Just, you know, stuck in among the zinnias

[sovay]

So my mother brought home this plant. She found it in Stop & Shop. It was the only one of its kind. We have no idea what it is. I thought at first it was a mother-in-law's tongue, but the flower is all wrong; it's not any of the snake plants, or at least none that I know; it has a label and the label reads "Manager's Special." I am having Little Shop of Horrors flashbacks like you wouldn't believe.

These are better pictures of an appallingly cluttered table than of the plant, but you get the idea.







It is probably something quite ordinary, but I'll hear suggestions . . .

Meanwhile, I am still sick. It's some kind of head cold; my ears hurt so much, I haven't been able to talk on the phone. Today was mostly comprised of running some errands, watching two more episodes of Foyle's War (which won points with me for involving, respectively, the Special Operations Executive and Archibald McIndoe), and realizing to my horror that I can still write up thumbnail descriptions of characters in the Belgariad and Mallorean despite avoiding those books in all substantive ways since middle school. I hadn't even remembered liking Sadi. My brain.

Comments

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

The bloom does seem set to overwhelm the foliage, doesn't it?

I'm glad your mother rescued it--there's something so sad about a plant being reduced to a sale item!

(and what does the placemat it's sitting on show? I see cookies, a candy in a cellophane wrapper, bread sticks... a walnut...

intriguing.)

[sovay]

I'm glad your mother rescued it--there's something so sad about a plant being reduced to a sale item!

I'm quite glad to have it in the house! I just wish the circumstances of its arrival had been a little less reminiscent of Audrey II.

and what does the placemat it's sitting on show? I see cookies, a candy in a cellophane wrapper, bread sticks... a walnut...

It's not a placemat: the plant was on top of a stack of books, topmost Jane Donovan's The Miniature Book of Cookies (1991). You can't particularly see it in this photograph, but the book underneath is Desmond Tate's Tropical Fruit (2001), which I truly recommend—it's illustrated in watercolors like a nineteenth-century natural history, but it includes recipes. And fruits I'd never heard of, like bael fruit, chempedak, and langsat.

[eredien]

My mom had one of these in a pot for like 2 zillion years until our cat ate it. I believe they are poisonous to cats (our cat was fine).

It's a bromeliad, probably a Vriesea. Here, I found an online "bromeliad identifier for dummies."

My entirely unscientific suggestion after doing a search?
- Holy cow, lots of bromeliads out there.
- it will probably die after it flowers but they shoot off things before they die like a spider plant (read about it because the shoots come from different places).
- Water it by pouring water in the middle of its leaves, not around the base of the plant.

Desmond Tate's Tropical Fruit (2001)

I read this as "Desmond Tutu's Tropical Fruit."

[cucumberseed.livejournal.com]

(Beat me to it)

[sovay]

It's a bromeliad, probably a Vriesea.

Thank you!

Here, I found an online "bromeliad identifier for dummies."

You rock a lot. Hee.

I read this as "Desmond Tutu's Tropical Fruit."

I want to see that illustrated by Kate Beaton.

[whiskeychick.livejournal.com]

beat me to it, too!

behold the langsat

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

bael fruit, chempedak, and langsat

fruit names that look like spelling mistakes :D

[vr-trakowski.livejournal.com]

The flower looks almost like ornamental ginger, but I don't know about the leaves...

[sovay]

The flower looks almost like ornamental ginger, but I don't know about the leaves...

The leaves don't match, but I agree about the flower.

[nineweaving.livejournal.com]

I think my mother has one of those, but damned if I know what it is. I like the tigerish leaves. Succulent!

Condolences on the awful cold.

Nine

[nineweaving.livejournal.com]

An aloe of sorts? Except it's not prickly...

Aloe, agave, asphodel...

Nine

[sovay]

An aloe of sorts? Except it's not prickly...

And the leaves aren't fleshy, which takes out all three. You can see in the second photograph, they're thin and stiff, sort of like laminated paper.

[papersky.livejournal.com]

FEEEEEEED MEEEEEEEE!

My ex-mother-in-law has one about twice that size that she's had since 1948, and there's a giant one (nine foot tall) in a greenhouse in Roath Park in Cardiff. As for what it is, well, I do believe it's a nondescript.

