And they'll coach you in the classroom that it cannot happen here, but it has happened here

[sovay]

I didn't realize how much I had existentially relaxed in the last eight years—how much having Obama in office made me feel safer on some unnoticed level, because I knew the world was getting better in ways that mattered deeply, no matter the turmoil and backlash of working out the routes and means. I thought I could expect it to keep getting better. My low-bar, minimum-clearance definition of better was apparently so terrifying and repugnant to more than half the country I live in that they killed it. Now I don't feel safe and neither do most of the people I love and I know I will have to find ways to fight for them, because the alternative is not acceptable to me (nor would it make me safer: I am not in the demographic of America Trump promises to make great again), but it feels exhausting even to contemplate and any fight of this kind will take the most resources from the people who already have the least to spare. Right now I cannot imagine relaxing again and I spent most of my adulthood working to convince myself that this world was a good place to stay in; now I feel it would be irresponsible to leave it, but I don't expect to enjoy it. This is the tension of the Bush years. Worse, in fact, because then I thought we must have hit rock bottom, surely we must recover, if we just don't blow up the planet there cannot be farther to fall. This is not how I had hoped to feel by today. I don't believe in miracles, but an improbability would have really been nice.

Comments

[kore]

Yeah, I remember on election night 2008, when people were out actually dancing in the streets, looking up at a flag flying from a downtown skyscraper and suddenly feeling -- like it was my flag again, sort of, like I belonged in the country again, like it was a place I could be again.

Now it just feels like the past eight years have been wiped away and we're heading towards....I don't even know. A dark nightmare.

[davidgillon]

{Hugs}, and {strength}

[cyphomandra]

I'm so sorry. Realising so many people think this is a good idea is horrible.

[dhampyresa]

I'm really sorry. *hugs*

[nineweaving.livejournal.com]

No worst, there is none.

Nine

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

tears just keep jumping out of my eyes at this bad dream that there's no waking up from.

I'm proud of everyone I know, people who work to make room for others, who are welcoming, who offer food and warmth to the hungry and cold. Going to just keep pressing in that direction, trying to live up to, and for, and like these friends of mine.

[heliopausa.livejournal.com]

I'm very sorry; I hope positives start to emerge soon.

[schreibergasse.livejournal.com]

The habit-forming pain,
Mismanagement and grief:
We must suffer them all again.

[ladymondegreen.livejournal.com]

I an here, feeling much the same, but also, a sense of purpose. We were always afraid of something like this. Parts of our brains have been preparing us for it since we first listened to the stories from the past that told us to always be vigilant.

I -am- scared, but I also want to stay and fight. To put this right. If we all do it, maybe we can make a difference. I've already lived the life of an exile once, I'd rather not have to do it again.

*sending you strength*

[yamamanama.livejournal.com]

I'm so disconsolate I can't even cry.

[teenybuffalo.livejournal.com]

My low-bar, minimum-clearance definition of better was apparently so terrifying and repugnant to more than half the country I live in that they killed it.

This. For myself, I don't know what to say except that I agree with every idea you've expressed here.

[ashlyme.livejournal.com]

*big hugs* I am so sorry. I hoped at least one of our countries might stay free of this nightmare.

[gwynnega]

I am barely articulate today. I had hoped against hope for a better outcome for all of us.

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

Yes. I was remarkably unworried – I'd been following the polls pretty closely, and they all looked so promising. And yet here we are today.