If he asks you am I running, tell him I'm flying

[sovay]

Rabbit, rabbit! Happy New Year! I baked an almond cake which failed so surreally I am now studying the remains to see what happened. According to the recipe, it was supposed to collapse in the middle, but it was also supposed to have some structural integrity afterward—I am not discounting the possibility that I just don't like this style of cake, but it literally broke up on re-entry. Looking for photographs of Peter Ustinov, I found him being a feral teenager and a slightly older teenage bohemian. He never lost the cat-look. I think tomorrow I will try the spider cake and see if it helps.

Comments

[handful_ofdust]

I totally never knew Ustinov without the beard! I read his autobiography fairly early, though--my dad had it, and I think I gravitated towards it because I'd imprinted on him as Prince John in Robin Hood. Gay Disney furry neuroticism at its finest.;)

[asakiyume]

That spider cake recipe looks yummy and fun. Good luck with it!

[selkie]

Whahappen? Was it the whole-citrus almond cake? You have to be willing to accept a sort of pudding from that one if the grind isn’t right on the almonds.

[sovay]

Whahappen? Was it the whole-citrus almond cake?

No, it was essentially this recipe with slight differences in baking temperature (350° F) and the diameter of the springform (9-inch). It fell in on itself like a kicked soufflé, disintegrated internally when removed from the pan, and was so dense with butter that I described it over the phone to my father as having the gravity of a neutron star made out of fat. I tried leaving it to drain on paper towels like cheap pizza to see if that would help, but it did not. I had a terrible conscience over consigning a perfectly innocent tube of almond paste to such a fate. I went looking for the online version to see if the version copied out of The Essential New York Times Cookbook had suffered some kind of tragic misprint in the quantities of butter or flour, but it really doesn't look like it. It is one of the more bewildering cake failures I have encountered. Everyone seems to like it; it looked just fine on the page; the batter even tasted great. I plan to give it one more try when I can get more almond paste, but if it still comes out like the greased jigsaw of pound cakes, we're done here.

[sovay]

That spider cake recipe looks yummy and fun. Good luck with it!

Thank you! (I will in fact be waiting until Monday to make it, because I've spent the entire day thinking it was Sunday and I want spatch to be free to enjoy the bounty of the spider cake, assuming it does not also go surreally wrong, which I should prefer it not to.)

[selkie]

Speaking as an actual neutron star made out of fat, that looks like way too much fat. You’ve got two sticks of butter plus sour cream plus four yolks, which crosses out of plush and into “…that’s gonna float to the top.” If you cannot in good conscience ditch it, I’d pick out the bakedest bits and eat them with plain yogurt.

[sovay]

You’ve got two sticks of butter plus sour cream plus four yolks, which crosses out of plush and into “…that’s gonna float to the top.”

I am absolutely planning to cut down the butter when I re-try it. The version I was working from had the sour cream and baking soda mixed together as the first step and allowed to sit until incorporated into the batter, by which point they had become an intriguing sort of lather that suggested a fluffy final product. I did note the high percentage of milkfat, but I figured the failure mode would be one of those cakes that are basically a custard with pretensions. Alas. Do you think using whole eggs instead of yolks would amend things at all?

If you cannot in good conscience ditch it, I’d pick out the bakedest bits and eat them with plain yogurt.

I have been sort of chewing the edges, which are the driest and most caramelized, but I still wouldn't call it the snack of champions.

[gwynnega]

Those are great photos of Ustinov.

[selkie]

At a squint, I’d go one stick of butter, two yolks and one whole egg, and depending on the almond paste I’d kick the flour up by two tablespoons ish (the higher end of -ish for a can of Solo).

Water content on butter has been all over the place this year, and egg volumes are not what they were forty years ago (it’s an Amanda Hesser now, bless her ubiquitous heart, but it was a Maida Heatter before that and had 2 and 1/3 cup flour and was baked in a ring pan) but mostly, yeah, it’s the fat ratio that’s blooey.

[sovay]

Water content on butter has been all over the place this year, and egg volumes are not what they were forty years ago

Both of these factors have been under discussion in our household recently.

