Finally finished a blueprint after years of throwing them out

[sovay]

We celebrated my brother's birthday observed by making vanilla ice cream in lieu of the strawberry ice cream that did not happen for this year's Fourth of July. The current crop of strawberries went into the shortcake instead. My brother cooked some kind of apricot-marinated steaks and my father made zucchini rolls with rice and my niece couldn't decide if she wanted me to read to her or just pick her up a lot. I handed my brother his IOU in the form of a birdwatching card which he seems to have liked just as much as the note inside, which I was not expecting and which pleased me. I think it was the most human interaction I have experienced in months and I collapsed as soon as we came home.

I wish I had not dreamed that one of my real-life friends convinced another to fake their own death because they thought it would be funny, especially since it was carried to the point of gaslighting and I was grief-stunned and I couldn't make one of them understand or the other seem to care afterward how incredibly cruel it had been. I had already been upset about other kinds of cruelty right before bed.

I decided to do that Southern U.S.-inflected food meme that has been making the rounds of my friendlist.

Have you ever:

1. Made biscuits from scratch?

Yes, North American-style. Generally a variant on the recipe for drop biscuits found in whichever edition of The Joy of Cooking my parents sent me off to grad school with. I used to have them for breakfast sometimes as a child.

2. Fried fresh okra?

No. Ironically, I did not encounter okra until I was an adult because my father through whom I inherit what quirks I have of Southern cuisine absolutely hates it. I have eaten fried okra in restaurants.

3. Made sourdough bread?

No. I'll eat it if there's nothing else, but I don't tend to prefer the flavor of sourdough to other kinds of bread. The exceptions are injera and pumpernickel.

4. Fried chicken?

Yes, most often pounded flat and lightly floured, although I suspect this question is asking about the buttermilk-dredged style.

5. Made spaghetti sauce from scratch?

Yes. I was in grad school the first time and I remember being incredibly proud of thinking to add orange juice for sweetness. I am something of an obligate carnivore and therefore tend to default to the kind with ground beef in it. I didn't like cooked tomatoes at all until I was in high school.

6. Made any kind of yeast bread?

Yes, although not for some time now. It was important for me to learn how to do it, but it doesn't seem to be a form of baking that especially compels me. I also just don't eat that much bread.

7. Baked a cake from scratch?

Yes, often. Honeycakes every year for Rosh Hashanah and, under normal circumstances, an assortment of less ritual cakes for people's birthdays. I also just bake lemon cake every now and then because it's delicious. It's my family's variation on Maida Heatter's East 62nd Street Lemon Cake.

8. Made icing from scratch?

Yes. If I make a cake that requires icing, I also make the icing, with the exception of fondant which I do not believe I have ever tried. In terms of personal preference, I gravitate toward whipped cream, fruit, and glazes.

9. Cooked a pot roast with all the veg?

I don't think so. I didn't grow up in a house with pot roast, to the point where I had to look up the definition before answering this question. My mother makes, and so I learned to make, something she simply calls brisket and which turns out to be a kind of tsimmes with meat—potatoes, carrots, dried prunes and apricots. They're in the same family.

10. Made chili from scratch?

Yes, several times this quarantine, even. It has beans and meat and registers on the Scoville scale and spatch and I like it.

11. Made a meatloaf?

No. It is not a food I was raised with and I have never felt the need to try. We make hamburgers when we can afford it.

12. Made scalloped potatoes?

I want to say once for Thanksgiving, which I traditionally use as an excuse for random culinary experimentation, but it must not have blown my mind. The part of the potato I like best in any case is the skin.

13. Made mac/cheese from scratch?

Regularly. It was the default preparation of noodles and cheese in the house when I was a child, with the Annie's white cheddar boxed kind as an occasional treat; it's an essential comfort food. We have made a lot of noodles and cheese this year so far.

14. Made a jello salad?

Never, unless it counts if you just put whipped cream or mandarin orange segments in it, which I'm not sure it does. I had an extremely enlightening conversation about salad once in grad school with a friend from Wisconsin.

15. Made peanut brittle?

No. I am not allergic to them, but I haven't been able to digest nuts for more than fifteen years and it just never came up before then.

