I was on a lot of oxygen and I had a new girlfriend, things were too heady for me to notice my ample omentum overage once the skin had come off and the bandages were on? Nicole nursed me with lots of gauze and sticky tape. It was appalling and cute. Possibly appallingly cute, but I'm still not over the embarassment. "Yeah, so I was talking to you on the phone and pouring from the teakettle and..."


You should totally learn to ride a motorcycle. In the interest of not making statements which objectify your physique in relation to said motorcycle in ways that would cause you to ponk me in the head, you already own a leather jacket.