sovay: (Sovay: David Owen)
sovay ([personal profile] sovay) wrote2019-04-17 01:30 am

Must be lonely, being angry, feeling overlooked

So the Somerville Theatre has a gender-neutral restroom. It's on the first floor, right past the main house; it was part of the original women's lounge when the theater was built in 1914, got converted into an additional men's room during the renovations in the '90's, two years ago was reclassified gender-neutral with the sign beside the door to prove it. I am sometimes in this restroom. The other night I am in this restroom and in the next stall a guy is talking on his phone, which is already a strike against him even before I process what he's complaining about: "I just don't know why girls would want to be let into the men's room. Like, are they trans, are they perverts?" At this point my brain occasioned a slight record scratch—perverts? Dude, are you in 1963?—and I failed to open my mouth and startle him by reminding him that he could always use the actual men's room downstairs if he felt threatened by non-men using the toilets around him, since nothing about the layout of the Somerville Theatre legally obligates a dude to use the gender-neutral restroom. I feel bad about not startling him. It would have been morally good for him and maybe he would have dropped his phone down the john. But I didn't, so it's three days days later and I am still annoyed with him for his fundamental misreading of concepts of public space. The gender-neutral restroom is not some inherently male space that women are forcing their way into. "Gender-neutral" doesn't mean "men-plus," as if it were one of the languages where a mixed group always defaults to the masculine gender. I suppose it's illuminating that he thinks so and that he's territorial about it. But the concept isn't new and neither is the sign on this particular restroom and I hope nothing went right with that guy for the rest of his night.

To end on a nicer note, because I have to try to sleep somehow: I walked around this afternoon and took pictures. I got flowering trees, fire escapes, rubble heaps. Here's a steep angle on the Knights of Malta Hall, across the street from the ex-warehouse. The colors came out the way they looked.

gwynnega: (Barry Ryan)

[personal profile] gwynnega 2019-04-17 05:54 am (UTC)(link)
Sheesh. I really hate when people use phones in restrooms, and perverts does seem bizarrely retro as well as clueless.
spatch: [cranky dude on phone] (J. Arthur Crank)

[personal profile] spatch 2019-04-17 06:42 am (UTC)(link)
An occasional trend I've noticed at the theater is men using their phones while at the urinal. It's not only creepy and fraught with the danger of dropping the phone (or neglecting one's aim) but it's downright rude when there's a line. I just don't get it.
sandrylene: Scott Pilgrim generator based pic of me (Default)

[personal profile] sandrylene 2019-04-17 02:28 pm (UTC)(link)
I realize as I get older I should attempt to be tolerant, etc, but honestly humanity has not been able to stop me from just believing firmly that some people are just assholes. Maybe with a cluebat to the forehead they could be redeemable, but by default they just seem to be carelessly sauntering down Asshole Avenue and will never stop to reflect why all the people they pass there are continually bumping into them with their elbows at rib level.

Anyhow. I don't understand why the world is full of people who are convinced people are really, really interested in watching others pee (in as much as you can even do that in a normal restroom anyhow) rather than that they are just finding a restroom that matches their gender identification useful. Sigh. Unfortunately, as you probably already know, people.
kenjari: (Default)

[personal profile] kenjari 2019-04-17 03:14 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't understand why the world is full of people who are convinced people are really, really interested in watching others pee

Exactly. Most of the time, my self-consciousness and shyness motivate me to pretend really hard that there is no one else in the restroom with me at all. The other people in there and their personal plumbing are the absolutely last things I want to think about.
Edited 2019-04-17 15:28 (UTC)
gwynnega: (Default)

[personal profile] gwynnega 2019-04-17 05:54 am (UTC)(link)
That is a great photo.
julian: Picture of the sign for Julian Street. (Default)

[personal profile] julian 2019-04-17 06:06 am (UTC)(link)
That translates to me as if he didn't know the theater before the 90s, but has known it since and is slow to change, as many people are, so still thinks of that restroom as a male restroom and his turf. (Neither of which are true, of course, and it's not like he could treat, for example, a former coffee shop as a coffee shop if it has been turned into an absinthe bar. When a location changes, it changes.)