16. Made fudge?

One of my family's major traditions is rolling fudge for Christmas and giving it to people at either our annual Hanukkah party or our Christmas eggnog. I am highly doubtful it will be safe to do so this year and I hate it.

17. Made cookies from scratch?

Yes. The ones in the kitchen right now are snickerdoodles.

18. Cooked a pot of beans from dried beans?

Yes, since we have some delicious heirloom beans that don't come any way other than dried. Most of our lentils are also not stored in cans.

19. Cooked a pot of greens?

Yes. I like a lot of dark leafy greens and nutritionally they are useful to me. About ten years ago I went through a phase of serious chard. I have even cooked collards, which I love.

20. Made cornbread from scratch?

Yes. I grew up eating a reasonable amount of cornbread, sometimes with bacon or cheese or corn or chili powder in it, but I usually make it plain myself, and not too sweet.

21. Made a pie dough from scratch?

Yes, but the only time I remember being really satisfied with it was the Zwiebelkuchen, which now that I have two partners with onion allergies is never happening again.

22. Cooked a whole turkey?

Never by myself! Otherwise, I have been helping with the Thanksgiving turkey since I was small.

23. Snapped green beans and cooked them?

Yes, although under protest, because I hate green beans.

24. Made mashed potatoes from scratch?

Yes, although mostly for other people to eat.

25. What's the most people you have (alone) prepared a whole meal for?

I have no idea. Three or four at the most, I imagine. Under normal circumstances, I am involved several times a year in cooking or baking for a couple dozen people, but not singlehandedly.

26. Poached an egg?

No, although spatch learned how during the quarantine and has been eating them intermittently ever since.

27. Made pancakes from scratch?

Yes, but I don't really like pancakes.

28. Roasted vegetables in the oven instead of boiling them?

Yes, because most vegetables are much better roasted than boiled unless they are part of a soup.

29. Made fresh pasta?

Yes, although not recently. I am proudest of the tajarin and of the time choco_frosh and I accidentally made enough Käsespätzle to feed a small standing army.

30. Made croissants from scratch?

No. Good Lord.

31. Made tuna salad?

Yes, but it turns out I don't like it. I make an analogous dish with egg noodles, cream cheese, and either smoked salmon or kippers, plus black pepper, capers, and garlic or shallots, which tastes much less like a bagel than it looks when you write it out. I realize I confused tuna salad with tuna casserole for purposes of this question, but I'm letting it stand because I still don't like tuna salad. I am not a mayonnaise fan and I much prefer tuna uncooked.

32. Fried fish?

Never the battered-with-chips kind, on account of not having a chip fryer. I have occasionally made the kind that's dusted in breadcrumbs or cornmeal, but I really prefer my fish just sautéed or broiled, if I'm going to cook it.

33. Made baked beans?

Boston baked beans, from scratch? Yes, although life is much more pleasant if we eat B&M from a can.

34. Made ice cream from scratch?

Yesterday!

35. Made jam or jelly?

Yes, but rarely. The most vivid instance was in high school with Concord grapes, when we were still on good terms with the neighbors who had an arbor in their yard. Then I built a radio telescope in our yard and they planted their property line with very forbidding trees.

36. Zested an orange or lemon?

Any time something I'm baking requires it.

37. Made grits from scratch?

If that means cooking the non-instant kind on a stovetop, yes, often, usually with cheese. If it means nixtamalizing the corn myself, no.

38. Made an omelette?

Yes, often. It's one of our standard low-stress dinners. Also usually with cheese.

39. Lived in a house without a dishwasher?

I have lived the majority of my life in houses without a dishwasher. We haven't got a dishwasher now. Is this a question about cooking or a question about social class? I'm not sure it's diagnostic either way.

40. Eaten a bowl of cereal for supper?

I don't like almost any cold cereals and avoid them for breakfast, too. I have a sort of nostalgic fondness for Grape-Nuts, but am no longer sure I could digest them. I like oatmeal and sometimes make it with goat's milk and cinnamon and honey in the evenings.

Last but not least, Readercon has made an official statement of solidarity with Black Lives Matter.

