I parse it as a problematic character trait arising to some extent from the particular traumas of Harry's upbringing (which take a while to come into focus) and that, as is not unrealistic with reactions coming from traumas, it takes a hell of a long time to get through his thick skull as problematic.

I also parse the talking about pretty much every post-pubescent female character mentioned in terms of conventional attractiveness first as a conscious stylistic trope, in the direction of Archie Goodwin.

It's possible that I am overthinking this, but if so I like the books I end up with better than the ones that Butcher intended.