Your incessant monologizing fills the castle with ennui

[sovay]

Hey, I've thought of a meme.

Sparked by the fact that I wouldn't actually want to be a Stoppard character—I'd die in a fire or I'd be A.E. Housman—who would you like to be a character in a play by? Why? Whose plays would you absolutely not want to find yourself in? (Nota bene: to be differentiated from the writers whose plays you feel like you're living in already. Given how most of my friendlist seems to be doing, that way lies Oh, yeah? I'll see your O'Neill and raise you Sarah Kane.) No fair just calling Shakespeare.

Otherwise I've stopped sleeping again, which makes the idea of more frequent posts seem even more remote and exhausting. I should still try.

In the meantime: talk to me about theater!

Comments

[handful-ofdust.livejournal.com]

In terms of where you wouldn't want to end up, Seneca seems pretty clear, since you're just there to suffer and die, and shit, you can do that on your own time. OTOH, I've always wanted to perform in a version of The Lion in Winter, one of those few plays in which there literally are no bad parts.

[rax.livejournal.com]

Is it wrong that I would genuinely want to be in {\it Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf}?

[papersky.livejournal.com]

My immediate thought was "Anybody but Mamet!"

[larryhammer]

Keep me the hell out of Beckett.

I'd take Pinter over Beckett.

---L.

[rysmiel.livejournal.com]

I could probably also handle being in a Charles Busch play, if need be.

Also, just in case it isn't superfluous; no Sartre.

[zdenka]

Do want: Corneille, Dumas (pere), Rostand. Because there is a moral compass, people's fates are not arbitrary, and things matter.

Do not want: anyone surrealist, Tennessee Williams, Elizabethan revenge tragedy (I don't actually need to cut my enemies' livers out or whatever), Lord Dunsany (much as I love reading him, his characters are mostly screwed).

[strange-selkie.livejournal.com]

I'd want to be in Goldman's The Lion in Winter. I love the characters in that play. Anyone except John, please, not that Alais has much interesting to say, but nothing bad happened to her in the historical record.

Also, did you know about http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0319754/ ? With Rafe Spall -- Timothy Spall's son! -- as John? "Nobody'd piss on me to put the fire out!" I feel I must see this posthaste.

[thistleingrey.livejournal.com]

It would be interesting, if uncomfortable, to be a character in one of Young Jean Lee's plays. I like interesting. Mostly.

[rachelmanija.livejournal.com]

My life has often felt like a Craig Lucas play. I'm okay with it staying that way. And I wouldn't mind being in a Tony Kushner play.

Keep me the hell away from Pinter, Satre, and Beckett. Or Sarah Kane. I looked up a summary of her most famous play, and... uh...

WARNING! GROSS! TRIGGERY! SPOILERY!

Eventually, he crawls into the hole with the dead baby and eats it. The stage direction then reads that Ian dies. It starts raining, and Ian says "Shit".

[timesygn.livejournal.com]

... who would you like to be a character in a play by?
Mamet, so long as I was the hero because Mamaet's heroes inevitably triumph over sordid situations in believable ways.

Whose plays would you absolutely not want to find yourself in?
Mamet. As a supporting character. Because they succumb to sordid situations in believable ways, and invariably end miserably

[ladymondegreen.livejournal.com]

I would not mind being in a Dodie Smith play.

Do musicals count?

[gwynnega]

I'd like to be in a play by Wilde or Shaw. I'd say Rostand because I love Cyrano, but it might be a drag to actually be Roxane.

[teenybuffalo.livejournal.com]

Best meme in ages, longest comment ever.

Where I would want to wind up: as a character from Gilbert and Sullivan. Opera must be an option here, because G&S is the only place I would choose to live outside reality. (Do I have to name a character who already exists, or would I be a new character?) Lots of things I care about are SRS BZNZ there (tea, baked goods, ghosts, TRU LUV, piracy, complicated codes of honor, fairyland, poetry). Everybody but me is funny without knowing it or else has a nice delicate sense of humor and irony. Of course, nothing about me would be funny in any way. And all the subjects of satire are handled gently enough to be funny without demolishing them. Also, unless you're Mr. Wells or Bunthorne, you usually wind up falling in love with someone before the end. Really, I want to rent the Dower House at Castle Bunthorne and move in.

There is one Eugene O'Neill play I wouldn't mind being in: Ah, Wilderness! It's like you took Long Day's Journey Into Night and played it all for laughs. Also, Mother isn't an addict anymore, the men of the house aren't drunkards, and the Edmund-equivalent character is a tender-hearted teenage poet whose favorite poem is "The Ballad of Reading Gaol" (he pronounces it as in "goalpost"). He quarrels with his girlfriend, his family don't understand him, he unsuccessfully tries to pick up a hooker, he gets beaten up in a bar, and he eventually makes it up with his girlfriend and his family. A Day In The Life Of Nebbishy Poet Lad.

