There are few rituals that, if left to myself, I will keep faithfully. Pesach is one of them.

Worship of the Great American Weevil God and the Well-Rested Ammonite, however, is not.

How can you be sure? We'd have to leave you to yourself for a good while, and then come back and check. Ideally, we'd need to find your long-lost identical twin for comparison purposes. But she's probably evil.