I'm very grateful that you didn't accidentally take out former Soviet military bases in a misguided attempt to cook hot dogs--your caution is admirable!

The tinker at the NORAD recycling center is also to be commended, but are we sure it used microwaves. Check recent papers for headlines about Area Apartment as Source of Hitherto Unidentified Cosmic Radiation.

... perhaps it can be re-repurposed to heat the place if your ordinary heat supply fails.

I should add that our microwave--which was a wedding present--uses a rotary dial. It takes a long time to do anything other than reheat leftovers.