After killing Jason off and countless screaming Argonauts

[sovay]

And tonight rushthatspeaks and I were having a perfectly lovely time making hamburgers right up until the moment the microwave caught fire.

We're fine. The microwave is kaput. We still aren't quite sure what happened, except that it was set on a two-minute timer, there was nothing in it, and all of a sudden it poured smoke and smelled like an electrical fire, which I presume was actually what happened. We opened all the windows and turned on all the fans and tried not to breathe the smell of melting plastics. The microwave is no longer pouring smoke; it is unplugged and gaudior has been cautioned not to use it for God's sake when they get home.

The hamburgers came out great. We cooked them in a frying pan and ate them in layers on Portuguese sweet bread with avocado slices, the last of the goat's milk gouda, and homemade spicy mayo. It turns out that if you don't have Worcestershire sauce to mix with the ground beef and instead substitute a few drops of garum, the result is a hamburger that tastes indefinably better in all directions. This was not my planned first use of an ancient Roman condiment, but on reflection I feel it was almost certainly appropriate.

I admit I would have enjoyed eating dinner on the relaxed schedule we had imagined, instead of the aftermath of a kitchen filled with chemical smoke. I know the universe has laws of conservation of perversity, but it would be fine with me if the rest of the night did nothing exciting at all.

Comments

[umadoshi]

Yikes! I'm glad you're both okay. How weird and scary!

[sovay]

I'm glad you're both okay. How weird and scary!

Thank you! Your icon is an excellent expression of the situation.

[tam_nonlinear]

Eek on the electrical fire. While there is a history of danger involved in trying new foods, it is usually because the food was of unknown toxicity or still alive enough to argue about consumption, not because an indirectly related appliance decided to immolate itself. Hope things are calmer today. Also, your title makes me smile every time I read it. Love that song.

[sovay]

While there is a history of danger involved in trying new foods, it is usually because the food was of unknown toxicity or still alive enough to argue about consumption, not because an indirectly related appliance decided to immolate itself.

Exactly! Who asked the microwave to put in its oar, anyway?

Also, your title makes me smile every time I read it. Love that song.

It occurred to me shortly after the pouring-smoke stage and has been stuck in my head ever since . . .

[genarti]

Sweet merciful heavens. That certainly would enliven an evening! I'm glad the hamburgers weren't ruined, and nor was your enjoyment of them. (They sound like truly excellent hamburger concoctions, too.)

[sovay]

I'm glad the hamburgers weren't ruined, and nor was your enjoyment of them.

Thank you! We were very relieved. There was a point where we were trying to make sure the hamburgers were still all right, but of course neither of us could smell anything other than burnt microwave.

[kate_nepveu]

Not actually your friend, that microwave.

Glad you both are okay!

[sovay]

Not actually your friend, that microwave.

Thank you! Seriously.

[alexx-kay.livejournal.com]

If you only thought you had it on a timer, but in fact it was microwaving while empty, that can lead to Inappropriate Fire.

[sovay]

If you only thought you had it on a timer, but in fact it was microwaving while empty, that can lead to Inappropriate Fire.

I asked about that, because my first thought was that I'd killed it, but rushthatspeaks thought that hadn't happened. I've occasionally dialed this microwave wrong and turned it off after a few seconds on realizing my mistake, but at none of these instances has it poured smoke. It wouldn't have been on for more than about thirty seconds either way. [edit] Rush also points out that the age of the microwave is unknown; I thought my cousins had brought it when they moved from Texas, but apparently it came with the apartment.

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

I ... did not know that.

**files information away for future safety**

[alexx-kay.livejournal.com]

If you for some reason *want* to run a microwave with no food in it (say, as a test), the recommended procedure is to place a container full of water inside.

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

Noted!

I had never thought about it--I've never wanted to do it--but I could well imagine that it's the sort of thing I might do accidentally or without thinking. Now I know.

[nineweaving.livejournal.com]

Yikes! Glad both of you are unasphyxiated.

The burgers sound fabulous.

Nine

[sovay]

Yikes! Glad both of you are unasphyxiated.

The kitchen has two windows! We could invite a crossbreeze!

The burgers sound fabulous.

I helped my parents with their Christmas tree; my father presented me with ground beef afterward. It worked out well.

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

Truly weirdly coincidentally, this afternoon when I went to drop presents off at my brother's house, he told me about how his microwave (which is set into the wall) had died.

if the universe were Asakiyume-centered, today would be Discuss the Death of Microwaves day.

The hamburgers sound excellent.

[sovay]

if the universe were Asakiyume-centered, today would be Discuss the Death of Microwaves day.

"And tell sad stories of the deaths of microwaves . . ."

The hamburgers sound excellent.

They were still impressively good after the exhausting debacle with the microwave, which I think speaks well in their favor.

the Great Lacuna

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

"And tell sad stories of the deaths of microwaves . . ."

