I was very surprised to see that dads got more slack, because the impression I got while parenting a child (admittedly years ago) was that men are presumed to be totally incompetent with children, all evidence to the contrary. wouldn't that make them *more* likely to be turned in?

I agree that the stereotype persists of men as naturally incompetent at parenting, but instead of more stringent policing, it seems to mean they get credit for just showing up. A mother is supposed to have no life outside of her children. A father has all these other responsibilities and is cut slack for them.