Like ghosts appear in cigarette smoke

[sovay]

After careful perusal of box-office figures for 1981, we have determined that my answer to that data-scraping meme in which the main character of the number-one film of the year in which you were born is now starring in the first movie you ever saw is Indiana Jones and the Dancing Cavalier. Since spatch informs me that Indy was canonically born in 1899, he would be in his late twenties for the events of Singin' in the Rain (1952) and since I find it funnier to interpret this meme as a crossover rather than a substitution, I am now trying to figure out what archaeological mishegos he could be perpetrating in Hollywood that would bring him into contact with Cosmo, Kathy, and Don—and whether, depending on the nature of the mishegos and the timeline of his tenure at Marshall College, he could have Marcus with him. Inevitably, some producer is going to offer him a contract to star in an adventure serial.

Comments

[sholio]

That actually sounds like a really fun movie. I'd watch it.

Having looked up box office figures and wracked my brains, I'm still not sure about the first movie I ever saw, but going with the first one I have a distinct memory of watching, I think we've got Rocky starring in Star Trek III. I'm not even sure where you'd go with that. Illicit Starfleet underground boxing ring?

[sovay]

That actually sounds like a really fun movie. I'd watch it.

I would, too!

I think we've got Rocky starring in Star Trek III. I'm not even sure where you'd go with that. Illicit Starfleet underground boxing ring?

I am confident those exist, to the point where I feel there should have been an episode about one (or some futuristic equivalent, but if people play baseball in the Starfleet future, they probably still box).

[minoanmiss]

*contemplates this gloriousness*

[sovay]

*contemplates this gloriousness*

I don't want to have to write, but I do now want it to exist!

[thedarlingone]

...I get Top Gun and Mary Poppins. I don't even know what to do with that.

[sholio]

I think this is the best one yet, no matter which way you mix up the plots and protagonists. That is AMAZING.

[thisbluespirit]

oh hello you. ♥


(Accidentally typed "Oh hell you" which would not be what I was meaning. ;-p)

[sovay]

...I get Top Gun and Mary Poppins. I don't even know what to do with that.

Admire it. That's what you do.

[ethelmay]

Does it involve a pop gun?

[shewhomust]

I would totally watch this.

Due to my advanced age, I get the Roman hero of Quo Vadis in an unidentified Norman Wisdom vehicle: I'm not saying it couldn't be done, but I don't see why it should be ...

[sovay]

I would totally watch this.

I really feel I lucked out.

Due to my advanced age, I get the Roman hero of Quo Vadis in an unidentified Norman Wisdom vehicle: I'm not saying it couldn't be done, but I don't see why it should be ...

Oh, man, I don't even know if Robert Taylor could sing. If it were the other way around, I think you'd get Michael Crawford in A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum.

[thisbluespirit]

Oh, well, I was born in 1977, so I give myself no prizes for guessing the top rated box office hit! First film I ever watched, though - how does anyone know that?

The first film I remember watching any part of was some old black and white film and I saw a scene where there was a poisoned Christmas cake and it was supposed to be funny and I was horrified and am still a bit traumatised from it and have weird poisoned-food related squicks. (I've described this as best as I can to people and best guess is that it might have been Kind Hearts and Coronets, but generally God Only Knows. Maybe it was some old comedy series. I remember it in b&w, but tbh, our TV was b&w at the time.) But since I'm pretty sure I only saw part of it while waiting to go out somewhere, I don't think it'd count anyway.

Otherwise, that I can remember, probably Anne of a Thousand Days with my Mum, who liked watching sad historical dramas, and I liked history, or Carry On Henry, and probably the latter, because I was small enough that Mum and Dad were both amused and guilty that I loved it so much & they'd let me watch it. (It does seem unlikely, though, that I never saw any children's films. But I can only remember watching TV.)

But on balance, I think Luke Skywalker is probably now in Carry on Henry and, honestly, I'm not sure it would make much difference. To the Carry On crew, I mean. Obviously, Luke would be very confused and fail to get proper Jedi training.

ETA: Excuse all the edits. Yours sounds fabulous, though, I meant to say. I would definitely watch it! XD

[sovay]

Oh, well, I was born in 1977, so I give myself no prizes for guessing the top rated box office hit! First film I ever watched, though - how does anyone know that?

I happen to know mine because my parents remember showing it to me and I remember being shown. We estimate I was four years old at the time: I could already read, but could still fit into my Paddington boots.

I've described this as best as I can to people and best guess is that it might have been Kind Hearts and Coronets, but generally God Only Knows.

If it was a Christmas cake, it can't be Kind Hearts and Coronets—the only poisoning in that movie is accomplished via a glass of port. The rest of the D'Ascoynes are respectively drowned, exploded, shot down with bow and arrow over Berkeley Square, exploded again, and drowned again, though I can't remember if the last is actually the handiwork of the protagonist or the convenient result of admiral's own stubbornness.

I also have memories of encountering things as a child (and as an adult) that were supposed to be funny but which I found extremely upsetting, so you have my sympathy.

But on balance, I think Luke Skywalker is probably now in Carry on Henry and, honestly, I'm not sure it would make much difference. To the Carry On crew, I mean. Obviously, Luke would be very confused and fail to get proper Jedi training.

