Your beautiful pen, take the cap off

[sovay]

Peter Greenaway's The Pillow Book (1996) is the natural progression from Prospero's Books (1991), one of the most thoroughly erotic movies I have ever seen, and I would have a lot more to say about it if I hadn't found out, shortly after rushthatspeaks and I finished watching and gaudior came home, that their moving company had turned themselves into fail.

At some point in the night, I remember saying to reversepolarity, "Today has been brought to you by the numbers duct tape, boxes, and the letter what the fuck."

The move will happen and my cousins are amazing, but I stand by the description.

Comments

[strange-selkie.livejournal.com]

I really think the universe is telling them something, and that something is that only cisgender white heteronormative folk are happy where they're going.

[eredien]

only cisgender white heteronormative folk are happy where they're going.

I don't know about that: I know some non-white people, and some non-cisgendered non-heteronormative people, who live in Texas. They often seem pretty happy to me. I visited Texas in highschool, and am pretty sure I was not secretly miserable there, though I did get a miserable sunburn.

I hear that Texans have even produced non-cisgendered, non-white, non-heteronormative persons on their very own, and not all of them get exported.

Rush and Gaudior don't have to leave their souls at the border crossing, and shouldn't, and aren't planning on it--even though there's a myth that non-normative people are somehow required to, or that their souls will be leeched away gradually by normativity. From talking to them early on about my own concerns about their relocation, I came to realized that they knew before I did that they wouldn't, couldn't, and shouldn't give that up. It made me a lot more comfortable with their decision to move. (Even though I miss them more than I can say).

I understand that you are probably worried for your friends during their logistically tough move to what will be a different kind of life in a different culture, but I feel that your comment plays directly into the myth that non-normative people should not go to where they want to go, and should not do what they want to do, unless the normative people there already approve of their existence.
If we wait for that universal approval, we'll be waiting forever. If we go and do what we need to do with our lives, despite our fears and despite normativity, we might be able to have a life to live. (Which presents the possibility of letting us change at least ourselves.)

If they do wind up being unhappy there, for whatever reason, there are 49 other states--even the rest of the world. If Rush & Gaudior themselves, after moving, declare normative Texan misery and flee, I'm going to respect that: but I think it's dangerous to suggest that they ought to do so pre-emptively, simply because they're moving to a place that supposedly buys into a normative cultural myth.

[strange-selkie.livejournal.com]

Normative cultural myth my ass, I'm talking about laws that don't recognize their right to make medical decisions in extremis, share property or, should they wish it, parent nonbiological children. While I appreciate the depth and thoughtfulness of your comment and respect all your points, I wasn't tilting at windmills. I am not concerned by the figurative bully next door. I worry about the accidental fall off a ladder that leads to a hospital emergency room where one of them has no rights.

[eredien]

When I said a place that supposedly buys into a normative cultural myth, I should have been more clear. I wasn't tilting at windmills, either: what about the actual non-normative people who live in Texas and are happy, despite all that?

Of course normative cultural myth contributes to normative cultural reality (now, and in the past and future). There are ways in which that is true in Texas. There are ways in which that is true in Massachusetts. There are ways in which that is true in Saskatchewan and Tokyo and Kampala.

And one of the ways in which that normative cultural myth is currently contributing to cultural reality in Texas is the state of queer folks there: they aren't going to have those rights you listed, plus a lot of others you didn't list. The recently released Texas GOP platform is terrifying. The school curriculum does its best to eliminate anybody who's not a dead white male. I never meant to suggest that those problems weren't real or extant, or serious, because they are, very.

But I feel that when one says, "only normative people can be happy there," that's outright repeating the pre-existing cultural normative myth--which reinforces the destructive *reality* of normativity that that myth creates. It's the same as saying "non-normative people can't be happy there," which erases the actual experiences of non-normative people who already live happily there. It makes the already-difficult work of those working to change cultural perceptions and actuality of uniform normalcy even harder ("you only get to have a Gay-Straight Alliance if you call it Diversity Club, because we don't want trouble.")

Some non-normative people may choose to live in places where their personal rights are restricted explicitly so that they can help change the perceptions of what normalcy is in that place.

Don't you think that the first step in choosing to live in a place with such normative realities is coming to peace with the idea that those realities exist, that you personally will be fighting a battle against them, and that that's more than ok, but may be in fact part of what you want to do with your life in that place?

All I'm saying is: they aren't unaware of the legal, moral, or ethical problems, either their extent or their seriousness. They've had a year to think about them and research the issues while they prepared to move. And it seems like they've chosen to move there anyway.

They are even planning on being happy, but you are insisting that there is no possible way that this choice that they have made could let them do that. When you say that, you are not only reinforcing the idea that no one who is non-normative could possibly be happy in that space (an assertion that real people would disagree with), but reinforcing the idea that non-normative people shouldn't ever want to be happy in that space, and must be mad for thinking that they had a shot at being happy there--that it's a total write-off.

That, of course, is exactly what the normative people who are trying to kick folks like you and I and Rush and Gaudior out of places like Texas want us to think--that we have no ability, and certainly shouldn't have the desire, to be happy living our lives anywhere we please. I'm not going to let a bunch of close-minded bigots tell you, me and my friends that we shouldn't have the ability, right, or desire to make medical decisions, share property, have custody, or get married ALSO tell us that we don't have the ability, right or desire to be happy anywhere we damn well please. If I'm not letting them tell me that, I'm sure as hell not letting my friends tell me that.

[rushthatspeaks.livejournal.com]

you are awesome I love you thank you you are awesome

[eredien]

You're welcome, everybody.

[papersky.livejournal.com]

Thank you for saying this.

[weirdquark]

You are awesome.