Comments

[asakiyume]

I haven't made croissants from scratch either, though, and I like your remark.

I made fresh okra the other day and intend to again today because I grew some this year. Otherwise, my answers would look like yours (though with different notes...)

That dream you mention--things like that, they leave you hurting when you wake up, even.

[sovay]

I haven't made croissants from scratch either, though, and I like your remark.

Thank you!

I made fresh okra the other day and intend to again today because I grew some this year.

That's neat. I know nothing about growing okra. We had tomatoes for a number of years and sometimes carrots and pumpkins and always chives and the rhubarb that was functionally a weed. I think some of the herbs are also still running wild. The basil dies if you breathe on it, but the thyme is apparently indestructible.

Otherwise, my answers would look like yours (though with different notes...)

Like what?

That dream you mention--things like that, they leave you hurting when you wake up, even.

Yes, and I hate that.

[genarti]

I have made croissants from scratch, and I also like it!

Technically it was chocolatine/pain au chocolat, but it's viennoiserie and laminated, so I count it. It was in significant part to prove to myself that I could. I could, and they were delicious, but I wouldn't do it again until I had better pans for it; mine have insufficient rims all around, and butter dripped onto the bottom of the oven in sufficient quantity that it caught flame, and then we had fire alarms going off and smoke pouring out and frantic window-opening and butter all over the floor and general alarums and excursions in the middle of a family zoom brunch. No harm done, though the pastries did have a delicately smoked taste to them, but it was extremely dramatic! (skygiants loves to tell the story as "So, the time that Beth set the kitchen on fire--" though, because she loves a story of accidental flame that isn't her fault.)

[thistleingrey]

If it means nixtamalizing the corn myself, no.

heh, okay, me neither.

Is this a question about cooking or a question about social class?

I feel as though it's a question about suburban tract housing versus apartment living, quite unaware that there are additional types of housing in many places--even if we look only in US. (FFS.)

[sovay]

I feel as though it's a question about suburban tract housing versus apartment living, quite unaware that there are additional types of housing in many places--even if we look only in US. (FFS.)

Seriously. Also I've met apartments with dishwashers, although I've never lived in one myself. (We did live once in an apartment with a dishwasher that was broken beyond use or repair and which the landlords had no interest in replacing, which I feel doesn't count.)

[troisoiseaux]

I had an extremely enlightening conversation about salad once in grad school with a friend from Wisconsin.

The midwest definitely has its own definition of salad, and lettuce is rarely involved.

[sovay]

The midwest definitely has its own definition of salad, and lettuce is rarely involved.

I don't even demand lettuce in my salad! I have complicated feelings about lettuce myself! But I did expect a vegetable that was not, like, shredded carrot in a suspension of gelatin!

[gwynnega]

That meme made me realize afresh that I'm not much of a cook, but it also made me hungry. I love collards too.

Someone I knew (not a close friend) once faked his own death as some kind of performance art. I was very annoyed when I found out, albeit glad he wasn't dead.

[sovay]

That meme made me realize afresh that I'm not much of a cook, but it also made me hungry.

I was interested by how many things it didn't ask me if I have ever cooked, like rice. It's a very incomplete snapshot.

I love collards too.

I hope you have a good source nearby!

Someone I knew (not a close friend) once faked his own death as some kind of performance art.

That at least has theoretically more justification than "for the lulz." What was the intended object of the art?

[asakiyume]

I cast a severe sideeye on anyone who fakes their own death for any purpose other than avoiding murder at the hands of loan sharks/drug cartels/government assassins. Performance art that involves involuntary trauma to your presumed audience is Not Good.

[selkie]

I have made croissants from scratch, and you know what, I’ll pay for my laminated pastry from someone who owns a sheeter.

I hope to God I wasn’t involved in the gaslighting horror, and I know you can’t set your dreams like a DVD you pick, but be assured if I wanted someone dead I’d just kill them.

I’m sorry that happened. Like, more sorry than I am sorry that okra exists.

[sovay]

I have made croissants from scratch, and you know what, I’ll pay for my laminated pastry from someone who owns a sheeter.

I was saying to spatch that if I want to make something with that many repetitive folds and turns, I just want to make dumplings.

