I find reconciliation in the wreckage

[sovay]

Today I learned that I can exist tolerably on Zoom for about two hours and at the two-and-a-half-hour mark I suddenly want to die. I would have preferred to know this before I had to quit abruptly out of a hangout, but at least I have parameters for the next time. There is nothing to do about the fact that it does not play at all well with my preferred behavior in unstructured social groups, i.e., read in a corner and either eventually start a conversation one-on-one or kibitz or leave.

I wish my copy of Alfred Bester's The Demolished Man (1953) were not in storage, especially now that the libraries are closed. I wanted to re-read it last night after discovering that in the original novel of Donovan's Brain (1940) by Curt Siodmak, not the 1953 film in which the brain meets its end by a fortuitous bolt of lightning, a catchy tongue-twister is used as a jamming device against telepathic eavesdropping. I'd encountered the device first in Bester, of course, but now I'm wondering if it originated with Siodmak or if it's as old as any idea of telepathy that works like radio.

A friend who is not on DW sent me some wholesome content of a weasel in a pair of boots.

Comments

[desireearmfeldt]

Everyone is madly scheduling medium-group activities over Zoom but there's no reason the introverts can't take the reins into their hands and plan pair or small group virtual dates! For which the tech works perfectly nicely.

[sovay]

there's no reason the introverts can't take the reins into their hands and plan pair or small group virtual dates! For which the tech works perfectly nicely.

That's good to know! The catch is that I am on Zoom at all because that's where my Yiddish chorus is now holding its rehearsals, which turn out to run just to the edge of my tolerance; the rehearsal then broke up into hanging-out afterward, which can be fine for me in person but it seems not online. I imagine it would be less stressful one-on-one, but I'm still not sure how much of this platform I can do. I feel like I've just attended a convention.

[desireearmfeldt]

Oh,wow, you folks are attempting choral rehearsals over webconference? That's hard core! Does it work? (I just tested out a voice lesson, which is feasible but dealing bc with accompaniment is a headache.)

Videoconferencing is very much not the medium for mingling, I concur.

[sovay]

Oh,wow, you folks are attempting choral rehearsals over webconference? That's hard core! Does it work?

With seventy people, it does not work at all as anything other than a morale-building exercise! When we broke up into sectionals, it was possible to get some learning/reinforcement done, although as the person who was doing a lot of the demonstration of musical lines, the time delay element was teeth-grating. It does not seem in any way possible to get everyone synched up sufficiently for proper choral work, but we're going with weekly Zoom calls until further notice. It may just be a way of keeping people connected to one another and not totally detached from normal routine. That isn't the worst thing, but I still suspect the technology is going to drive me up the wall.

I'm glad your voice lessons will be feasible! That's a big thing not to have to lose at a stressful time.

Videoconferencing is very much not the medium for mingling, I concur.

I really like parties where I know either everyone or, like, two people.

[rosefox]

It does not seem in any way possible to get everyone synched up sufficiently for proper choral work

Can confirm, it is not. Even attempting to say mourner's kaddish with a Zoom minyan made me grit my teeth.

[selkie]

I could not proctor my congregation's first Zoom shiva. My boss had to do it. I just... I just. *weary hands* I mean, yes. The tape-delay effect was real and very jarring. But I also couldn't believe we were here.

[rosefox]

I'm sorry, that is so very hard.

[sovay]

But I also couldn't believe we were here.

No; that's terrible and strange.

*hugs*

[julian]

I am finding Zoom/similar things difficult for similar but different reasons, snd my personal mental limit is about 2 hours, which makes it a bit of a sadness that my Holistic class looks to be actually using the entire 2 1/2 hour class time.

(Except it's also good because it's my best class. Nothing is simple.)

[sovay]

(Except it's also good because it's my best class. Nothing is simple.)

Sympathies. I hope a balance can be found without burnout.

[redbird]

I've been hanging out on a couple of Discord servers, since the outbreak started being a Big Deal in (at least parts of) Europe and North America. It's only been a few days, but I am finding it congenial, and it might work better with your preferred behavior in unstructured social groups.

I don't know how often people are starting one-on-one conversations, because unless I'm in them or the "let's take this private" is in a public thread, I won't see it.

Unfortunately, I think this comment is useful only if you're already considering trying Discord: I have no idea of how to find servers, unless someone says something like "let's try a Discord social distancing hangout" on a site you're reading, or sends you an invitation. I am fairly sure the dynamics in a server with thousands of members are different than those in servers with membership measured in the dozens.

[sovay]

It's only been a few days, but I am finding it congenial, and it might work better with your preferred behavior in unstructured social groups.

I appreciate the suggestion. The real problem is that I am most comfortable with conversations in person, with letters or e-mail, and with phone if no other options are available; I have nostalgic feelings about AIM, but LJ/DW is really about the only social media platform with which I can interact without eventually feeling like someone is winding my brain the wrong way. I avoid most of them for that reason. Zoom seems to produce the same sensation. And I am not sure that now is really the time to test the limits of my capacity for social interaction; like everyone else enduring a pandemic, I am not exactly starting from a full tank of gas.

[redbird]

Absolutely not the time to test your limits; I didn't realize quite where they lie.

[sovay]

Absolutely not the time to test your limits; I didn't realize quite where they lie.

No worries. I am a digitally fluent person who does best in mostly analog contexts. From the other side of an online journal, I have no idea how obvious that is unless I talk about it.

