rucked up about my arms as I pulled it on so that you did not get the full sheets to the wind effect, but you see my point!
The T-shirt saying "I AM IN CONSTANT PHYSICAL PAIN" underneath goes perfectly.
Thank you!
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It's so much sleeves.
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I have no idea where I am ever going to wear it that isn't shoveling show.
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I might need, like, weird earrings to accessorize it.
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I do not say useful, and I do not say sensible, and I do not say flattering on any human form, but I do say incredible with my whole heart.
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I don't even know who designed it. It has no discernible label. It just came into existence like that.
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*hugs*
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There's just so much of it and I don't understand why,
*hugs*
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Peter Sellars must have done a Fledermaus.
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My mother said, "I'll get you the Bat," and I thought, "???" and then that happened.
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I can take absolutely no credit! Thank you.