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It's not blood, it's a metaphor for love
For our first night as a married couple, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
derspatchel and I went to a hotel. We are not having a honeymoon in the formal sense, although we are planning some trips in the upcoming year, but we wanted something a little offset from the everyday of our half-unpacked apartment and dishes in the sink and it was the correct decision. We met his mother in the afternoon and took her to see the glass flowers at the Harvard Museum of Natural History. We went home afterward and ate dinner quietly, by ourselves. We were looking forward to sleep.
For our second night, we went to the ER.
It is good to know I have married the sort of person who will literally catch me when I fall, but I could have done without the intense nausea, dizziness, tinnitus, and whiteout that preceded me fainting for the first time in my life that I can remember. I don't even remember reaching for the seltzer, which is what Rob tells me I was doing when I dropped. I just remember his voice sounding suddenly anxious ("Sonya? Hon? Hon, stay with me!") and the disoriented realization that intead of being on my feet near the green basket chair, however sickly, I was on the floor in front of it, supported against him. Then I fell over sideways and shivered a lot. He put a pillow under my head and his bathrobe on top of me for a blanket. We called urgent care. The woman on the other end of the line said something about in sickness and in health and I protested distinctly, we didn't even promise that! It took me much longer than usual to get dressed; the ringing in my ears was deafening and metallic and something was wrong with my inner ear, so that I felt whirling and out of phase with my own body every time I bent or stood or turned my head. It was in fact fairly frightening, because I had no idea what was causing it. I wondered if it was an ear infection. We'd ruled out food poisoning after I didn't throw up. My mother drove us to Mount Auburn, where I was promptlyinjected, inspected, detected, infected, neglected, and selected plugged into a heart monitor, an oxygen monitor, and an IV drip, given an EKG and depleted of several vials of blood, and then ignored for the next three hours. I was freezing and they piled heated blankets on me. The light sensitivity and the acute dizziness faded as the boredom and annoyance came in. Rob read a history of Marvel Comics and I did not sleep because the blood-pressure cuff set off an alarm every time it checked me, which was apparently not diagnostic of anything.
The eventual diagnosis was "vasovagal syncope," which turns out to mean "you felt lousy and you fainted." I hadn't experienced a seizure; I hadn't hit my head when I fell; I had been unresponsive for several moments after passing out, but all my neurological reflexes checked out fine at the hospital—I remembered asking Rob during the slow, light-painful, stumbling-into-things dressing phase if I was making sense when I spoke and he answered unhesitatingly yes. I would have trusted him to tell me if I was not. They sent us home around eight-thirty in the morning on a day when neither of us could stay in bed later than noon; I took a shower to wash off the last traces of EKG glue that the little acetone packets they lend you if you don't have nail polish remover at home had been unable to remove and we both went to bed.
I am now awake; as a state of being, it is totally overrated. But I am not dizzy, not nauseated, not falling into things, and incidentally enjoying being married. A lot. So that's cool. I have to thank like the entire internet tonight.
In other news, my flash "Anonymity" has been accepted by Mythic Delirium. The piece was originally set to appear in Fantastique Unfettered's Shakespeare Unfettered special issue, but it was left homeless when FU folded in October; I am very pleased thattime_shark decided to pick it up, because I had no idea where on earth it would fit again. It's Shakespeare and Marlowe on the internet, snarking about the authorship controversy. I should have trusted the weirdness of a man who wears the Goblin Queens' hat.
So, life.
derspatchel and I went to a hotel. We are not having a honeymoon in the formal sense, although we are planning some trips in the upcoming year, but we wanted something a little offset from the everyday of our half-unpacked apartment and dishes in the sink and it was the correct decision. We met his mother in the afternoon and took her to see the glass flowers at the Harvard Museum of Natural History. We went home afterward and ate dinner quietly, by ourselves. We were looking forward to sleep.For our second night, we went to the ER.
