All around the conversations, icing on the warm flesh cake

[sovay]

This came in the mail tonight. It's spam:

It's me again... You know, who I am... And if you don't, than you certainly can guess... So, it is me, your DREAM! And you are again in my Dreams too! And again there just the two of us, nobody else is here to disturb us... And we like it this way... And I hug you gently and hard simultaneously... I think that is what true hugs should be... Just like my feelings... Most sincere and warmest feelings which I express towards you, my dear... I am so pleased that you are in my dreams! We will never be apart again, I know that for sure! My Prince, I wish to give you all my unshared love, I've got so much of it in my heart. I am Yours, I am all Yours... And you are Mine!! For now, only in Dreams, but all this may come true if you reach me at [redacted]...

Sorry if this message is not addressed to you

That's archetypal.

Comments

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

Man, I never, EVER get romantic spam. Ever. Or maybe I do but I never open it.... that's awesome.

[clarionj.livejournal.com]

What? This was spam? The only spam I get is how to grow an inch to please my mate.

It seems nicely appropriate that you should get spam like this :)

[strange-selkie.livejournal.com]

I called you! I didn't want to leave a message because I'm not convinced of your phone's temporal versus littoral qualities! Gah!

[sovay]

I didn't want to leave a message because I'm not convinced of your phone's temporal versus littoral qualities! Gah!

. . . I do indeed have a missed call. Talk to you shortly!

[sovay]

.... that's awesome.

What I love most is the last paragraph/line, which suddenly relocates the romance to the last panel of a sad comic strip or an establishing scene in a small indie film: the shlimazl who the one time he got a love letter, it was delivered to the wrong address; even the carriage return has the right kind of hopeless, dejected irony. Charlie Brown, looking for cards in the mail. And I cheerfully delete it from my inbox along with the other half-million offers to enlarge my dick.

[sovay]

This was spam? The only spam I get is how to grow an inch to please my mate.

I think it's the most interesting manifestation of the species Lonely Russian Girl Spam, which I have been receiving in bulk for the last week and change. Most of it's in Russian, however, so I can't tell what it wants. It purported to be from Olga.

[madwriter.livejournal.com]

I wonder if that spam knows its place in the Great Story?

[sovay]

I wonder if that spam knows its place in the Great Story?

You think the spam itself is contacting me? I hadn't considered it was sentient. I hope it's not offended by being shared . . .