sovay: (Viktor & Mordecai)
sovay ([personal profile] sovay) wrote2019-07-05 09:15 pm

An' because it was so, why, o' course 'e went an' died

I'm reading Charles McGrath's "Rudyard Kipling in America" in the most recent issue of The New Yorker and it contains one of those ordinary facts the finding out of which makes you feel like you've been living under a rock:

Kipling wound up in Brattleboro because, in January, 1892, when he was twenty-six and already famous for tales and poems he had published about India, he married a Vermonter named Carrie Balestier. Theirs was such a perplexing union that you wish that Benfey had gone into more detail about it. He doesn't tell you, for example, just how much Kipling's family and most of his friends disliked Carrie. They thought her unattractive and opinionated, not nearly feminine enough. Kipling's father said she was "a good man spoiled." Most Kipling biographers have depicted her as a nag, a harridan, a ball-breaker. So what did Kipling see in her? Mostly, it seems, he saw her brother, who was Kipling's friend and literary agent.

Wolcott Balestier was a darting, quicksilver figure, who probably deserves a book of his own. Arthur Waugh (Evelyn's father), who briefly worked for him, said he had a "chameleon power with people." After dropping out of Cornell, Wolcott travelled to Colorado and to Mexico, looking for adventure, and then edited a lowbrow New York weekly called
Tid-Bits, before settling in London, where he became an enterprising and ambitious agent—the Andrew Wylie of his time. Some people thought him vulgar, but most of literary London was charmed; Henry James and Edmund Gosse were especially smitten. Kipling loved Balestier, too, and their friendship, if it wasn't overtly sexual, had erotic overtones. They even wrote together—something Kipling never did with anyone else—collaborating on a novel, "The Naulahka," an adventure story about a priceless Indian necklace.

In December, 1891, Balestier died suddenly, of typhoid, at the age of twenty-nine. Kipling, who was visiting India, where his parents still lived, raced back to London, and scarcely a week after he returned he married Balestier's younger sister, in a dreary little ceremony that was more like a funeral than a wedding. Henry James gave away the bride, though he said later, "It's a union of which I don't forecast the future." Kipling, for their honeymoon, rewrote a love poem that he had intended for her brother, changing the pronouns and addressing her as "Dear Lass," instead of "Dear Lad."


If I'm going to be earwormed with Oh, passin' the love o' womenyou, too, sunshine.
gwynnega: (Default)

[personal profile] gwynnega 2019-07-06 01:44 am (UTC)(link)
Oh wow.
a_reasonable_man: (Default)

[personal profile] a_reasonable_man 2019-07-06 01:47 am (UTC)(link)
Years ago I read a book on Kipling in America, but not that story. As the late, lamented Arte Johnson would say, "Verrry interesting."
landofnowhere: (Default)

[personal profile] landofnowhere 2019-07-06 02:41 am (UTC)(link)
I'd never heard of Wolcott Balestier, but he sounds fascinating -- like a character out of George Gissing's New Grub Street, only I don't think Gissing knew how to write homoeroticism.
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[personal profile] yhlee 2019-07-06 04:00 am (UTC)(link)
Mostly what I get out of this is that I feel really bad for Kipling's wife now.
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[personal profile] staranise 2019-07-06 05:35 am (UTC)(link)
I desperately want to know if she ever, like... knew.
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[personal profile] radiantfracture 2019-07-06 06:08 am (UTC)(link)
Good heavens.
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[personal profile] nineweaving 2019-07-06 06:10 am (UTC)(link)
Oh wow. How awful for both of them. And then they lost two beloved children: Josephine to pneumonia, and John (poor half-blind boy) to war.

Nine
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[personal profile] genarti 2019-07-06 06:37 am (UTC)(link)
SAME. God. Though I'm also desperately curious whether she knew, and whether it was in any way fair to her -- like, did she get any freedom by it? (A beard??) Or did she just have a husband who wanted to be with her dead brother and in-laws who despised her?

Possibly there are answers to this available to people who know Kipling's biography more than I (not hard, as I know very very little.)
poliphilo: (Default)

[personal profile] poliphilo 2019-07-06 07:53 am (UTC)(link)
But the marriage lasted.

Kipling was very protective of his private life- and will be happy that it remains a mystery to us.

They tell you at Batemans that she used to act as his watchdog- keeping unwanted visitors at bay so he wouldn't be interrupted in his work. Also she was the business brains of the enterprise- and signed all the cheques. My granny volunteered to work at Batemans during the Great War and was told she really didn't want to because Mrs Kipling "was a tartar". She took the post anyway because she was a huge fan. I don't think she saw much of either of them- but she did get him to sign a book for her- which was something he didn't much care to do. I think Rudyard and Carrie were a tight little unit.

Elsie lived on at Batemans, keeping the place as a shrine to her parents. When she died she left it to the National Trust. I think I'm right in saying she never married.

Kingsley Amis wrote a poem about Carrie- and how in the portrait of her as a young housewife she has "some sort of key" hanging from her belt. He implies that if we had that key and the lock it fits we would know everything...

If I have given you delight
By aught that I have done
Let me lie quiet in that night
Which shall be yours anon.