AIM

[dewline]

I miss that software.

Re: AIM

[sovay]

I miss that software.

It was really useful. spatch and I used to talk on it. And I have no recollection that it made the inside of my head start to twitch.

[nodrog]

May I?

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=http://ebooksbeus.weebly.com/uploads/6/3/0/8/6308108/the_demolished_man_-_alfred_bester.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwjQlqjZtr7oAhUhVt8KHVxjCu4QFjABegQIDRAB&usg=AOvVaw01svE1p1HxpICTV4EK9ccj

I apologize for the unwieldy link - it goes straight to the PDF.

[sovay]

I apologize for the unwieldy link - it goes straight to the PDF.

That cover is the edition I own! And which I bought, quite legitimately, thus compensating the author (or at least the author's estate) as requested by the uploader. Thank you.

[dewline]

Zoom is almost completely new to me.

[sovay]

Zoom is almost completely new to me.

It's freeware (although I am told you can do more things with it if you pay) and I had never used it before Sunday. Bertie Owen can just run it if I close out all other applications. I prefer it to the idea of Skype or FaceTime, but I don't think I like it. It is true that I have not yet performed the experiment of a one-on-one conversation and should at least find out how that works.

[gwynnega]

I had two doctor's appointments on Zoom this week, and it worked well for that purpose. I've never used it for anything else, but I suspect I would burn out quickly if I used it for a large gathering.

The weasel and boots is wonderfully stress-relieving, somehow.

[sovay]

I had two doctor's appointments on Zoom this week, and it worked well for that purpose.

That makes sense, and I'm glad it did. I had two doctor's visits by phone call.

I've never used it for anything else, but I suspect I would burn out quickly if I used it for a large gathering.

I have not really used it for anything but large gatherings. I am sure this is unfair to the platform, but also right now I don't feel like talking to anyone to days!

The weasel and boots is wonderfully stress-relieving, somehow.

It reminded me of Hestia. When she is hunting, or playing at hunting, she wriggles and dives the same way.

The Demolished Man

[dewline]

I remember trying to read that book once, I think about 20 years ago. If I could remember the experience better, I might be able to give you an informed answer.

Re: The Demolished Man

[sovay]

If I could remember the experience better, I might be able to give you an informed answer.

I know that Siodmak predates Bester, I'm just curious if anyone predates Siodmak. I don't need access to Bester for research, I just like The Demolished Man and was reminded by the information about Donovan's Brain that I haven't read it in years.

[rachelmanija]

I also find Zoom exhausting. I can deal for one hour of therapy, but having dinner with a friend is not the relaxing experience it would be if we were in the same room.

[sovay]

but having dinner with a friend is not the relaxing experience it would be if we were in the same room.

That makes sense to me. It just seems to require being on.

[rachelmanija]

Yeah, I can only do that for brief periods and it's tiring. It's also not the mode in which I like to interact with friends.

[sovay]

It's also not the mode in which I like to interact with friends.

+1. That's the entire point of having them.

[rachelmanija]

The people who are saying stuff like, "All you have to do is stay home and watch Netflix, stop whining" are forgetting that isolation has always been considered a serious punishment. Even house arrest is no fun. (Admittedly, it's better with than without Netflix. But still.)

[selkie]

Nicole made masks today until we ran out of elastic; I did nothing redeeming except feed us, maybe, and convince the child that tomato soup does not exist solely as sauce for grilled cheese sandwiches, but can be eaten once the grilled cheese sandwich has shuffled off the buttered coil.

We are still here.

[sovay]

We are still here.

You are. I am glad of it.

(Feeding people is part of staying here and is therefore extremely redeeming.)

Love.

[thisbluespirit]

Yes, that kind of online interaction is a lot more draining, even more so than a phonecall. Two and half hours is very impressive, though, really, in that case! (I can do 20 mins on Skype, max.)

[sovay]

Two and half hours is very impressive, though, really, in that case!

It was the kind of situation where I had no idea of my limits until I hit them. Future rehearsals are going to be interesting.

[asakiyume]

The weasel is adorable! I shared it with the offspring in Japan.

My first (and to date only) experiences with Zoom were coaching someone through writing their dissertation last year, and it worked really well for that. Wakanomori is using it for teaching. I'm glad to see from comments that you're able to use it for choral practice! But yeah, I can understand the sudden crash. Two hours was my limit for the coaching.

[sovay]

The weasel is adorable! I shared it with the offspring in Japan.

Yay!

But yeah, I can understand the sudden crash. Two hours was my limit for the coaching.

I just don't use any of these technologies in my regular life. I assumed I would not find them congenial and I was right; I just didn't know quite how it would play out until it hit.

[kenjari]

I've really liked Zoom for talking with my sister one-on-one, so you may find that a very different experience.
I have to support the private lesson teachers at work, so I am all too aware of the lag issues with Zoom. Live ensemble rehearsals just aren't possible, unfortunately.
I've really gotten into letter-writing over the last year and a half, so if you'd like a letter, I'd be happy to write you one.

[sovay]

I've really liked Zoom for talking with my sister one-on-one, so you may find that a very different experience.

That's good to know. My two experiences so far have just been exhausting.

I've really gotten into letter-writing over the last year and a half, so if you'd like a letter, I'd be happy to write you one.

I would love a letter. Do you have my current address or should I send it to you?

[kenjari]

I don't think I have your current address. You can PM it to me here, or send it to realfirstname DOT reallastname AT gmail