To remember that I can believe

[sovay]

Every year feels harder than the one before. I don't even know what to say about this one. I spent most of it in illness and states of upheaval; I lost entire months in a way that hasn't been true since I first became chronically ill. I have trouble thinking of myself as alive. I maintained my website and my presence on AO3 and my cats have spent most of the evening sleeping on me.

I published one new piece of fiction, but it was important:

"As the Tide Came Flowing In" in As the Tide Came Flowing In, Nekyia Press, August 2022.

Some new poems and some of them very important also:

"Your Starving Days" in Not One of Us #69, January 2022.
"The House Snakes" in Uncanny Magazine #44, January 2022.
"The Direction of Escape" in A Not One of Us Special Web Publication (ed. John Benson), Not One of Us Publications, March 2022.
"The Poet" in Not One of Us #70, April 2022.
"Last Minute" in Strange Horizons, April 2022.
"A Correct Interpretation" in Not One of Us #71, June 2022.
"Sibylline" in Uncanny Magazine #47, August 2022.
"qe-ra-si-ja" in As the Tide Came Flowing In, Nekyia Press, August 2022.
"The Voice of the Cards" in Not One of Us #72, September 2022.

A couple of pleasing reprints:

"The Keystone Out of Your Arch" in The Stellar Beacon: Coded, December 2022.
"Phliasian Investigations" in The Stellar Beacon: Coded, December 2022.

For whatever reason, an unusual quantity of fanfiction for me:

"Let the Neighbors Say Little or Much" (The Covert Captain), May 2022.
"The Double Bluff" (Doctor Who: The Robots of Death), September 2022.
"The Debt of Centuries" (Sapphire & Steel), October 2022.

And so little for Patreon that it hurts:

The New Lot (1943), January 2022.
The October Man (1947), January 2022.
The Love Test (1935), January 2022.
A Girl Must Live (1939), February 2022.
Mr. Denning Drives North (1951), February 2022.
A Month in the Country (1987), March 2022.
The Rocking Horse Winner (1949), June 2022.
Autobiography of a Princess (1975), July 2022.
Mine Own Executioner (1947), October 2022.
"Nunc Dimittis" (The Hunger, 1999), October 2022.
Murder Is My Beat (1955), November 2022.
No Escape (1953), December 2022.

But also there was my chapbook, my first collection of fiction in four years and my first collection of poetry in seven and for many reasons the most important thing I published this year:

As the Tide Came Flowing In, Nekyia Press, August 2022.

I can see the shape of the year in everything I didn't write. I have to remember it is not the only scaffolding of time. Still being here into the next year is another. Happy New Year. Mir veln zaynen do.

Comments

[vass]

It's amazing how prolific you've been this year, when I know you've been suffering so much.

I hope 2023 is a far better year.

[sovay]

I hope 2023 is a far better year.

Thank you.

[rachelmanija]

May 2023 be far, far better.

[sovay]

May 2023 be far, far better.

Thank you. It should be true for a lot of people.

[radiantfracture]

May next year be better. This is a hell of a list.

[sovay]

May next year be better. This is a hell of a list.

Thank you.

[gwynnega]

I hope 2023 will be much better. Still, there is a lot to be proud of on this list.

[sovay]

I hope 2023 will be much better. Still, there is a lot to be proud of on this list.

Thank you. It's very hard for me to see. You should have a better year, too.

[selkie]

*shakes the jar*
I knew we should have packed him in the hand luggage. I thought he’d be contained if we put him in the swaddled turtletat, dammit.
You’ve had him all week probably. It’s entirely contrary to the tiny-philosopher custody and curation agreement. He has to let go your finger now.
*shake*

[sovay]

You’ve had him all week probably. It’s entirely contrary to the tiny-philosopher custody and curation agreement. He has to let go your finger now.

*hugs*

[pameladean]

That is a list to be proud of. May it be more as you wish it, soon. Happy New Year. I'm gladder than I can say that you are here.

P.

[sovay]

That is a list to be proud of. May it be more as you wish it, soon. Happy New Year. I'm gladder than I can say that you are here.

Thank you.

*hugs*

[thisbluespirit]

To still be here is not nothing, and neither is that writing count (of very beautiful and thoughtful things), indeed. <3

That said, may 2023 be better!

[sovay]

That said, may 2023 be better!

Thank you!

*hugs*

[umadoshi]

I hope this year is infinitely better to you. *hugs*

[sovay]

I hope this year is infinitely better to you.

Thank you.

*hugs*

[thistleingrey]

Happy 2023!

[sovay]

Happy 2023!

Likewise!

[sara]

I did not realize you had an anthology out, I missed that somehow in the chaotic mess that was that part of the year for me, so now I have that to look forward to, thank you.

[sovay]

I did not realize you had an anthology out, I missed that somehow in the chaotic mess that was that part of the year for me, so now I have that to look forward to, thank you.

You're welcome! It can be gotten from most places that books are available, including independent book stores. I hope very much that you enjoy it.

[sholio]

Sending hopes for a better 2023. That is an amazingly busy year!

[sovay]

Sending hopes for a better 2023. That is an amazingly busy year!

Thank you. (It doesn't feel like it! It just feels like lost time. I'm working on this.)

Happy New Year

[kathmandu]

I firmly believe that months that were lost entirely to chronic illness, plus the month before and month after moving, should not count toward the year-quota. Didn't you move twice this year? Even if it was 'into a temporary place, stay there a bit with only some of your stuff, then move to a newer place and bring the rest of your stuff from storage', that counts as at least one-and-a-half moves.

If you subtract out the months that were unavoidably lost, and figure your accomplishments against the proportion of year remaining, I bet your productivity will look much better.

Re: Happy New Year

[sovay]

Didn't you move twice this year? Even if it was 'into a temporary place, stay there a bit with only some of your stuff, then move to a newer place and bring the rest of your stuff from storage', that counts as at least one-and-a-half moves.

I did. It was temporarily from the end of June into early November, after having been so sick that the priority of April and May was literally continuing to breathe. (It wasn't COVID-19, which I was tested repeatedly for. The pulmonologist thought it might have been RSV, which I wasn't tested for, in which case, jeez.)

If you subtract out the months that were unavoidably lost, and figure your accomplishments against the proportion of year remaining, I bet your productivity will look much better.

Thank you.