Your own ghost running away with the past

[sovay]

On Friday, my godchild decided that I am not to help them with their Hebrew or other homework any more because I am their "funny person" and they are not crossing that stream with anything stressful or serious. selkie and I tried to explain the concept of having fun as well as real talk with the same person, but they were dogmatically having none of it—I admit it may not have helped our case that at one point I laughed hard enough that my iPad fell flat over and their mother called me a dick—so instead we futzed around with our respective Zoom interfaces until I could watch them play through some painterly, open-world version of Zelda on their Nintendo Switch, which was something of a trip since the last time I was around any kind of handheld Nintendo device it was about 1990 and a Game Boy, and they went to bed after shouting "STABBY HORSE!" as is their custom and their mother and I had a serious conversation because irony. And then it only took me about twenty-four hours to realize I was having a minor existential attack over the idea of being someone that my godchild in so many words considers a respite from the hell of remote learning and other rollover of 2020 into 2021. I'm not entirely sure why, since it's not news to me that they love me, but it feels like a slightly different grade of responsibility than just making a change from their parents. They really believe me to be part of their support structure. Last week they sent me a copy of Aaron Freeman and Sharon Rosenzweig's The Comic Torah (2010) because it was too much trouble to try to show me all their favorite pages over Zoom. I have been sending them books since before they were literate or even really verbal, but I think this may be the first time they have reciprocated. I take the gesture seriously. Practicing the v'ahavta with me, though, is still right out.

Comments

[nodrog]

“Anachronism” is a GURPS Disadvantage for vampire characters that I understand perfectly:  An unwillingness to “roll with the changes,” as REO Speedwagon sang before you were even born…

It is to this girl you are referring, yes?

https://sovay.dreamwidth.org/file/473277.png

Why - unless your godchild has Multiple Personality Disorder, which is no longer called that, see above - why on earth do you not simply say “she”?  It is enough, surely, that you never give her name - why the jarring disconnect?

Friendly question, this.  I'm obviously missing something here.

[sovay]

It is to this girl you are referring, yes?

No, that's my niece. I haven't seen my godchild in person since 2019. I might use neutral pronouns for an additional layer of privacy on the internet—I know more than one set of parents who do—but in this case I use them because my godchild chose them a couple of years ago and I don't disrespect that. Please don't either.

[nodrog]

Ne’er my intention in the ſlighteſt, rely on ’t!  ’Tis merely an ill fit with the preſent Century.

[selkie]

The young person in question refers you to www.transstudent.org/gender , where there is a helpful graphic of a Stabby Horse (unicorn) they have sent to their own grandparents and educational team. They are also willing to answer questions if you have them, but likely not in this space (“likely” because they have effed off to their pod friend’s house for Sunday).

[nodrog]

Well, thank you! - but really, I consider the question fairly answered:  If that’s what the person wants, that’s explanation enow.

(That last bit made me smile, tho’.)

[sporky_rat]

STABBY

<3

[selkie]

This is the child who, when presented with the D'Aulaire Norse Myths by the keeper of this journal, immediately turned to the illustration of Sleipnir and announced, "Kitty!" So... Animals Have Species may not have stuck well.

[movingfinger]

meaning...the Ghibli catbus is a Sleipnir!?!

[thistleingrey]

Explains so much!

[sovay]

meaning...the Ghibli catbus is a Sleipnir!?!

Canon.

[selkie]

I’ll take it!

[sovay]

STABBY

Your biceratops is a thing of beauty.

[sovay]

where there is a helpful graphic of a Stabby Horse (unicorn) they have sent to their own grandparents and educational team.

I hadn't seen the Gender Stabby Horse!

(Would your child like a Sir Fabulous in whatever size they are currently outgrowing or would that be jumping the gun and/or embarrassing them with respect to the friendboy?)

[selkie]

I will ask them when they return from shoveling snow for funsies! Also, I think you can now definitely entirely wardrobe-swap as far as torso attire, which makes me think “adult medium unless yours is a small.”

[sovay]

I will ask them when they return from shoveling snow for funsies!

I mean, I am preparing to venture forth into the arctic wastes myself, but what?

Also, I think you can now definitely entirely wardrobe-swap as far as torso attire, which makes me think “adult medium unless yours is a small.”

I am still a small adult size unless it's one of those weird snug fits which this shirt is not. Yikes.

[selkie]

They say when you live somewhere with shoveling they will do ALL your shoveling. I am working on getting this in writing.

... for some strange and baffling reason, they would like the shirt with the natty unicorn on purple. Can’t imagine.

[sovay]

They say when you live somewhere with shoveling they will do ALL your shoveling. I am working on getting this in writing.

With witnesses, yet!

... for some strange and baffling reason, they would like the shirt with the natty unicorn on purple. Can’t imagine.

So noted.

