These are great, I'm always here for some good character assassination! And I love "I care like a cat cares about Wednesday"--it's very true, and way classier than one of our local versions, "me chupa un huevo y la mitad del otro" / "It sucks one of my balls, and half of the other one", it's a bit like "I don't give a rat's ass"! XD And there's something really wonderful about turning a curse into a poem! <3

I have a hard time thinking of my favourites, but one of the classiest I ever heard was (almost unbelievably) in a football match context: You're slower than (the song) "Only you"! My grandma's favourite was "sad balls", and I still use that one a lot to this day! I also use "sorete en pala" (shit on a shovel), and "quita hipo" (hiccups stopper) a lot, for people with ugly/nasty behaviour. But the winner has to be one of my co-workers, who one day, in a fit of anger, loudly said "Christ's cunt!"

ETA: And, coincidentally, today's post at effinbirds_feed features a phrase I have said many times!