I’m sorry that happened. Like, more sorry than I am sorry that okra exists.

*hugs*

You were not either of the people in the dream.

[julian]

Zwiebelkuchen -- That looks really *good*. Hm.

Thank you for your corn-processing word.

[sovay]

Zwiebelkuchen -- That looks really *good*. Hm.

It was totally worth the hours of prep and baking. It ranks with French onion soup as one of the very few states in which onions actually taste good to me.

Thank you for your corn-processing word.

You're welcome!

[nineweaving]

It is absolutely wonderful that you got to celebrate your brother's birthday with your family.

I would adore Zwiebelkuchen.

Nine

[sovay]

It is absolutely wonderful that you got to celebrate your brother's birthday with your family.

Thank you. It was really good to see them.

I would adore Zwiebelkuchen.

I do not normally like onions! I accept them as a substrate in many dishes, but they are inedible to me raw and even cooked I tend to push them to the side of the plate. They were delicious in the Zwiebelkuchen. I suspect it was all the caramelization and cream.

[tree_and_leaf]

Having thought about this from a British perspective, I think the question that might actually be most alien, even though others (such as okra and biscuits) seem more obviously so, is the "have you ever made a cake from scratch", because while you can get kits here, they're not particularly popular, and you'd certainly never get even the most amateur of food blogger providing a cake recipe that depended on using one, whereas I have seen US bloggers doing that.

[tree_and_leaf]

Also, you've reminded me that I mean to try making Zwiebelkuchen. I used to enjoy it in Germany.

[sporky_rat]

They're helpful for making car camping campfire upside down dump cakes (a tin of pineapple rings, a packet of cake mix, and you have a dessert in a dutch oven) but I'd almost rather mix a bag of stuff up at home and bring that than the pre-made packet these days. (Well, except the need for eggs, but powdered egg works well enough for that).

[sovay]

is the "have you ever made a cake from scratch", because while you can get kits here, they're not particularly popular, and you'd certainly never get even the most amateur of food blogger providing a cake recipe that depended on using one, whereas I have seen US bloggers doing that.

That's really interesting to know! Also, thank you, because it had not actually registered with me that the question was distinguishing between cake from scratch and cake from a mix: I took it as cake from scratch vs. cake from a store. I did not grow up with cake mix at all.

[oracne]

The house in which I now live has a dishwasher and even though it is not the most powerful, I am still agog at the convenience. It makes me a lot more willing to use things like my hand mixer and blender.

[sovay]

It makes me a lot more willing to use things like my hand mixer and blender.

That makes absolute sense to me.

[kenjari]

Meatloaf can be very tasty, but the thing about it is that the point isn't to eat it for dinner, really. It's to make delicious meatloaf sandwiches out of it the next day. It's kind of like a combination of the tastiest aspects of a hamburger and a thin-sliced high-quality deli meat.

[sovay]

It's to make delicious meatloaf sandwiches out of it the next day. It's kind of like a combination of the tastiest aspects of a hamburger and a thin-sliced high-quality deli meat.

That would never have occurred to me and is a fascinating idea!

re: Greatly exaggerated

[nodrog]

Back in her heyday, at the apogee of Britney Spears’ popularity, two New York disc jockeys got the bright idea of starting a whisper campaign to the effect that she was dead.  Hey, it worked for the Beatles!

They were extremely fired.

Re: Greatly exaggerated

[sovay]

They were extremely fired.

I would have fired my friends in the dream, too.

[sorcyress]

Not to change your mind (your point about tuna being better uncooked is spot on), but I despised mayo as a child and my mother developed the trick of making tuna salad with ranch dressing instead. It's been a long time since I've made it -lots more dill pickles than you think you'd need- and I maybe miss it, but maybe it's okay to just stay in nostalgia.

[sovay]

It's been a long time since I've made it -lots more dill pickles than you think you'd need- and I maybe miss it, but maybe it's okay to just stay in nostalgia.

I'm glad it worked for you as a child no matter what, and I hope if you try it again someday it's still tasty. I have had tuna casserole with ranch dressing and I might just be no-go on cooked tuna.