You are oftentimes a time traveler and have been respectfully credited as a ghost; I suspect you could get tickets, but the question would be returning after the matinee. And not eating the popcorn.

Also, and I say this as a person whose life story has been squooshed into a palatable narrative arc for many a year as far as public consumption goes, and who presumably can tell a good convincing story about fake things: what you're feeling is expressed by William Goldman writing as S. Morgenstern.

"We are men of action; lies do not become us."