... more than you needed to know... but it just happened that in writing the reply I was able to articulate it. (It's something that's bothered me for years. Why don't I visit people more?)

I'm glad you were able to sort it out into words. I think the solution is for you to visit people more. Then it will stop being a rare, strange event fraught with so much stress and significance and just become, "Oh, yeah, I'm driving two hours to Boston to see [x] next week. Cool!" I mean, you went to Timor-Leste. Boston is much closer and has a mail service.

Peal divers dive for drowned bells?

Poem!