Well, **you** have made a DVD of it, and for that we-your-friends at least can be grateful! Maybe the powers that be will wise up and do similar. It sound excellent.

...and a mechanical little tic of a smile for everything he doesn't understand, like someone who's heard of flirting and sarcasm but isn't quite sure how to recognize them in the wild

Nice :-)

Writing a note to remind yourself to propose sounds like something off one of those Lichtenstein-esque greeting cards, where the woman realizes she forgot to have a baby, or whatever.