Tons of writers I wouldn't want to be written by. Let me think of one with particular applicability to me. Ah! I have it! I wouldn't want to be a character in Love Suicide at Amijima, a (nineteenth-century?) Japanese play whose background I've never Googled because it annoys me too much. It's about exactly what it says on the wrapper: two lovers Can Never Be Together because he's already married and she's of a different social class than he. So they go off and kill themselves in order to be reborn together. Or possibly just be together in the afterlife--I'm not clear on the beliefs involved.

I hate this ending very, very much. When it was first written there was apparently a fad for plays about love-suicides--and a fad for real love-suicides, as well. Kind of like the German emo boys who killed themselves in imitation of Werther. The reason it still makes me angry--and it's been years--was that the play was beautifully written and full of melodrama. It's a good play if you disregard the message; I was really into it.

And I went along even with the hero's stabbing the heroine and then hanging himself, and then said WAIT STOP WHAT NOT OK and felt like rushing through the fourth wall and slapping some sense into the characters. "Hey lady! Find a dude who wants you in THIS life! Hey dude! Go home to your wife, idiot!"

[ap-aelfwine.livejournal.com]

It's interesting to reflect that I can hardly think of any play I'd like to be a character in. Maybe it's just that my brain's fried from trying and failing to write a proposal for a paper for a conference on the short story in Irish-language literature, but right now it seems as if every play I can think of is one that doesn't have much in the way of happy ending.

There's bound to be something else. Maybe a Wilde play wouldn't be too bad, although there's not much place for folk like me. O'Keefe's The Poor Soldier is full of buffoons, other than the hero and the virtuous captain who arranges for his rival in love to be commissioned because he realises the woman truly loves the man and that's the only way her guardian will permit the match; that said, the songs are nice, and I'd like to see a production, although I question how and where one could find singers capable of doing it justice, cos it's too Irish to be turned to opera or Broadway but most traditional singers haven't the volume for musical theatre. Might be all right to be in a Molière play, depending which one it was--I could probably cheat the Bourgeois Gentilhomme out of a few sous for lessons in something or other, and have a bit of fun doing it.

I'll try to put some more thought into it later tonight, because this really is an interesting meme.

Any road, I hope you can find some sleep soon.

[moon-custafer.livejournal.com]

I think I'd be ok living in Under the Gaslight (Augustin Daly, 1867). It contains what may be the original villain-ties-someone-to-the-train-tracks scene, except it's the heroine who does the rescuing, after hacking her way out of a locked storage shed with an axe. I wouldn't want to be Laura, the heroine, though, because kickass as she is, she still marries Ray, the utter twit of a nominal-hero. However, there's a street-urchin named Peachblossom who, now or later (I can't tell if she's supposed to be a child or a teenager from the script), will probably end up with Joe Snorky, the one-armed Civil War vet who is *way* cooler than Ray. So, yeah, it's the melodrama for me.

[nineweaving.livejournal.com]

I'm already in Cold Comfort Farm (do filmscripts count?), and I want out. I would rather be in My Fair Lady, as a Pickering or Mrs. Pearce. Sadly, Gilbert & Sullivan's roles for older women are unfunny from the inside. The Wicked Witch of the West would be tremendous fun, right up until some chit threw a bucket of water at me.

Oh, I know. I could be a rude mechanical.

Nine

[kerrickadrian.livejournal.com]

David Ives. Except Variations on the Death of Trotsky, for obvious reasons.

[ashlyme.livejournal.com]

Oh. I'd choose to be in a David Rudkin play, though I only know his television work. (Penda's Fen and Artemis 81.) They're full of shifting layers and visions; they discuss everything from Elgar to British paganism; plus, they're queer-themed and rooted in the Midlands.

As to who I'd avoid? Much as I revere his prose, poetry and art, Mervyn Peake. Partly because The Wit to Woo seemed to undo him. Partly because I don't rate his plays that highly (although the adaptation of Mr Pye is lovely). Truthfully, I don't think anyone's staged them in years; I read them in Peake's Progress.

I'm ambivalent about Beckett. John Hurt in Krapp's Last Tape, though: yes.

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

I know so few plays--certainly not enough to like whole playwrights. I very much liked Murder in the Cathedral, though, and I think I could stand to be in any play that TS Eliot wrote.