(it’s an Amanda Hesser now, bless her ubiquitous heart, but it was a Maida Heatter before that and had 2 and 1/3 cup flour and was baked in a ring pan)

(a) That makes a hell of a lot more sense. My mother's version of the East 62nd Street Lemon Cake uses two sticks of butter, but also three cups of flour and a cup of milk.

(b) If it started life as Maida Heatter, chances are very good that I can dig the original recipe out of one of my mother's books as soon as public health allows.

[selkie]

It should be in Maida Heatter’s Cakes and features a box grater for the almond paste, which makes me suspect it was an edition older than we.

[sovay]

Those are great photos of Ustinov.

I really like him.

[sovay]

and features a box grater for the almond paste, which makes me suspect it was an edition older than we.

Yeah, I just used Odense.

[selkie]

We sit under electric current, our household animals eat meat every day, our clothing is machine-seamed and our almond paste comes foil-wrapped. We have done our ancestors proud.

[sovay]

I totally never knew Ustinov without the beard!

I am especially partial to him without it, but it isn't like he lost that mouth, either.

[edit] So I just watched two films with younger Ustinov, one from 1943 and another from 1950, and based on his ability to look at age thirty as though he still couldn't buy his own drinks, I am seriously wondering if he was one of the people who acquired facial hair in a bid for visible maturity because the rest of their physiognomy sure wasn't helping them out. (spatch pointed out nonetheless that by the time he was old enough to buy his own drinks, he would never have needed to.)

I read his autobiography fairly early, though--

I would really like to read that! spatch has his book on Russia and it is extremely quotable.

my dad had it, and I think I gravitated towards it because I'd imprinted on him as Prince John in Robin Hood. Gay Disney furry neuroticism at its finest.

Legit!

[minoanmiss]

*reads this thread hungrily, gets to the end, cheers*

[minoanmiss]

Sings "He'll always be Batiatus to me..." (as pretty much the only '60s movie about Rome that's not about Christianity, _Spartacus_ is one of those movies I'll always watch given the chance.)

[sovay]

Sings "He'll always be Batiatus to me..."

Also legit!

(as pretty much the only '60s movie about Rome that's not about Christianity, _Spartacus_ is one of those movies I'll always watch given the chance.)

I respect that decision. I have not seen it many times, but one of them was in 2016 as part of the Somerville Theatre's 70 mm festival and that was fantastic.

[ethelmay]

I have always admired its title (Dear Me). Epistolary, egotistical, and slightly taken aback, all in two words.

[nnozomi]

Happy New Year! I rarely seem to manage a comment but I always find your posts illuminating. Hoping for good health, good writing and general good things for you for the New Year. (I will reserve comment on whether anything called spider cake belongs in that list!)

[cmcmck]

He was quite a looker!

[troisoiseaux]

Happy new year! Wishing you health, happiness, and many good books to read/movies to watch in 2022.

[sovay]

Happy New Year! I rarely seem to manage a comment but I always find your posts illuminating.

Thank you! That is really nice to hear.

Hoping for good health, good writing and general good things for you for the New Year. (I will reserve comment on whether anything called spider cake belongs in that list!)

Likewise! (The cake neither contains nor resembles spiders! Apparently the way the cream bakes into the batter creates a web-like effect. I just want to make it on grounds of corn pudding and exploiting our new skillet.)

[sovay]

Happy new year! Wishing you health, happiness, and many good books to read/movies to watch in 2022.

Thank you! Likewise!

[sovay]

He was quite a looker!

I am glad you agree! I think because I grew up on him, it took me years to notice.

[handful_ofdust]

Exactly.;)

[sovay]

Epistolary, egotistical, and slightly taken aback, all in two words.

A triple threat!

[jesse_the_k]

Happy new year!

May you continue to be inspired by celebrity or cookery or wtf-ery, because I love reading your delightful prose!

[sovay]

May you continue to be inspired by celebrity or cookery or wtf-ery, because I love reading your delightful prose!

Thank you! Happy New Year!