Happy birthday. Wow, I didn't realise you're younger than me. You must now address me as "sempai."

This time of year in 1981, my mother lost the crown on her tooth to a Tootsie Roll and as a dentist's appointment would have been most convenient, instead the next day I was born.

Ah. Thus confirming my theory that tooth crowns are actually baby stoppers. Stop with the rogue eugenics experiments, dentists!