Don't lose perspective, or self-awareness, or don't bully, perhaps - it's trying to force the thing itself to be what you see it as, which in life or fiction, generally gets very toxic and hurtful quickly, whether it's making stuff properly cool, or tinhat shipping, or deciding this one fandom is the most Evil and going on a moral crusade against it and all its fans.

Yes; that's very much what the essay is about and I agree that it's not unique to any one gender, although I think there are gendered manifestations.

I don't know what the solution is: possibly don't human being, I don't know. (Maybe that's too cynical? Hopefully.)

Don't human being like that.

But there are too many people who think there's nothing serious or worthwhile in something when it's absurd or comedic or even just fantastical, and you are not one of those. And people who get that are indeed one of the joys of being in fannish spaces/talking to people online.

Thank you!