[mrissa]

As a fellow godparent: yes. YES. Even when you have explicitly signed up to be part of a small human's support system, it doesn't always work out that way in practice; realizing that it has is glorious but also daunting.

[sovay]

Even when you have explicitly signed up to be part of a small human's support system, it doesn't always work out that way in practice; realizing that it has is glorious but also daunting.

It was entirely possible that I would remain a geographically and affectionately distant figure who sent them books at irregular intervals! I much prefer the current state of affairs, but wow.

[selkie]

I feel I should point out for the commentariat that you are not, in fact, a dick.

*hugs*

They take you very seriously as their Safe Person and their Funny Person, and they are a terrible judge of relative leap height, but a sterling judge of character. (Sorry it got existential, though. That’s very 2020~1.)

[sovay]

I feel I should point out for the commentariat that you are not, in fact, a dick.

It was warranted in the heat of the moment. And slightly scandalized your child, which was probably good for them.

They take you very seriously as their Safe Person and their Funny Person, and they are a terrible judge of relative leap height, but a sterling judge of character.

I had acclimated myself to knowing I'd take a bullet for them, but I didn't expect them to have noticed!

. . . OH GOD BUY YOUR BRAIN THE NEXT ROUND IT NOTICED WITH THE SECOND SIDE QUEST.

(Sorry it got existential, though. That’s very 2020~1.)

If it helps, after I went to bed, I had what I think was an anti-anxiety dream.

*hugs*

[selkie]

I am extremely glad for the anti-anxiety dream!

...I even managed to schlep it from the side quest to the novel, but you and my brain are right! Ginger beer for everybody. (The rake’s habits are a fair percentage Their Own [Fault] and the caffeine requirements actually mine, but the marshmallow center is yours. If you had an egregious fortune, a stunning wardrobe, and an Empire to thwart, you would still put yourself in the line of fire for my kid. Book worthy, not sorry!)

[tree_and_leaf]

Congratulations and good luck (not that it sounds like you need it!).

[sovay]

Congratulations and good luck (not that it sounds like you need it!).

Thank you! (We're embarking on adolescence. I'm sure I'll need it eventually.)

[minoanmiss]

By all the stars it is a Moment, isn't it, when you look at this Person you've known before they were born as they Look back at you and declare their particular participatory noncoinicidental relationship with and love for you?

It so is.

[sovay]

It so is.

It is.

[movingfinger]

I cherish the memory of a friend's reaction when they heard me describe them as a friend to someone else, rather than as a friend's child. Years later they explained that they felt honored and grown-up to be called a friend of an adult they liked and that it made them realize we had a relationship independent of their parents; it was helpful and supportive to them in ways I couldn't imagine. But they were and are a friend, even as a child, as an individual.

Congratulations on this precious friendship with a special person! It is a treasure for both of you. And thank you for mentioning this today, it's heartening to read something warming.

[sovay]

But they were and are a friend, even as a child, as an individual.

That is a memory to cherish, and I am glad it's still a fact.

Congratulations on this precious friendship with a special person! It is a treasure for both of you. And thank you for mentioning this today, it's heartening to read something warming.

Thank you! It makes me very happy, and I am happy to be able to share.

[umadoshi]

I'm not entirely sure why, since it's not news to me that they love me, but it feels like a slightly different grade of responsibility than just making a change from their parents. They really believe me to be part of their support structure.

It's a huge thing, and so lovely. *^^*

[sovay]

It's a huge thing, and so lovely.

It's like having a cat come to you and curl up of its own accord.

[asakiyume]

My heart is very full--that's lovely. Thanks for sharing this; it's like being included in an embrace.

[sovay]

My heart is very full--that's lovely. Thanks for sharing this; it's like being included in an embrace.

You're welcome.

*hugs*

[gwynnega]

That is lovely.

[sovay]

That is lovely.

It was unexpected and I'm just very glad of it.

[nineweaving]

Oh, how lovely! Yours and theirs, and freely given, heart to heart.

*hugs*

Nine

[sovay]

Oh, how lovely! Yours and theirs, and freely given, heart to heart.

*hugs*

[a_reasonable_man]

As a fellow godparent, I approve of this story. And I'm glad you got laugh hard! We all need more opportunity to do that.

[sovay]

As a fellow godparent, I approve of this story. And I'm glad you got laugh hard! We all need more opportunity to do that.

Thank you! (Have I met your godchild(ren)?)

[a_reasonable_man]

No, you haven't met my godson (I just have one godchild)--although I think his mom, whom I've known since we were babies together, once called me when I was hanging out with you. Evan graduated from William & Mary in 2019; he was born in Atlanta, has lived most of his life in southern California, and is thinking of relocating to New York City.

[sovay]

Evan graduated from William & Mary in 2019; he was born in Atlanta, has lived most of his life in southern California, and is thinking of relocating to New York City.

Cool!

[dhampyresa]

Aw, congrats!

[sovay]

Aw, congrats!

Thank you!