"Physicists still argue about the Great Lacuna the electromagnetic spectrum. It's only legend that says that once, in some immeasurably distant past, the spectrum was truly continuous. Different cultures have different explanations for the Great Lacuna. There's the tale from Greek mythology of Eros and Psyche--that Psyche's beauty vibrated at the exact wavelength that would fill the Great Lacuna, and that Aphrodite, in envy, stripped those wavelengths from the spectrum. Or there's the story from Japanese myth of one of Susanoo's many attempts to kill Okuninushi, by summoning many small demons by beating a drum at a certain rhythm. Okuninushi's ally the once-flayed hare kicked the drum to pieces and broke Susanoo's hands, since which time he was never able to beat at that tempo again--and thus the Great Lacuna was created."

Re: the Great Lacuna

[sovay]

There's the tale from Greek mythology of Eros and Psyche--that Psyche's beauty vibrated at the exact wavelength that would fill the Great Lacuna, and that Aphrodite, in envy, stripped those wavelengths from the spectrum. Or there's the story from Japanese myth of one of Susanoo's many attempts to kill Okuninushi, by summoning many small demons by beating a drum at a certain rhythm. Okuninushi's ally the once-flayed hare kicked the drum to pieces and broke Susanoo's hands, since which time he was never able to beat at that tempo again--and thus the Great Lacuna was created.

You are brilliant.

Re: the Great Lacuna

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

Only when I have brilliant companions who inspire things.

It's great when things spark. Not when the sparks create acrid smoke, but, y'know, otherwise.

Re: the Great Lacuna

[nineweaving.livejournal.com]

Physicists still argue about the Great Lacuna the electromagnetic spectrum.

On a less glorious level, I thought of Mort, and the Death of Microwaves.

Nine

Re: the Great Lacuna

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

Oh I don't know--that's pretty glorious, I'd say :-)

Re: the Great Lacuna

[cucumberseed.livejournal.com]

That's amazing.

Also, there is a once-flayed hare in Japanese Mythology?

Re: the Great Lacuna

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

There is: Okuninushi saved it and gave it new fur from cattails--a very cucumberseed sort of story, which I learned about not from my studies in grad school but from Wikipedia: Okuninushi.

Re: the Great Lacuna

[sovay]

Okuninushi saved it and gave it new fur from cattails--a very cucumberseed sort of story

Seriously!

[desperance.livejournal.com]

I was just reading twenty minutes ago how the Khmers still use something - prahok - which is remarkably similar to garum...

[sovay]

I was just reading twenty minutes ago how the Khmers still use something - prahok - which is remarkably similar to garum...

I have just looked it up and it sounds delicious to me!

[gwynnega]

I'm glad you're fine, though the microwave is not. Less spectacularly, tonight I managed to burn my hand on some hot eggnog! (It feels better now.)

[sovay]

Less spectacularly, tonight I managed to burn my hand on some hot eggnog! (It feels better now.)

Yikes! What?

[gwynnega]

I was pouring heated eggnog from a saucepan into a cup, and I spilled a bit and splashed my hand. Fortunately it mostly stopped hurting after about an hour!

[sovay]

Fortunately it mostly stopped hurting after about an hour!

Glad to hear it!

[ladymondegreen.livejournal.com]

Apparently a lot of microwaves came spontaneously into being all at once and the old ones are throwing themselves to their pyres to maintain balance. Which is to say, you are the second person I know to have a spontaneously firey microwave this weekend (the other was a childhood friend in Canada).

I'm glad you are all unscorched and dinner sounds marvelous.

[sovay]

Which is to say, you are the second person I know to have a spontaneously firey microwave this weekend (the other was a childhood friend in Canada).

Dammit! Is this a solstitial thing?

I'm glad you are all unscorched and dinner sounds marvelous.

Thank you! It did not turn into a kitchen fire, for which we were both grateful.

[cucumberseed.livejournal.com]

I cast my suspicious eye to old Uncle Sparky, who is 30 years old...

[sovay]

I cast my suspicious eye to old Uncle Sparky, who is 30 years old...

That is like the Methuselah of microwaves. I am in awe.

[drwex]

Glad everyone is OK. I was thinking "oh, nice TMBG reference" then I saw your Music annotation. It's still a good song after all these years/listens.

[sovay]

Glad everyone is OK.

Thank you.

I was thinking "oh, nice TMBG reference" then I saw your Music annotation. It's still a good song after all these years/listens.

It's been stuck in my head since last night . . .

[moon-custafer.livejournal.com]

this was not my planned first use of an ancient Roman condiment

I'm sure it's what the Romans would have done, faced with ground or chopped meat.

[sovay]

I'm sure it's what the Romans would have done, faced with ground or chopped meat.

That was pretty much my theory. I have trouble finding a foodstuff they wouldn't put garum on or in.