I sigh at him.

(Oh, nice picture! That's such a vibrant addition to the post. Thank you.)
julian: Picture of the sign for Julian Street. (Default)

[personal profile] julian 2019-04-17 04:32 pm (UTC)(link)
"Don't order absinthe and then complain about its failure to be cappuccino."


But I'm mostly commenting just to ask -- why are you worried about the Knights of Malta building?
julian: Picture of the sign for Julian Street. (Default)

[personal profile] julian 2019-04-17 05:13 pm (UTC)(link)
Thought that might be it, but figured there might be other reasons, like sub rosa extended warfare over neighborhood zoning issues.

I will hope that the GLX doesn't overswim its banks again, because that brickwork needs to survive.
thisbluespirit: (Default)

[personal profile] thisbluespirit 2019-04-17 07:56 am (UTC)(link)
It's a great photo!

(The guy in the stall on the phone does not compare. <3)
shewhomust: (ayesha)

[personal profile] shewhomust 2019-04-17 09:40 am (UTC)(link)
I just don't know why girls would want to be let into the men's room...

Ignoring everything else that is wrong with this, has this guy never SEEN the queue for the ladies' room?
sporky_rat: Marc Antony. Text: Gods grant me the strength not to murder them all and eat their livers. (EAT THEIR LIVERS OMG!!!1111)

[personal profile] sporky_rat 2019-04-17 01:34 pm (UTC)(link)
It's always out the door. Everywhere.

(I finally figured out how to use a urinal without touching it for this exact reason.)
isis: (twice the woman)

[personal profile] isis 2019-04-17 01:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Haha seriously.
owl: (john2)

[personal profile] owl 2019-04-17 11:36 pm (UTC)(link)
That happens at tech conferences too.
sartorias: (Default)

[personal profile] sartorias 2019-04-17 01:20 pm (UTC)(link)
You're probably better off not having spoken. A man that entitled and clueless would be more than likely to react to a female voice in a highly unpleasant manner--and still manage not to take the message.
selkie: (Default)

[personal profile] selkie 2019-04-17 01:31 pm (UTC)(link)
First of all, ew. Ew on the most basic 'you don't know where that's been' level. Parenting has made me change my stance on talking in public washrooms, but only so far as 'Vocally confirm with me, independence-aged child, that you have not wandered off to Guam under cover of the blower dryers.' Otherwise there is a fourth wall. A fourth wall, dammit.


Second of all, ew. Vengeful theatre ghosts should have accosted him at some less fraught point in his evening and stuck his tie in his gelato.
sporky_rat: XKCD's Internet Map showing Dreamwidth, with a Dreamwidth D Spiral. Text:  'This is my home'. (Default)

[personal profile] sporky_rat 2019-04-17 01:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Or asking if the other stall has paper, but that's it.
batdina: six stuffed bears in bright colors (rainbow bears)

[personal profile] batdina 2019-04-17 05:52 pm (UTC)(link)
once upon a time at Grateful Dead concerts, I used the men's room as a matter of course. (Have you seen the lines, etc. from above.) Not a single person in there ever complained about my presence. And I'm talking venues all over North America here, not just California.

I'm suddenly overwhelmed with nostalgia and affection for the 1980s. And that's just WRONG.
pameladean: (Default)

[personal profile] pameladean 2019-04-17 08:28 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, that building is just excellent!

That GUY, on the other hand, ugh.

asakiyume: (aquaman is sad)

[personal profile] asakiyume 2019-04-19 04:04 pm (UTC)(link)
That guy! USE THE OTHER RESTROOM IF YOU'RE SUCH A TESTICLE-CLUTCHING BIGOT, sheesh! Protect him from the lascivious eyes of all those lecherous wimmins omg!

(Beautiful photo)