It is good to know I have married the sort of person who will literally catch me when I fall, but I could have done without the intense nausea, dizziness, tinnitus, and whiteout that preceded me fainting for the first time in my life that I can remember. I don't even remember reaching for the seltzer, which is what Rob tells me I was doing when I dropped. I just remember his voice sounding suddenly anxious ("Sonya? Hon? Hon, stay with me!") and the disoriented realization that intead of being on my feet near the green basket chair, however sickly, I was on the floor in front of it, supported against him. Then I fell over sideways and shivered a lot. He put a pillow under my head and his bathrobe on top of me for a blanket. We called urgent care. The woman on the other end of the line said something about in sickness and in health and I protested distinctly, we didn't even promise that! It took me much longer than usual to get dressed; the ringing in my ears was deafening and metallic and something was wrong with my inner ear, so that I felt whirling and out of phase with my own body every time I bent or stood or turned my head. It was in fact fairly frightening, because I had no idea what was causing it. I wondered if it was an ear infection. We'd ruled out food poisoning after I didn't throw up. My mother drove us to Mount Auburn, where I was promptly
The eventual diagnosis was "vasovagal syncope," which turns out to mean "you felt lousy and you fainted." I hadn't experienced a seizure; I hadn't hit my head when I fell; I had been unresponsive for several moments after passing out, but all my neurological reflexes checked out fine at the hospital—I remembered asking Rob during the slow, light-painful, stumbling-into-things dressing phase if I was making sense when I spoke and he answered unhesitatingly yes. I would have trusted him to tell me if I was not. They sent us home around eight-thirty in the morning on a day when neither of us could stay in bed later than noon; I took a shower to wash off the last traces of EKG glue that the little acetone packets they lend you if you don't have nail polish remover at home had been unable to remove and we both went to bed.
I am now awake; as a state of being, it is totally overrated. But I am not dizzy, not nauseated, not falling into things, and incidentally enjoying being married. A lot. So that's cool. I have to thank like the entire internet tonight.
In other news, my flash "Anonymity" has been accepted by Mythic Delirium. The piece was originally set to appear in Fantastique Unfettered's Shakespeare Unfettered special issue, but it was left homeless when FU folded in October; I am very pleased that
time_shark decided to pick it up, because I had no idea where on earth it would fit again. It's Shakespeare and Marlowe on the internet, snarking about the authorship controversy. I should have trusted the weirdness of a man who wears the Goblin Queens' hat.So, life.
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Thank you. It was reassuring to have a bunch of bad reasons ruled out!
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Thank you. All the blood tests came back within normal limits and the doctor didn't feel the need to add an X-ray or an ultrasound after all, so I was instructed to consider it an unpleasant one-off unless it happens again, in which case we will begin to look at causes. Of which there are a cool million, so I am just hoping it doesn't—I do not need to live inside a Victorian novel, for many reasons including the prose. It was weirdly reassuring to hear that I had manifested all the textbook symptoms; nothing was anomalous or worrying to the doctor, suggestive of a more complex problem. I never have textbook symptoms of anything.
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Thank you. It was weird. I'm okay going another thirty-two years before it happens again!
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The blood pressure thing setting off alarms is apparently a thing that happens a lot; as far as I can tell from watching this happen myself is that sometimes it doesn't register that you have a blood pressure for unknown reasons and thinks you're flat-lining. Hence the alarm.
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Thank you; I am!
as far as I can tell from watching this happen myself is that sometimes it doesn't register that you have a blood pressure for unknown reasons and thinks you're flat-lining. Hence the alarm.
It seemed to think I was without blood pressure for at least three hours. I think the heart monitor was disagreeing. Maybe that's what the other set of beeps was about.
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Thank you! I like two of these events much better than the other!
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However, congratulations on your marriage and on the sale!
