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Some days we are the fools getting sad and lonelier on contact
This afternoon saw the maiden flight of Stripey the Fourteenth, the Sun Monarch, almost certainly later sighted making a royal progress of the back yard. It was the last of this summer's hatching. We wish them well in their migration and hope to see their children in the spring.
After several weeks of intense nightmares, I appreciated last night's break in the form of a film by Ulrike Ottinger. Technically I just had dreams set in South and East Asia, some in the mountains, some on ships, with an almost all-female cast and a spectacular costume budget, but you see how metaphysically she should have been directing. I feel as though I did not sleep long enough for the plot to set, but the atmosphere was nice.
I find it interesting that I still dream in films when I have watched three movies and three and a half pieces of television in the last two and a half months, not counting the one TV serial which was a rewatch. It has been logistically more difficult for me to watch anything here than in my former apartment, but there also seems to have been some kind of actual, stamina-based block. I didn't just watch fewer things, I watched them across multiple nights even when they didn't have multiple parts. In the last week and change, my ability to watch things has begun to behave as though it is cautiously reviving, but I don't want to jinx it, especially since I'm not sure what factor of illness or stress or exhaustion governed its disappearance in the first place. At no point was my ability to read affected. It's been unnerving. I have been doing my best not to catastrophize from it.
It has rained on and off all night in a breezy, springlike fashion which would be fine if we lived in the southern hemisphere.
After several weeks of intense nightmares, I appreciated last night's break in the form of a film by Ulrike Ottinger. Technically I just had dreams set in South and East Asia, some in the mountains, some on ships, with an almost all-female cast and a spectacular costume budget, but you see how metaphysically she should have been directing. I feel as though I did not sleep long enough for the plot to set, but the atmosphere was nice.
I find it interesting that I still dream in films when I have watched three movies and three and a half pieces of television in the last two and a half months, not counting the one TV serial which was a rewatch. It has been logistically more difficult for me to watch anything here than in my former apartment, but there also seems to have been some kind of actual, stamina-based block. I didn't just watch fewer things, I watched them across multiple nights even when they didn't have multiple parts. In the last week and change, my ability to watch things has begun to behave as though it is cautiously reviving, but I don't want to jinx it, especially since I'm not sure what factor of illness or stress or exhaustion governed its disappearance in the first place. At no point was my ability to read affected. It's been unnerving. I have been doing my best not to catastrophize from it.
It has rained on and off all night in a breezy, springlike fashion which would be fine if we lived in the southern hemisphere.
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It has been logistically more difficult for me to watch anything here than in my former apartment, but there also seems to have been some kind of actual, stamina-based block. I didn't just watch fewer things, I watched them across multiple nights even when they didn't have multiple parts. In the last week and change, my ability to watch things has begun to behave as though it is cautiously reviving, but I don't want to jinx it, especially since I'm not sure what factor of illness or stress or exhaustion governed its disappearance in the first place.
♥ The whole reason I fell down into watching elderly telly back in the beginning was because I completely lost my ability to manage current TV or film in any way that didn't make me much more ill. Obviously my reasons were different - everything was affected and I could read even less, and what was going on was explicable - but anyway, I sympathise. But consuming media does actually take a surprising amount of mental energy sometimes, so it's not so unnatural that it does come and go on occasions - but I hope yours comes back swiftly, because it is a horrible thing! <3
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In other good news, it looks like the next Not One of Us will soon arrive in our mailboxes.
I am very happy for the Stripey Dynasty--long may it flourish.