I can cheer for people taking responsibility for things they ought to, but bearing both parties' weight in a relationship isn't a responsibility anyone should have to accept.

Exactly! And structurally the film feels like it agrees with you, but verbally it places the weight on Eleanor, which makes for a viewing experience that perhaps accurately reproduces the workings of sexism in the world—neutral or shared responsibility interpreted to fault the woman—but who needs that to relax with? I would love to see the script notes on this one.