We haven't gotten to that one yet, but it does feel metaphysically correct that anyone can be incorporated into the Carry On universe, so long as they're willing to be very confused.

ETA: Excuse all the edits. Yours sounds fabulous, though, I meant to say. I would definitely watch it!

Thank you! I wish I could show it to you!

[moon_custafer]

Wait, I think I reversed this—- the first film I can recall seeing was Raggedy Anne and Andy and the top picture the year I was born was Towering Inferno, so I pictured myself as a talking, singing rag doll in a flaming skyscraper, but if it’s *protagonist* from the top film in the plot of the first one you saw… I guess I’m a structural engineer on a quest through a surreal animated landscape where my most nightmarish antagonist is an ocean of sentient taffy?

[sovay]

I guess I’m a structural engineer on a quest through a surreal animated landscape where my most nightmarish antagonist is an ocean of sentient taffy?

Under those circumstances, I can see why they need a structural engineer.

[handful_ofdust]

Going by the top movie in 1968, Funny Girl is apparently now a cross-species animated film in which Fanny Brice is played by Lady Cluck and romanced by (of course) Disney's Robin Hood.

[sovay]

Going by the top movie in 1968, Funny Girl is apparently now a cross-species animated film in which Fanny Brice is played by Lady Cluck and romanced by (of course) Disney's Robin Hood.

I'd watch it.

[movingfinger]

Maybe Indy is in Hollywood consulting on a sword-and-sandals epic? The studio is trying to get ahead of audience fatigue with sheiks, but exotic locations sell! His advice will, naturally, be ignored where inconvenient and he will, naturally, be annoyed.

The Internet says Swiss Family Robinson was the top-grossing film of my year of birth, but if the lead character is the father, Mary Poppins becomes a very different movie. However, The Apartment (1960) won Best Picture in 1961, and Mary Poppins starring Jack Lemmon would be amazing, building on his fantastic performance as Daphne in Some Like It Hot.

[sovay]

His advice will, naturally, be ignored where inconvenient and he will, naturally, be annoyed.

There will be snakes.

However, The Apartment (1960) won Best Picture in 1961, and Mary Poppins starring Jack Lemmon would be amazing, building on his fantastic performance as Daphne in Some Like It Hot.

I would without the slightest irony love to see that.

[julian]

a) *Good* crossover. Plz yes Marcus. (But not Marion?)

b) The #1 movie the year I was born is The Exorcist, but the #1 movie the *week* I was born was Cabaret. Technically, the first movie I ever saw was Bambi (because my parents wanted to introduce me to movies with a less overwhelming movie than Star Wars... um, oops?), but the first one I *remember* was Star Wars. So Liza Minelli in Star Wars makes sense on a level of "child of *different* Hollywood Royalty" sense.

ETA: Oh, protagonist. Sally Bowles As Princess Leia! ...eeeeyikes.

[sovay]

Plz yes Marcus. (But not Marion?)

I thought she was in Nepal by then! If she isn't, she's going to take Tinseltown by storm.

So Liza Minelli in Star Wars makes sense on a level of "child of *different* Hollywood Royalty" sense.

It does, honestly, and is a fascinating piece of casting to contemplate.

Oh, protagonist. Sally Bowles As Princess Leia! ...eeeeyikes.

That's no moon, it's a cabaret.

[ethelmay]

Peter O'Toole in A Hundred and One Dalmatians. I think the only way you can make that interesting is to have him play Cruella.

[sovay]

I think the only way you can make that interesting is to have him play Cruella.

He could've done it.

[davidgillon]

"Cleopatra: Bedknobs and Broomsticks"

Oh dear!

[sovay]

Oh dear!

Hey, the substitionary locomotion of the Sphinx deserved its Oscar for Best Visual Effects.

[watervole]

I suppose Indy could have been hired as script consultant for a movie set in ancient Egypt or similar.


I love the idea of him having a part in the Dancing Cavalier - I rather fancy him doing fencing with Don.

[sovay]

I love the idea of him having a part in the Dancing Cavalier - I rather fancy him doing fencing with Don.

Indy as fight choreographer is also irresistible, because the entire point of fight choreography is to make it look good, which he is reliably going to short-circuit from his experience of actual fighting.

[skygiants]

There must have been an episode of Young Indiana Jones in which he infiltrates Hollywood -- if he could hobnob with Wilfred Owens and Siegfried Sassoon, I see no reason he shouldn't also get a walk-on part in an early adaptation of The Lost World.

[sovay]

if he could hobnob with Wilfred Owens and Siegfried Sassoon, I see no reason he shouldn't also get a walk-on part in an early adaptation of The Lost World.

Wait, what?

[rinue]

Joining the chorus of people who would read this fanfic

[sovay]

Joining the chorus of people who would read this fanfic

I also want to read it! I just don't want to have to write it first!

[selkie]

Oh, I know I’m late, but I’m waiting for the bison to go to sleep and I am compelled to share Ein Film Von Fritz Lang und Steven Spielberg: Indiana Jones in dem Millionen-Acre Stadt Metropolis.

[sovay]

Oh, I know I’m late, but I’m waiting for the bison to go to sleep and I am compelled to share Ein Film Von Fritz Lang und Steven Spielberg: Indiana Jones in dem Millionen-Acre Stadt Metropolis.

*buys popcorn*