I think I never really associated said exaltation with gender, so much as Sayers's feelings for Wimsey. Of course Harriet can be more mundane, because she's the author's stand-in -- Wimsey is her creation, and as such she wants him to be as perfect as possible without being too unreal. "Definitely too good to live." She's much more interested in creating an idealized person to dwell on than an idealized role for herself, and if he's the ideal everyone else has to fall short in one way or another.

Harriet does get to totally knock him around emotionally just by existing and being able to read him uncannily well, though.