And for the little, little space
The dead are borne in mind
Seek not to question other than
The books I leave behind.
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[personal profile] vass 2019-07-06 09:01 am (UTC)(link)
I regularly feel like I've been living under a rock, but this is still a surprise. Gosh.
poliphilo: (Default)

[personal profile] poliphilo 2019-07-06 09:58 am (UTC)(link)
Also...

Everyone who has commented here has assumed that Kipling swept in and overpowered Carrie. I suggest it may have been the other way round. It's on record somewhere (don't ask where exactly) that one of Kipling's female relations (his mother I think) said, on first meeting Carrie, "That young person is going to marry our Rud". I think Carrie wanted him from the offset- and the relationship, however it developed, dates from before Wolcott's death. His family's objection to her had a good deal of snobbery about it- and it might be worth observing that her family didn't like him either- and that he was driven out of America after his brother-in-law threatened to shoot him and the resulting court case turned him into a figure of fun.

Carrie was tough. He was delicate, impressionable, highly strung. They complimented one another. I don't find it odd that in the aftermath of a sudden and terrible bereavement they should have decided to throw in their lot together.

A number of his later stories hinge upon an obsessive relationship- which is baffling to outsiders- between two unglamorous and completely unlikely people. Examples are Mrs Bathurst and A Madonna of the Trenches. Mrs Bathurst is famously obscure. I suggest he may have been sending a coded message to his wife- and dropping a hint to the rest of us- though heaven forbid that we should pick it up.
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[personal profile] cmcmck 2019-07-06 10:54 am (UTC)(link)
Strange thing is that the marriage did work- sorta.
poliphilo: (Default)

[personal profile] poliphilo 2019-07-06 11:11 am (UTC)(link)
Certainly it did- and they guarded their privacy fiercely. The truth is we know very little about it- and many of those who had things to say about it were hostile to Carrie.
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[personal profile] landofnowhere 2019-07-06 02:04 pm (UTC)(link)
Let me tell you of the characters of New Grub Street, an 1890s novel set in the London literary scene:

Edwin Reardon: a literary novelist who married the wrong woman after one of his books became a surprise hit. Reardon would have been happy to toil away in obscurity, but his wife Amy has too much ambition and not enough interest in being a self-sacrificing helpmeet and full-time parent. She badgers him to write more marketable books, but their marriage is doomed, as, ultimately is Reardon himself. I appreciate that the book doesn't judge or punish Amy, but instead suggests that what she really needs is a no-fault divorce and subsidized childcare.

Jasper Milvain: Reardon's foil, a man who intends to milk the literary world for as much profit as he can, with no scruples whatsoever. The most charismatic of the bunch, with his vitality and unabashed self-interest. There's a Social Darwinist streak to the book, and he's the dog who eats the dog.

Whelpdale: Can't write, but he has excellent business sense: has made a career for himself as a literary agent, and is in the process of inventing the tabloid periodical. Also has a chronic case of Nice Guy/White Knight-ing -- he keeps on falling for young women in distressed circumstances, only to have them run off once he helps them get on their feet.

There are more (how can I neglect to mention Biffen, who slaves over his unreadable realist novel "Mr. Bailey, Grocer"!) but as this is getting to be an essay I'm just going to leave this quote here:

‘I always feel it rather humiliating,’ said Jasper, ‘that I have gone through no very serious hardships. It must be so gratifying to say to young fellows who are just beginning:

“Ah, I remember when I was within an ace of starving to death,” and then come out with Grub Street reminiscences of the most appalling kind. Unfortunately, I have always had enough to eat.’

‘I haven’t,’ exclaimed Whelpdale. ‘I have lived for five days on a few cents’ worth of pea-nuts in the States.’

‘What are pea-nuts, Mr Whelpdale?’ asked Dora.

Delighted with the question, Whelpdale described that undesirable species of food.

‘It was in Troy,’ he went on, ‘Troy, N.Y. To think that a man should live on pea-nuts in a town called Troy!’
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[personal profile] rydra_wong 2019-07-06 02:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Though, hmm. That assumes that he married her as a substitute. Whereas (based just on what's described above), it seems also possible that he loved her the same way he loved her brother.
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[personal profile] moon_custafer 2019-07-06 02:39 pm (UTC)(link)
I’m sort of reminded of Doctor Johnson, who apparently adored his wife Tetty, and his friends despised her, and historians for years went “what could he possibly have seen in her?” and more recently at least one scholar wrote something to the effect of “well, you’re going by Garrick’s descriptions of her, not Johnson’s, and why is it that people are willing to credit Johnson with intelligence and good taste in everything else, but not in the matter of this relationship?”
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[personal profile] asakiyume 2019-07-06 03:48 pm (UTC)(link)
That was **precisely** my thought, but I wanted to read through the comment thread to see if anyone had said that before me. Married as a bound-to-be-not-satisfactory substitute for your brother, and hated by your husband's family.
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[personal profile] asakiyume 2019-07-06 03:52 pm (UTC)(link)
That's a better story than the one I was imagining in my head, yes. I suppose he could have loved both the siblings. I still think it's rough that he repurposed a poem intended for someone else, but that's not a capital offense.

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