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It was not fun. I was told not to consider it anything more than an unpleasant one-off experience unless it recurs, in which case we will need to explore why, but the triggers for the vasovagal response are legion and range from dramatic conventions like "sight of one's own blood" and "emotional shock" to physical commonsenses like "hunger," "dehydration," and "standing up very quickly." The doctor herself theorized a mix of exhaustion, stress, and coming out of a very hot shower into a much colder house. At the moment I am not worrying about it; I just want to sleep tonight!
However, congratulations on your marriage and on the sale!
Thank you!
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I have taken to carrying a water bottle with me everywhere in a sling on my person for exactly this reason, because I find my incidents are very tied to dehydration. I also find that regularly eating magnesium rich foods can keep it from happening (brussel sprouts, bananas, almonds, etc.) as frequently. Getting a solid potassium/magnesium balance as well as enough salt has helped me stay on an even keel.
I am glad that
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Thank gods for the wedded state and health insurance.
Utterly gleeful about "Anonymity." I love it.
Take care, both of you.
Nine
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Nah, Loki'd have been weirder. Like, come out of the shower, fall over, turn into a salmon, kind of thing. That would also have been awkward. I don't think we have a stopper for the tub and a sink is not a good location for a three-foot fish.
Utterly gleeful about "Anonymity." I love it.
Thank you. I am really very happy it has a new and more permanent home.
Take care, both of you.
We take care of each other. We are doing what we can.
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Hope you never experience those symptoms again, they sound horrid.
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I will see what I can do.
Hope you never experience those symptoms again, they sound horrid.
Thank you. It was not fun!
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But I very am glad that you now have Rob to catch you when you fall, and vice versa.
[Yes, I think you already said something like that. It's still true.]
PS: yeesh, you must have fainted fairly soon after we were texting about the squid hat...
PPS: if this were FB, I would "like" Nine's comment.
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Thank you. I am glad, too.
PS: yeesh, you must have fainted fairly soon after we were texting about the squid hat...
I do not think contemplating the squid hat brought this on! It hasn't sounded Lovecraftian, just tentacly.
PPS: if this were FB, I would "like" Nine's comment.
I have taken to leaving comments like "Thank God LJ has no 'like' button, but I approve of this statement very much."
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Major congrats on the sale!
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Thank you. I am very glad he was. I trust now that next time we'll be able to express our love and support for one another in some way that doesn't sound like either a Victorian novel or an inspirational poster.
Major congrats on the sale!
Thank you!
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Well done on the sale!
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*hugs* I will be fine not doing that again!
Well done on the sale!
Thank you!
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Hoping you will feel even better and better and congrats on your flash story sale!
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Dude! It doesn't need to be a fad! I hate following trends, anyway!
(I hope things are all right.)
Hoping you will feel even better and better and congrats on your flash story sale!
Thank you!
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Heart of my heart.
Automatic blood pressure checks every five minutes do not a lighthouse with foghorn make, however.
Seriously. Which major anniversary is lighthouses again?
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Please cc me with the answer--I hope I haven't missed it!
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Congratulations on everything else!
On myriad causes of vasovagal syncope: it is also possible to deliberately trigger an episode. A woman at a church I used to attend had mastered it, in order to put an end to drawn-out altar calls.
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Congratulations on everything else!
Thank you on both fronts!
it is also possible to deliberately trigger an episode. A woman at a church I used to attend had mastered it, in order to put an end to drawn-out altar calls.
. . . I am impressed by her fortitude. That is not a skill I would want to practice frequently.
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Congrats on being married.
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That basically sums up my reaction!
Congrats on being married.
Thank you. So far I like it!
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No fear. I think we can be weird enough without nausea on our own time.
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Thank you.
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Congratulations on successfully beta-testing the marriage, though!
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Bleh. I still find it faintly unnerving that I don't remember even thinking about seltzer, much less going for it. I remember wanting to get into the green basket chair (it may be correctly called a papasan, but I never heard the term until I started hanging out with Rob), but evidently I didn't reach it. I do not like things that interfere with my memory, which is why I hate a certain class of anaesthetics.
