Muddy hymnals and some bootmarks where you'd been
After
shirei_shibolim:
That's pretty hilarious.
You know the Bible 92%!
Wow! You are awesome! You are a true Biblical scholar, not just a hearer but a personal reader! The books, the characters, the events, the verses - you know it all! You are fantastic!
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That's pretty hilarious.

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This is true.
"How did the Israelites get into Egypt in the first place?"
"They swam."
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You know, the more I think about it, the more awesome the idea of God as his own Prodigal Son really is.
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You should write all of these as mini-midrash. They would be awesome.