Like ghosts appear in cigarette smoke

[sovay]

After careful perusal of box-office figures for 1981, we have determined that my answer to that data-scraping meme in which the main character of the number-one film of the year in which you were born is now starring in the first movie you ever saw is Indiana Jones and the Dancing Cavalier. Since spatch informs me that Indy was canonically born in 1899, he would be in his late twenties for the events of Singin' in the Rain (1952) and since I find it funnier to interpret this meme as a crossover rather than a substitution, I am now trying to figure out what archaeological mishegos he could be perpetrating in Hollywood that would bring him into contact with Cosmo, Kathy, and Don—and whether, depending on the nature of the mishegos and the timeline of his tenure at Marshall College, he could have Marcus with him. Inevitably, some producer is going to offer him a contract to star in an adventure serial.

Comments

[sholio]

That actually sounds like a really fun movie. I'd watch it.

Having looked up box office figures and wracked my brains, I'm still not sure about the first movie I ever saw, but going with the first one I have a distinct memory of watching, I think we've got Rocky starring in Star Trek III. I'm not even sure where you'd go with that. Illicit Starfleet underground boxing ring?

[minoanmiss]

*contemplates this gloriousness*

[thedarlingone]

...I get Top Gun and Mary Poppins. I don't even know what to do with that.

[shewhomust]

I would totally watch this.

Due to my advanced age, I get the Roman hero of Quo Vadis in an unidentified Norman Wisdom vehicle: I'm not saying it couldn't be done, but I don't see why it should be ...

[thisbluespirit]

Oh, well, I was born in 1977, so I give myself no prizes for guessing the top rated box office hit! First film I ever watched, though - how does anyone know that?

The first film I remember watching any part of was some old black and white film and I saw a scene where there was a poisoned Christmas cake and it was supposed to be funny and I was horrified and am still a bit traumatised from it and have weird poisoned-food related squicks. (I've described this as best as I can to people and best guess is that it might have been Kind Hearts and Coronets, but generally God Only Knows. Maybe it was some old comedy series. I remember it in b&w, but tbh, our TV was b&w at the time.) But since I'm pretty sure I only saw part of it while waiting to go out somewhere, I don't think it'd count anyway.

Otherwise, that I can remember, probably Anne of a Thousand Days with my Mum, who liked watching sad historical dramas, and I liked history, or Carry On Henry, and probably the latter, because I was small enough that Mum and Dad were both amused and guilty that I loved it so much & they'd let me watch it. (It does seem unlikely, though, that I never saw any children's films. But I can only remember watching TV.)

But on balance, I think Luke Skywalker is probably now in Carry on Henry and, honestly, I'm not sure it would make much difference. To the Carry On crew, I mean. Obviously, Luke would be very confused and fail to get proper Jedi training.

ETA: Excuse all the edits. Yours sounds fabulous, though, I meant to say. I would definitely watch it! XD

[moon_custafer]

Wait, I think I reversed this—- the first film I can recall seeing was Raggedy Anne and Andy and the top picture the year I was born was Towering Inferno, so I pictured myself as a talking, singing rag doll in a flaming skyscraper, but if it’s *protagonist* from the top film in the plot of the first one you saw… I guess I’m a structural engineer on a quest through a surreal animated landscape where my most nightmarish antagonist is an ocean of sentient taffy?

[handful_ofdust]

Going by the top movie in 1968, Funny Girl is apparently now a cross-species animated film in which Fanny Brice is played by Lady Cluck and romanced by (of course) Disney's Robin Hood.

[movingfinger]

Maybe Indy is in Hollywood consulting on a sword-and-sandals epic? The studio is trying to get ahead of audience fatigue with sheiks, but exotic locations sell! His advice will, naturally, be ignored where inconvenient and he will, naturally, be annoyed.

The Internet says Swiss Family Robinson was the top-grossing film of my year of birth, but if the lead character is the father, Mary Poppins becomes a very different movie. However, The Apartment (1960) won Best Picture in 1961, and Mary Poppins starring Jack Lemmon would be amazing, building on his fantastic performance as Daphne in Some Like It Hot.

[julian]

a) *Good* crossover. Plz yes Marcus. (But not Marion?)

b) The #1 movie the year I was born is The Exorcist, but the #1 movie the *week* I was born was Cabaret. Technically, the first movie I ever saw was Bambi (because my parents wanted to introduce me to movies with a less overwhelming movie than Star Wars... um, oops?), but the first one I *remember* was Star Wars. So Liza Minelli in Star Wars makes sense on a level of "child of *different* Hollywood Royalty" sense.

ETA: Oh, protagonist. Sally Bowles As Princess Leia! ...eeeeyikes.

[ethelmay]

Peter O'Toole in A Hundred and One Dalmatians. I think the only way you can make that interesting is to have him play Cruella.

[davidgillon]

"Cleopatra: Bedknobs and Broomsticks"

Oh dear!

[watervole]

I suppose Indy could have been hired as script consultant for a movie set in ancient Egypt or similar.


I love the idea of him having a part in the Dancing Cavalier - I rather fancy him doing fencing with Don.

[skygiants]

There must have been an episode of Young Indiana Jones in which he infiltrates Hollywood -- if he could hobnob with Wilfred Owens and Siegfried Sassoon, I see no reason he shouldn't also get a walk-on part in an early adaptation of The Lost World.

[rinue]

Joining the chorus of people who would read this fanfic

[selkie]

Oh, I know I’m late, but I’m waiting for the bison to go to sleep and I am compelled to share Ein Film Von Fritz Lang und Steven Spielberg: Indiana Jones in dem Millionen-Acre Stadt Metropolis.