[sovay]

My ex-mother-in-law has one about twice that size that she's had since 1948, and there's a giant one (nine foot tall) in a greenhouse in Roath Park in Cardiff.

All right, that sounds terrifying.

[stealthmuffin.livejournal.com]

Have you got a spare dentist you can feed it, just to check?

...and now I'm going to have the entire soundtrack stuck in my head all day. Not that that's a bad thing.

[sovay]

Have you got a spare dentist you can feed it, just to check?

Unfortunately, I rather like my current dentist. But I could keep an eye out this afternoon.

...and now I'm going to have the entire soundtrack stuck in my head all day. Not that that's a bad thing.

Perhaps that's its evil plan. It would be a very effective method of distracting people.

[cucumberseed.livejournal.com]

darkpaisley says it's a Bromleiad ...Vriesea Splendens (a.k.a. FLAMING SWORD). Bromleiads like lots of direct sunlight. During growing season, you want to keep the tube bit of center of the plant full of water. During the winter, just don't let it dry out. It's from Venezuela.
(She's got her books spread out around her and singing "plants are cool!")

[sovay]

darkpaisley says it's a Bromleiad ...Vriesea Splendens (a.k.a. FLAMING SWORD).

Thank you! Tell darkpaisley she's awesome.

It's from Venezuela.

And it ended up in Stop & Shop . . .

[ericmvan.livejournal.com]

And it ended up in Stop & Shop . . .

They really dropped the ball on this one; if they'd waited until it spouted the spectacular red flower they could have probably gotten $3.99 for it.

[ericmvan.livejournal.com]

Or rather (as I see now in the second picture), did they simply have to wait a few days until the flower developed further? Or is yours just not as good a version as the one at http://fcbs.org/images/Vriesea/vr_splendens_v_splendens_Asmuss3.jpg?

[sovay]

They really dropped the ball on this one; if they'd waited until it spouted the spectacular red flower they could have probably gotten $3.99 for it.

*snerk*

[schreibergasse.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear about the cold. [Obviously, I think Peter may have caught the same thing...]

[sovay]

[Obviously, I think Peter may have caught the same thing...]

Ergh. Yeah, rushthatspeaks tells me there's something making a tour of the East Coast; it's what they think they brought home to their housemates. I hope you can avoid it.

[gaudior.livejournal.com]

Bromeliad, shmomeliad-- it's clearly an alien. See if you can make contact and find out more about its race and their goals!

In other news, feh of sick. Feel better soon!

[sovay]

See if you can make contact and find out more about its race and their goals!

It is currently being standoffish, but I have told it I respect its culture.

In other news, feh of sick. Feel better soon!

Thank you. Likewise!

[strange-selkie.livejournal.com]

I am skeered of that plant, but I hope it brightens up the place.

Zzzz? Zzz.

[sovay]

I am skeered of that plant, but I hope it brightens up the place.

It hadn't eaten anyone obvious by morning, which I take as a good sign.

Zzzz? Zzz.

*hugs*

[strange-selkie.livejournal.com]

And you've checked all the obvious places for punctures? No one looks.... siphoned?

[ap-aelfwine.livejournal.com]

Nice looking plant, and I'm glad your mother rescued it, although I do hope it doesn't start asking for blood.

I'm sorry to hear that you're still sick and feeling so poorly with it. I hope you're feeling better very soon.

[sovay]

I hope you're feeling better very soon.

Last night, migraine. I hope it can't be blamed on the plant.

[ap-aelfwine.livejournal.com]

Last night, migraine.

Ah, that's a pity. I'm sorry to hear.

I hope it can't be blamed on the plant.

Indeed. Bhuel, I don't believe that any known variety of alien attack plant has been described as inducing migraines, so you're probably safe in assuming this is not the case. And, if it does turn out to have done such a thing to you, you'll be in a good position to do the write-up. An article in The Journal of Extraterrestrial and Extraplanar Botany is always a good thing to list on one's C.V.

Hope the rest of today is better, any road.

[4nt1g0n3.livejournal.com]

It IS a bromeliad, but I don't know what kind either. Lovely though.

[sovay]

It IS a bromeliad, but I don't know what kind either. Lovely though.

I'll post pictures if it keeps blooming.