Watching storms start to form over America
Today I paid my taxes and buried my umbrella. It was free from the World Wildlife Foundation, but I expected it to last more than a month. Having already cracked from the stress of the wind on my way to the post office, it snapped in half and blew inside out as I walked back from my dentist's appointment. After that it was a beautiful piece of conceptual art and absolutely no use at keeping off the rain: I gave it a state funeral in the trash can outside the Au Bon Pain on Cambridge Street. It had a wooden shaft, black metal struts, and a blue-and-white design of pandas. I felt bad for the pandas, but I think "decorative" is the least endangered species. I am told it's going to snow tonight.
ALL RIGHT, NEW ENGLAND, YOU CAN STOP NOW.
ALL RIGHT, NEW ENGLAND, YOU CAN STOP NOW.

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