Must be lonely, being angry, feeling overlooked

[sovay]

So the Somerville Theatre has a gender-neutral restroom. It's on the first floor, right past the main house; it was part of the original women's lounge when the theater was built in 1914, got converted into an additional men's room during the renovations in the '90's, two years ago was reclassified gender-neutral with the sign beside the door to prove it. I am sometimes in this restroom. The other night I am in this restroom and in the next stall a guy is talking on his phone, which is already a strike against him even before I process what he's complaining about: "I just don't know why girls would want to be let into the men's room. Like, are they trans, are they perverts?" At this point my brain occasioned a slight record scratch—perverts? Dude, are you in 1963?—and I failed to open my mouth and startle him by reminding him that he could always use the actual men's room downstairs if he felt threatened by non-men using the toilets around him, since nothing about the layout of the Somerville Theatre legally obligates a dude to use the gender-neutral restroom. I feel bad about not startling him. It would have been morally good for him and maybe he would have dropped his phone down the john. But I didn't, so it's three days days later and I am still annoyed with him for his fundamental misreading of concepts of public space. The gender-neutral restroom is not some inherently male space that women are forcing their way into. "Gender-neutral" doesn't mean "men-plus," as if it were one of the languages where a mixed group always defaults to the masculine gender. I suppose it's illuminating that he thinks so and that he's territorial about it. But the concept isn't new and neither is the sign on this particular restroom and I hope nothing went right with that guy for the rest of his night.

To end on a nicer note, because I have to try to sleep somehow: I walked around this afternoon and took pictures. I got flowering trees, fire escapes, rubble heaps. Here's a steep angle on the Knights of Malta Hall, across the street from the ex-warehouse. The colors came out the way they looked.

Comments

[gwynnega]

Sheesh. I really hate when people use phones in restrooms, and perverts does seem bizarrely retro as well as clueless.

[gwynnega]

That is a great photo.

[julian]

That translates to me as if he didn't know the theater before the 90s, but has known it since and is slow to change, as many people are, so still thinks of that restroom as a male restroom and his turf. (Neither of which are true, of course, and it's not like he could treat, for example, a former coffee shop as a coffee shop if it has been turned into an absinthe bar. When a location changes, it changes.)

I sigh at him.

(Oh, nice picture! That's such a vibrant addition to the post. Thank you.)

[thisbluespirit]

It's a great photo!


(The guy in the stall on the phone does not compare. <3)

[shewhomust]

I just don't know why girls would want to be let into the men's room...

Ignoring everything else that is wrong with this, has this guy never SEEN the queue for the ladies' room?

[sartorias]

You're probably better off not having spoken. A man that entitled and clueless would be more than likely to react to a female voice in a highly unpleasant manner--and still manage not to take the message.

[selkie]

First of all, ew. Ew on the most basic 'you don't know where that's been' level. Parenting has made me change my stance on talking in public washrooms, but only so far as 'Vocally confirm with me, independence-aged child, that you have not wandered off to Guam under cover of the blower dryers.' Otherwise there is a fourth wall. A fourth wall, dammit.

Guh.

Second of all, ew. Vengeful theatre ghosts should have accosted him at some less fraught point in his evening and stuck his tie in his gelato.

[batdina]

once upon a time at Grateful Dead concerts, I used the men's room as a matter of course. (Have you seen the lines, etc. from above.) Not a single person in there ever complained about my presence. And I'm talking venues all over North America here, not just California.

I'm suddenly overwhelmed with nostalgia and affection for the 1980s. And that's just WRONG.

[pameladean]

Oh, that building is just excellent!

That GUY, on the other hand, ugh.

P.

[asakiyume]

That guy! USE THE OTHER RESTROOM IF YOU'RE SUCH A TESTICLE-CLUTCHING BIGOT, sheesh! Protect him from the lascivious eyes of all those lecherous wimmins omg!

(Beautiful photo)