Best anyone has been able to figure out it's just One of Those Things, which is unfortunate insofar as if it were the sight of blood or something I could know what to avoid, but is at least better than it being About Something.
What are the circumstances under which it's happened? (I'm not trying to diagnose a cause, I'm just curious.)
Congratulations on successfully beta-testing the marriage, though!
Hee. Thank you!
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Various guesses about why I fainted that time include dehydration, all the standing, and the fact that I was too short to see a horizon or anything else around me on account of the crowd, but no one really knows - on Yom Kippur I go 25 hours without drinking, walk miles, and then stand for over an hour straight, and have never had this problem, and the Rally was in October, so it wasn't very hot out either (though there was a lot of direct sun, insofar as you can get direct sun in October). My working theory is that I obviously just faint once ever 14 years.
* If that doesn't make sense, I would blame my memory rather than the doctor, since that's just my seventeen-years-old recollection.
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Yeah, I associate feeling better immediately after throwing up with food poisoning, but I am also not a person who throws up unless I have food poisoning, so it's possible it's a soothing action for a whole bunch of other sensations I don't experience. (Also, I don't feel better after throwing up from food poisoning, I just know I don't have a toxic substance in my system anymore. The actual act of vomiting is awful and I consider myself lucky to have experienced it maybe half a dozen times in my life.)
And I fainted at the Rally to Restore Sanity
I vaguely remember this! Being told about it afterward, anyway, when everyone had returned to their respective lands of working internet.
My working theory is that I obviously just faint once ever 14 years.
Well, it's better than having
locusts[edit] cicadas.[edited because most things are better than having locusts, but I was actually thinking of the insects with a fixed schedule]
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The doctor asked if I'd been standing with my knees locked, which I very definitely hadn't because I'd been taking a shower and then moving around the bathrobe and the hallway afterward, but I wonder if that was a component with you.
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(I suppose one could float a brains-are-devious-things theory where fainting was a clever way to get myself space in the midst of the crowd when I was already feeling shut in, but it's much more likely that my feeling shut in was due either to the fact that I was already starting to feel gross, or to the same close-quarters-with-no-horizon that was simultaneously leading me to feel faint. Also, if my brain pulled stunts like that I can think of any number of clogged subway cars that would have made better candidates.)
I can't be sure what my knees were doing when I fainted at the snack bar, though since I think I was leaning casually on a ledge jutting out from the delivery window, they probably wouldn't have been locked.
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Well--glad it's over! Now carry on! There is more good food waiting for you, and more cool films, and more dreams and poems and stories, and I'm looking forward to your sharing about these things!
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Yeah, my dad came home from the doctor once and asked my mother (a physician) what chondromalacia of the patella meant, and she said, well, basically you've got a sick kneecap.
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I just wrote about some cool films! Life carries on!
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Verdict on marriage so far: it's fun! I really like it! We can skip the medical emergencies!
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When I have a bad cough, I very occasionally faint from coughing fits (and pretty regularly come close). And I fainted once from anemia when I was (ill-advisedly, it turns out) trying to cut out red meat in college. But sounds like you had a bunch of symptoms I don’t have and a slower recovery. I sure hope you don’t have any more of these!
Warm wishes to you! And you and
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Heh. Thank you. I am, too!
When I have a bad cough, I very occasionally faint from coughing fits (and pretty regularly come close).
Ew. That sounds like straightforward lack of oxygen; I don't remember fainting when I had whooping cough in high school, but I do remember crashing to my knees more than once because it took too much effort to stay on my feet and haul air into my lungs at the same time. Do not get a bad cough this winter! Didn't you already pay some appalling dues to Nergal this season?
Warm wishes to you! And you and derspatchel keep being adorably sweet to each other, OK?
I think we can manage that!
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Congratulations on the acceptance! I really liked that one, and I'm glad it's got a home.
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Thank you!