That's TERRIBLE.

I KNOW.

It's like they have all the ingredients for a beautiful cake but manage to mix them up into something awful instead.

spatch had to listen to a lot of me ranting in the shower about this movie and one of the things that eventually emerged out of all the imprecations was that I can't remember the last time I saw a movie so spectacularly miscalibrate the relationships between its leads. In order for the ending to read as anything other than nuclear family boilerplate, Phil has to make an obviously better partner for Sally than Dan and he just . . . doesn't. Sally's feelings for Dan require no explanation. He's an alcoholic ex-con who has trouble with long distance and steady jobs, but he's also compassionate, principled, and unfailingly supportive with no expectation of reciprocity (which doesn't stop Sally from doing everything in her power to help him out when their positions are reversed, right down to rescuing him from the cops with the same breezy, "Oh, I'm sorry I'm late, honey," because their relationship is not The Giving Tree). They talk about everything, they tease one another, they know each other's secrets. He admired her at once for her honesty. She took the reasons for his prison term in stride. Phil is a nice guy and a good father and I recognize these qualities are not chopped liver, but I also don't see how they compare to the kind of relationship where a five-year hiatus doesn't put a dent in your rapport. It's even more aggravating because until the point where the script starts dishing out lobotomies like tic-tacs, I believe that Dan and Sally need someone to shake them and make them realize the other feels the same way. As often happens with people who consider themselves damaged goods, he mistakes her affection for gratitude (and then it hurts too much to be around) and she thinks his kindness must be platonic (because he's always dodging her expressions of affection) and it's stupid, but it's stupid in keeping with human psychology, not narrative contrivance. You want to see this combustible blend of best friendship and mutual pining rewarded. It's not, at least not in any way that feels as though it gives Sally a fair trade for what she's lost (unless her child is supposed to make up for everything and one of Dan's main arguments against the marriage plan is that it can't possibly), and while I understand that I do not always feel about movies as they intend me to, in this case I really think it's the movie's fault. This experience has given me much more sympathy for people in ship wars, but also aaaargh.

Here's my rewrite: while Sally's ineffectively pursuing Phil, Dan makes himself genuinely (i.e., without scheming intent) a friend of Phil's. Then Phil gets sick, elects Dan as the guardian in case of his own death, and BOOM. Path's clear, baby, now you can marry the guy you actually love!

Phil and Dan actually know one another! They were friends in college! Hard luck on Phil, but I think I'll subscribe to your newsletter. It would be just as melodramatic without making me want to throw a boot through the screen.