Honest to God, when I picture "person who can probably just buy off the rack and have it fit fine" in my head, it looks like you.

I appreciate it. The problem is that I am slender but have hips and this seems to cause some sort of fatal short-circuit in the minds of people who design pants: either the waist is right but I can't pull them up past my hips, or I can get them past my hips and then I have at least an extra size's worth around my waist. It drives me nuts.